A REVIEW OF THE RED DWARF DIMENSION
JUMP 1995 CONVENTION
PART ONE
BY MARIE BIRCH
To go, to the Second Part, of my A Review of The
Red Dwarf Dimension Jump 1995 Convention: Part Two, then please go to:
I am fully aware, that it may
be leaving it, a bit late, but I really do feel, that in all honesty, that I
must sort out, an indepth Review, about the previous:
Red Dwarf Dimension Jump 1995 Convention, which had been held, on Friday the
8th of September 1995, up until, Sunday the 10th of September 1995, at The
Ramada Hotel, Gatwick, Crawley, West Sussex.
We had originally arrived,
at The Ramada Hotel, Gatwick, Crawley, West Sussex, on Thursday the 7th of
September 1995, having decided, to arrive, a day earlier, just so, that we, could
get, our bearings, around the place, and that, would also mean, that we, would
have, the chance, to go out, on the Friday morning, and explore: Guildford,
Surrey, before: The Official Red Fan Club Attendees, would be, making their
arrival, at 3.00p.m, at The Ramada Hotel, Gatwick, Crawley, West Sussex.
We had, never attended, a
Red Dwarf Dimension Jump Convention, before, or any other: Science-Fiction
Convention, come to that, as it had, never really, appealed to us. We had
become fans of Red Dwarf, entirely by accident. We became fans during the
re-runs of Red Dwarf, during the Summer of 1994, and one Friday night, I was
feeling far too tired, to do some work on my book, for once. And as I had
heard, that Red Dwarf was been re-run on BBC2, I decided to watch it, that very
evening! I was rather curious to see it, because as we have got the Georgian Blackadder The Third series on video, and my husband had
informed me, that Chris Barrie, who had played the Ambassador in Nob And
Nobility: Episode III was in it, and as I had heard the name (I was reminded of
his name on the credits of Spitting Image, a few months later), but I just
could not, for the life me, recall, where I had seen him before, even though
the name seemed quite familiar. And therefore, I thought that it might jog a
few memories for me, where that was concerned! And when I saw him on Red Dwarf,
for the first time, I recognised him from the
Georgian Blackadder The Third episode: Nob and
Nobility: Episode III, right away, apart from the fact, that he was quite a few
years younger, than the French Ambassador! The episode of Red Dwarf, in
question, I saw was Timeslides: Episode V, Red Dwarf
III, which is now, one of my all-time favourite
episodes, of Red Dwarf! And I will review that, one day, but that is also a
story, in itself, and it will detract, from my Red Dwarf Dimension Jump
Convention review. Needless to say, as I was so impressed with the episode, and
especially it's acting content (from a Drama Student's point of view), that I
decided to set up the Video Recorder, for the following week, because I knew
that my Paul would like it, and he did, which was quite surprising, really,
because he didn't think that it would be his sort of thing. And therefore,
needless to say, the rest is history! I had joined, The Official Red Dwarf Fan
Club, the following March of 1995, and I had discovered, that there, was going,
to be, a Forthcoming: Red Dwarf Dimension Jump 1995 Convention, at The Moatbrook Hotel, Stratford-upon-Avon, Warwickshire, at the
end of July 1995, which would have been very convenient, for us, as The Moatbrook Hotel, Stratford-upon-Avon, Warwickshire, is
fairly easy, to get to, from where we live, and I had wondered, if it would be,
worth looking into, anyway. Unfortunately however, that was put off, in the
end, because they could not get, everything set up, in time. But that said,
however, I had written, to The Official Red Dwarf Fan Club, with regard, to the
supposed: Red Dwarf Dimension Jump 1995 Convention, at The Moatbrook
Hotel, Stratford-Upon-Avon, Warwickshire, at the end of July 1995, which would,
have been, very convenient, for us, as The Moatbrook
Hotel, Stratford-upon-Avon, Warwickshire, is fairly easy, to get to, from where
we live, and I had wondered, if it would, be worth looking into, anyway, and
they had said, that they, would Mail Shot me, with regard, to where, the
Forthcoming: Red Dwarf Dimension Jump 1995 Convention, at The Ramada Hotel,
Gatwick, Crawley, West Sussex, had been concerned, anyway. And within a month,
I had received a Registration Form, and booking details for, the Red Dwarf
Dimension Jump 1995 Convention, at The Ramada Hotel, Gatwick, Crawley, West
Sussex, from Friday the 8th of September to Sunday the 10th of September 1995,
and we, had been, fairly surprised at how easy, it was to get in, but I have
since worked it out, that it is only available to Fan Club members only, and
therefore, not so many people go, as they would, for example: say go to a Craig
Charles signing at HMV, or Virgin records, etcetera, etcetera, and not
everybody can afford the accommodation costs, and meals out, and some of the
fans have got other things on, anyway. And, the Red Dwarf Dimension Jump
Conventions, are also designed, to keep, the Press away, so that, the Red Dwarf
Dimension Jump Convention Guests can relax, and talk to the fans about their
work, and just generally be themselves, etcetera. And, I would personally
recommend, a Red Dwarf Dimension Jump Convention, to anybody, who is
interested, in attending.
And, the Guest Line up, for
the Red Dwarf Dimension Jump 1995 Convention, had been, as follows:
Doug Naylor, and Craig
Charles, and The Red Dwarf Visual Effects Team: Paul McGuinness,
and Alan (Rocky) Marshall, and Mike Tucker, and Norman Lovett, and Robert
Llewellyn, and Danny John-Jules, and Hattie Hayridge,
and Jane Killick, and Mel Bibby.
As I had stated, just now,
Paul and I, had arrived, on the Thursday, a day earlier, at The Ramada Hotel,
Gatwick, Crawley, West Sussex, on Thursday the 7th of September 1995, just to get,
our bearings, which had, given us, ample time, for us, to get, settled in, and
we, did have, the following morning, to ourselves, just before, the rest, of
the Red Dwarf Dimension Jump 1995 Convention Intake, had started, to pour in.
The Ramada Hotel, Gatwick, Crawley, West Sussex, is the usual type, of Business
Hotel, which is stuck right slam bang, on the very circumference of the
airport, and there are at least three Hotels, that are situated in the
vicinity. It was a bit of a culture shock for us, naturally, as we usually stay
in very isolated areas for our holidays, like Scotland, but this wasn't our
normal type of a holiday, so we soon got used to it! We did find, that the
route, to The Ramada Hotel, Gatwick, Crawley, West Sussex, had about three islands
to get to it, from the way that we had approached it, and somehow, we wound up
going round the cargo side of the airport, and we turned into the Fire Station,
which from the side, we thought, was the Hotel entrance. But fortunately for
us, we had only missed the Hotel entrance by about five hundred yards.
Ironically, Craig asked us for a laugh on the Saturday morning, whether we'd
all managed to find our way to the place! We could not believe the coincidence!
Well, once we were there, it was just a question of checking out our
accommodation, and quite surprisingly, it seemed, that we more or less had the
place to ourselves! We thought that the place, would
simply be swarming with Red Dwarf fans, but there were only the usual business
people about, which was quite surprising, really! And the people on reception
kept informing us, that the Lady, from: The Official Red Dwarf Fan Club, would
be setting up, a table tomorrow afternoon, outside the Convention rooms, and we
could check in, when they arrived, and that, The Official Red Dwarf Fan Club,
only booked the rooms from them, and that it was nothing to do with them,
etcetera, etcetera. So, with that thought in mind, we settled in at last, and
as we had arrived quite early in the afternoon, we had a swim in the Hotel
pool, and a Jacuzzi, and we explored, The Ramada Hotel Complex. There wasn't
much to see, apart from the Gymnasium, and we did have a walk outside the
Hotel, but the majority of it, was all concrete, and the garden was just round
the back, so, there was nothing left to it, but to settle down after dinner,
and we just took our drinks, from the bar, which was virtually deserted, and we
took our books and read, until it was time to go to bed. We also took the
opportunity of exploring, the Convention area, and we were quite surprised to
discover that there was a business dinner going on of some kind, which was the
last event to take place, before the Red Dwarf Dimension Jump 1995 Convention,
which we noticed on the board, the kind of board, that is used for business
bookings, was announced at the very bottom, that it was the next event on the
agenda! So, we were in business at last, the Red Dwarf Dimension Jump 1995
Convention, was definitely, being held in this Hotel! We hadn't expected it, to
be written, in Gold Leaf Letters! But we were expecting some kind of an
individual board with The Red Dwarf Logo on it, at the very least! But some
people do have very simple tastes indeed. The following morning, wasn't very
much different, apart from me getting up at quite an early hour, because I had
once again, asked Reception, the night before, if: The Official Red Dwarf Fan
Club had arrived, because this was the day! They had thought, that the Lady,
from: The Official Red Dwarf Fan Club, would definitely be, setting up, her
table, at 8.00a.m, and therefore, I could hand them, our Registration Receipts.
And once we knew, what was happening, where that was concerned, we could make
our plans for the day, because it wasn't until the Saturday morning, that the guests
would arrive, and today, was only a settling down
period, anyway, and therefore, we were more or less free, to do as we pleased.
So, I got up very early, I can't remember the time now, but after breakfast,
which started at any time you wanted, I hung about, Reception, reading, my
book: Doctor and Son, by Richard Gordon, for at least an hour, and I was then
informed by the desk, that they had officially been informed, that: The
Official Red Dwarf Fan Club, would be setting up, their table, about midday.
Actually I had discovered later, that if I had checked my original
correspondence properly, that it was indeed that time, but I am pretty sure
that it was a later time than that, and when you are fairly new to these
things, you do tend to panic, and the desk, thought one thing, while we thought
another, but we have learnt, that the next time that we go, to a Red Dwarf
Dimension Jump Convention, that it is best, to refer, to your original
correspondence, as it isn't the Hotel staff's job, to know, exactly what is
going on, where that kind of thing is concerned. So, we set off in the car, to
explore Guildford. We had a great time.
Guildford is a beautiful City, with its modern day Cathedral, but we
discovered, that you have to go outside the town to get to it, and we thought
it wouldn't be a very long walk, but we found it was at least a mile and a half
out of the town, and Paul ended up wishing that we had gone in the car, but we
got there in the end, even though the hill that led up to it, was quite steep (we're
used to walking in the hills), and we were surprised at how interesting it was
(we're not into modern architecture), but the design had been modelled on the Gothic type of Cathedral, and we were quite
impressed, at how close it came to modern architecture, and we really enjoyed
looking around the Treasury. We had to walk back into Guildford, and I asked
Paul if we could have a very quick look at the Courtyard of The Grammar School,
which was a very pretty white building, which I think went back to the fourteenth
or fifteenth century. I am not very good with dates, and I had to refer to my
scrapbook, where I had put, my Red Dwarf Dimension Jump 1995 Convention
photographs, just to remind me, when the Red Dwarf Dimension Jump 1995
Convention, actually was! So, we went back to The Ramada Hotel, Gatwick,
Crawley, West Sussex, and lo and behold, we were suddenly seeing people with
Red Dwarf 'T' shirts on! What could this mean, we thought?! Was the Red Dwarf
Dimension Jump 1995 Convention, going into action then?! It obviously meant, that we were in business! So, we went down to the
Convention rooms downstairs, and we noticed that the table was set up, and we
could hand in our Registration Receipts. We did so, and we were each handed an
A5, brown envelope, which contained, a Red Dwarf Dimension Jump 1995 Convention
booklet, and an Identity Badge. I had decided, to ask the Organizers, if anything, was happening tonight, but they stressed that we
had plenty of time, that the events were listed in our Red Dwarf Dimension Jump
1995 Convention booklets, and that the Guests, would be arriving tomorrow. This
we discovered, was the settling in period, and we were
more or less free, to get to know the other Red Dwarf Dimension Jump 1995
Attendees. So, armed with our Red Dwarf Dimension Jump 1995 Convention
booklets, we set off to the bar, to see what time we had to ourselves, before
we got involved in the events. After, I had read my Red Dwarf Dimension Jump
1995 Convention booklet, my main worry was my badge, and I was especially
worried about forgetting to pin it on my clothes, so I took the precaution of
pinning it, on to my Jodrell Bank Astronomy sweat
shirt, the night before! We discovered, that the first event was at Six '0'
clock, and there would be a video session. So, that meant,
that we had a few hours to kill, where having our evening meal, was concerned.
I have since discovered, that there, had been, a: "Curry Run", but we
saw nothing of that! But that might explain, why we had the Open-Plan
Restaurant, virtually all to ourselves! So, I had a bit of time to kill, and I
had a chat with this woman, who seemed very nice, and she told me that she had
met all the Red Dwarf cast apart from Craig, who was coming tomorrow, and she
was going to see Craig's: Live on Earth! Show, whatever that was, the following
Saturday, and she had been to see most of them do their acts round the clubs in
London, and as she was local, she said you can easily find out where they are
appearing! Hattie Hayridge came to Wolverhampton, West Midlands, with Lee Evans, last year, at
our Civic Hall. I didn't go myself, but it did have a very good write up,
indeed! Anyway, she went on to tell me, that she went to see Norman do his act
at Battersea, the other week, and that there were only seven people in total,
who turned up that night! She said that she felt ever so sorry for him, and
that they put her, and her friends round the back to start off with, and that,
they had to move them to the front, in the end! This surprised me indeed,
because I had heard that he was quite well-known, as a comedian, and he is a
regular at The Edinburgh Festival, but as I have done productions myself, and
there were only about seventeen people in the audience, it can be soul
destroying to see all those empty seats, but you have to carry on and give it
your all, anyhow! I will come back to Battersea, when I write up Norman's session, anyhow!
Another thing that concerned me, was, that Craig was going to interview the
fans, after he had done his questions and answers session, in the afternoon,
for what I assumed would be links to "The Smeg
Outs" Video. Unfortunately however, as it turned out, this didn't happen,
because the schedule overran, which was a great shame, really! It would have
been great fun! Well, being of a curious nature, and because I am a Drama
student anyway, I had a chat with the Organizers, about this, and they seemed
surprised that I had done a part-time Drama School course, at Birmingham, and
for the past two years, I have been doing a part-time Drama course, in Wolverhampton, so it was in my instincts to ask if Craig
needed any help, from somebody with a basic theatrical experience, and they
said - "Just make yourself known to the film crew, when you can".
Now, I felt a little bit disappointed, when I was informed of this. And my
immediate reaction to this, was - "Never in a million years, they will be
far to busy, to speak to the likes of me! After all,
those people are far more important, than me, and what they do, is far more
important than acting. In my general opinion, the actors are only a small cog
in the machinery, and without a film crew, the show cannot be filmed, even if
my name, was Sharon Stone! No, I could never disturb those guys, in a million
years! And even with all my knowledge of acting experience, I felt that I
couldn't approach them, just like that, because I am not an Equity card member,
and when it actually comes down to it at the end of the day, that is what
really counts, even if you have acted out every Shakespeare play, there is, in
existence! And you will always find, that there are
more than enough people, who have never heard of you! So, I walked away with a
sinking heart, but I was not to realise, until the
following day, that these things weren't quite as impossible, as I thought they
were, where that was concerned. And that the only obstacles that I thought that
I was going to encounter, were just in my mind, but you don't think like that,
at the time! And so, we watched the videos, and we saw clips of various film footage, that the cast had done over the years, which we had
never seen before. We had particularly, liked the Airport Scene, on: Craig’s:
Former: BBC1: Evening Consumer Affairs Show: Them and Us , and an excerpt, of
Craig's Stand-up Comedy act, on Stage, at Just for Laughs, at the Montreal
Comedy Festival, Montreal, Quebec, Canada. And, an excerpt, from Hattie's
Stand-up Comedy act, and Danny, appearing, as a Guest, on Spatz
(1991), etcetera. We saw a bit of footage, about the Red Dwarf Model work,
several interviews with Craig and Chris, separately of course, and various
other clips, which were far too numerous, for us to mention, of course! After
everyone else had trooped in from the bar, it was time for the opening ceremony
to begin. This consisted of the old Red Dwarf Theme (which I prefer), and the
modern theme being played, and then it was time, for the quiz night to begin,
after the Organizers had introduced themselves, to one and all. The first competition, was a chance of winning a Red Dwarf Sevans Model, and if you had a plastic Starbug
on the bottom of your chair, you won the Red Dwarf Sevans
Model! It had to be the couple behind us, who won it, didn't it?! They had the honour of winning a Red Dwarf Sevans
Model of Kryten, which I held, for a couple of
minutes, and he was really sweet, but it was still early days yet! The quiz
basically consisted of true and false answer questions. From what I recall of
that, I think it was putting your hand on your head, if the answer was true,
and doing nothing at all! And if you were wrong, you were out of the game, and
you had got to sit down, once again! We didn't last very long, where that was
concerned, either! And after that, there was a general knowledge section quiz,
which consisted of you, putting your hand up, to answer the questions, and the
more questions, that you answered, there was more of a
chance of you, winning something! And then it was time, for the Boys versus the
Girls competition, which meant, that a clip from any Red Dwarf episode, from
any Red Dwarf series, was shown, and you had got to find out exactly what line,
followed the previous line! Of course the people, who weren't selected, from
the audience, called out all of the lines, from any Red Dwarf series episode,
that was going, automatically, including all of the
cast of Red Dwarf's voices! We were really amazed, that they knew every single
line, from the show, just like that! (we just quote,
what we think, are the best lines of Red Dwarf, from time to time, without
doing the cast of Red Dwarf's voices!) Even though, I do act myself, and even
though, I can learn lines fairly quickly, I prefer to keep them in my head,
until it is time for me to rehearse, and I would feel, rather self-conscious,
if I did that, but I certainly admire, their courage, anyhow! Anyway, we
weren't selected for the Boys and Girls competition, and after the quiz was
over, we were all informed, that we could down to the Mezzanine Level, to see
the merchandise, which was on sale! This consisted of the Red Dwarf clothing.
When I had put my hand up, to answer a question, I had been referred to, as the
Lady in the Green, by Sean, which meant, that I obviously, didn't stand out,
from the crowd, because I wasn't wearing, the Red Dwarf Gear! I quite like the
Red Dwarf Gear, but it isn't really my sort of thing, I'm more interested in
the models, the books and the videos, and with regard to that, I purchased a
reduced copy of - The Last Human by Doug Naylor, and some back issues, of: The
Official Red Dwarf Fan Club’s: Fanzine: Better Than Life. There had been, a
Reproduction Tension Sheet, on display, which I regretted not buying, and Red
Dwarf mugs, and various badges, for sale, etcetera. And so, the first night, of
the Red Dwarf Dimension Jump 1995 Convention was over, and we had really learnt
a great deal about the production in just one night, and we couldn't wait until
tomorrow, to see what it would bring. We got chatting to a Mother and her
Daughter over breakfast. We never did find out who the Daughter's real name
was, especially as she had got "Yvonne McGruder"
written on her badge! We had just decided, to put our real names on the badges,
and we didn't know, that you could change your name, if you wanted to, where
that was concerned! And I had thought it quite strange, when I had seen the
comment on our registration forms - "Name, you want to put on the
badge". And we just put our own names on the registration form! We were
talking about Craig Charles and his Poetry, and the Mother informed me, that
Craig had written a lot of Political Poetry, over the years, and that he used
to appear on Pebble Mill, as a sort of resident poet (I knew about this,
because my Mother-in-law, used to watch it, and I think, that I vaguely
remember him on it, whenever I used to tune in to Pebble Mill from time to
time!), and we talked to them about our day out in Guildford, and how
interesting the Cathedral was, etcetera, etcetera. Because I had various things
to sort out in our room, i.e, getting books sorted
out for signing, notes, I had made for questions, for the Guests, etcetera, etcetera. I kept bumping into various production people in
the lift (they had badges on, with their names on), and I also said Hello to
Mel Bibby! When I was in the lift, I gasped, when I
saw a man, holding a microphone of some kind, and I automatically knew, that he
was indeed, one of the film crew! Now was my chance, I thought, to make myself
known to him! I asked him very politely, if he worked, for Grant Naylor
Productions, or the BBC, and he informed me, that he only worked Freelance,
which came as quite a surprise to me, really! And I informed him, that I had
done a part-time Drama
School course at Birmingham, and that I
was presently doing a part-time Drama course in Wolverhampton. But he stated, that he didn't
like acting, but that didn't come as a great surprise to me, really, because it
isn't his job, when it actually comes down to it, at the end of the day! And as
I have stated earlier on in, my Red Dwarf Dimension Jump 1995 Convention
Review, what they do is far more important than acting, and I don't have very
much knowledge of camera work anyway, because all the acting I have done so
far, is on stage, but that was the closest, that I had ever come to it, on that
day! And therefore, my knowledge was very limited indeed, where that was
concerned, anyway! He was obviously setting up stuff in the roof, and that
explained him being there in the lift, and when we went into the Convention
rooms, we saw them doing the positioning, which was quite interesting to watch,
but then again, that is nothing like acting, when it actually comes down to it,
at the end of the day! I did spend some time in reception, and I found myself
sitting next to an American woman, with her Family, whom I had discovered, were
from Minnesota, and I had assumed, that they had come over, for the Red Dwarf
Dimension Jump 1995 Convention, but to my surprise, I found out, that she had
never, even heard, of Red Dwarf, and that, they were part, of a Wedding Party,
whose Wedding Reception, would be, taking place, in the main Dining Room. I did
inform her, that Red Dwarf, was shown, on their Public Broadcasting Channel,
but she had said, that she could either, take PBS, or leave it! But she had stated, that she would look out, for the Red Dwarf cast,
nevertheless! I had to go back to the room for something else, and on coming
down in the lift, I found myself being asked by this woman, if we'd arrived the
other night, and I noticed her badge, and I had soon discovered, that she was:
Helen Norman! Grant Naylor Productions PA! I had had, the honour,
of making, Helen's acquaintance, on the telephone, several times, with regard,
to my enquiries, for: The Official Red Dwarf Fan Club, and I was pleased, to be
able to meet her, at last, but all, I could mumble, was yes, instead of saying
no, and that, we had originally arrived on the Thursday instead, and that we
took in Guildford, and its Cathedral! So, if you're reading this Helen, then
please accept my apologies! So, with all my trips back and forth to our room,
and been desparately worried about, having all of my
Red Dwarf books available for signing, we were now ready to settle down to the
main highlights, of the Red Dwarf Dimension Jump 1995 Convention, itself, and
the Guests, themselves. And so, without any further ado, I will set the ball
rolling and introduce:
Doug Naylor:
I will refer to him as Mr Naylor, because I tend to think of writers as that, even
though I act myself, I always think of the writers as Mr
or Mrs, and never by their first names, because they
are far more important than the actors at the end of the day, and if you didn't
have writers, then there wouldn't be any work for us actors, would there?! He
made us all aware of the fact that the BBC had commissioned two series of eight
episodes and two Christmas specials. The filming of the first was to begin in
March (I had heard through various sources since that Red Dwarf - Series VII
went into Production, on the 20th of May 1995, but then again, I am only going
by what I have heard, since the Red Dwarf Dimension Jump 1995 Convention, so I
can't be one hundred per cent sure), and the pattern would be the same for the
following series. He said that Mr Grant wasn't going
to be involved, but if he wanted to return, he was more than welcome, as he is
such a vital cog to the team, but there was talk of other writers been involved
at a later date. I asked Mr Naylor, quite a few
questions, and he informed me that he works on an Apple Mac, which certainly
surprised me, because you don't hear of them now, because the PCs have taken
over everything since they came out, but I have always remembered them as the
VERY first computers and we do have a friend who uses one, and my husband liked
it, but he said it is a bit out of our price range! He went on to say that Mr Grant used to do the typing and he went on to do it, at
a later stage, but I do understand that is the way it works, if you are writing
as a team, and especially as I am trying to be a writer myself! I did inform Mr Naylor, when he signed my books of that fact, and I told
him that I am into Science-Fiction, but I didn't tell him very much about it,
so Mr Naylor, if you are reading this, my book is
called - Going Round and Round Again, and it is about a girl who is called
Helena Cartwright, and she is a Scientist, and it is set on Earth. And when she
is on a geological expedition on Antarctica, she finds these rocks, with
magical properties, and discovers that they are a time machine, and because of
this, her Father who is, a Famous Scientist, makes them into a crystal watch,
and afterwards, she sets off on a mission to the Stone Age as a test mission,
which does not go according to plan, but then again, these things usually
don't, do they?! Mr Naylor informed us that there
would also be another script book, which is called - "Son of Soup",
and Mr Grant was working on his new book, which is
called - "Backwards". He informed us that the cast would be, as far
as he knew was - Craig Charles, Danny John-Jules, possibly Chris Barrie (I have
since heard through various sources, that Chris is only appearing in four
episodes, and that there may be a new character in it?!). He was asked about
Holly and he asked - "Which one?", and various people said -
"Both or either", and Mr Naylor's responses
were - "Yes and yes", and he was also asked about Kochanski,
and he said it may be a possibility, but they haven't really sorted anything
out yet, where that was concerned". With curiosity, I asked Mr Naylor about the quote, in - "Infinity Welcomes
Careful Drivers", with regard, to "Mimas
(Saturn), being the Worst Place, he had ever been to, and it was, even Worse,
than Wolverhampton, West Midlands!", and as I am
from Wolverhampton, West Midlands, myself, I had
wanted to know, the origin, of that remark! Mr Naylor, had informed me, that it was because Mr Grant's Brother, had been, to Wolverhampton
University! So, now I know! Just as an afterthought for Mr
Naylor, if he does read this, Birmingham, West Midlands, is the Second Worse
Place, to Mimas, Saturn, or it's probably even worse
than Mimas, Saturn, itself, as far, as I know! I
asked him about who created the "Sugar Puff Sandwiches", and he said
he couldn't remember, but again I can understand that, because as I write
myself, you soon forget your ideas after a time, as you go on to the next
project, and you haven't really got the time to remember what you wrote a year
or so ago, especially when you've thought up several hundred new plot concepts,
since then! But I do think whoever did create it deserves all the credit,
because I really do hate Sugar Puffs, and I remember my mother buying me them,
when I was twelve years old, and I couldn't finish eating up my Sugar Puffs,
let alone want second helpings! And I refused to touch them ever again, and my
Mother accused me of - "Not being normal!", because I didn't want to
eat my Sugar Puffs like all the other kids did, so therefore they were left to
rot in the cupboard, and they were forgotten for over twelve months! And when
my mother came to clear out the cupboards, she found the box of Sugar Puffs and
she said to me - "Lynne, those Sugar Puffs, have turned green! I don't
think we'll keep them any longer!". Now if that
had been Kryten's case with Lister, I think it would
have broken his heart if he'd thrown them out! Ironically, I have decided to
put this on record, because the week before, the Red Dwarf Dimension Jump 1995
Convention, I went to, my Local Supermarket, and to, my utmost, horror and
amazement, I had seen, a dazzling display of Sugar Puff boxes as a promotion
offer, and I was almost tempted to let my foot accidentally kick out, and bring
the whole lot crashing down to the floor! So, Lister if you are reading this,
please let me know if I can still live to see the next day! I did inform Mr Naylor, that my Nephew, loves
his Sugar Puffs, for breakfast, so you're not on your own! I also asked Mr Naylor about, the Theme and I asked him why they had got
rid of the original Theme, because I like it a lot more than the later one (not
that I don't like it at all, it's quite clever using, a Jazzier Theme, and it's
very good to see a different approach to it!). Mr
Naylor informed me, that they thought that the original Theme was putting
people off, because they, might take it, for a Serious
Science Fiction Series, rather than, a Science Fiction Comedy Series! I had to
tell Mr Naylor, that when I first bought The End: Red
Dwarf I, Byte I, on Video, that when I first heard the original start up Theme,
that I had thought that I had bought the wrong Video! Mr
Naylor also asked us if we didn't want Starbug in the
next series, and he thought that we all wanted it to be set on Red Dwarf, but I
did mention that I like it half and half - i.e -
Using Red Dwarf one week, and Starbug the next, and
as he asked us about our views on the Internet, and that Red Dwarf had a page,
I said if you mention the Internet on Red Dwarf, why don't you call it the Outernet, if it had reached outer space, by the twenty
third century?! Mr Naylor also mentioned the fact,
that Grant Naylor Productions, would be having their own Web site, very soon,
but as far as I know, it is still undergoing construction. So with all my
questions asked, Mr Naylor answered the other Red
Dwarf Dimension Jump 1995 Attendees questions. His replies were - "Yes,
the Cat will get his end away!". They would
change Rimmer's "H" to slimline,
to stop it from falling off his forehead. No, there wouldn't be a next
generation of Red Dwarf, he said he'd prefer to stick with the current format,
but it didn't rule out the possibility of seeing Jim and Bexley,
some time in the future. If Mr
Naylor had to end Red Dwarf, then it would have a happy ending with Lister and
the others, back on Earth. With regard to Red Dwarf U.S.A, Mr
Naylor's statement was - "Oh, it was supposed to be wonderful. We were
meant to go over to the States, and see the sights, while they got on with it.
We'd go looking around, and maybe come back once in a while to check Rimmer's "H" was on straight. As, it turned out,
everything, went wrong, there were far, too many retakes, and the Guy, they got,
in for Lister, Craig Bierko, was so, out of place (I
personally, had not, felt, that Craig Bierko, had
been, out of place, on Red Dwarf U.S.A!)! Craig Bierko,
hails from, a New York Theatrical Family, and he, had stated, in the interview,
in the Science Fiction Magazine, that he, had had, Great Fun, working on it, at
the time, but he is, definitely aware, of the fact, that he could, never ever,
surpass, Craig Charles, whom he thinks, is a Great Guy, in a Million years! And
Craig Bierko, had also, stated, in the interview, in
the Science Fiction Magazine, that he, is also, a Fan, of Red Dwarf, anyway,
and that, Robert Llewellyn, had been, Great Fun, to work, with, at the time! But I do know that the writers will
always have a different opinion from the public, as it is their Baby, and I
know that I must respect it from their point of view, but I will review Red
Dwarf U.S.A, at a later point, anyway. “Well, it had been, like trying, to
imagine: Craig Charles, in Baywatch! Eventually we did a rewrite, and showed it
to everyone but the producers who didn't want to go with it. It went to vote
and it was decided that we'd do that one, but they wouldn't allow us to
rehearse it! We wound up, shooting it, in a Garage somewhere, after the
Producer, was sacked". With a smile, on his face, Mr
Naylor, had admitted, that it, had all, been down, to him, that we, had seen, a
Sexy Female, in the role, of the Cat! On a concluding note, Mr
Naylor said that the next series of Red Dwarf would be set on Starbug, but there would be future series set on Red Dwarf,
even though the old sets had been destroyed, but when Mel Bibby
confirmed otherwise, he said yes they could well have been. I have heard since,
that the Starbug interior sets had to be re-built, in
the end, anyway, because they had been left, far too long, for them to be
touched up, once more, but I had thought, that, the brand new sets, on Red
Dwarf VII, had looked, very much, like the old sets, and I could not, tell the
difference, anyway! He then went on to say that he preferred the enclosed space
of Starbug to the huge expanse of Red Dwarf as it
allowed for better character interaction. "Red Dwarf was never going to be
that huge, he told us. "We only, did it, that
big, to make, the Cat Evolution Tale, plausible". Mr
Naylor was also asked if Red Dwarf would ever end and his answer to that was -
"As soon as we're short of stories, then I will
stop writing Red Dwarf. At the moment, I think we have plenty of time to
go". So, with Mr Naylor's time up, it was time
for a coffee, and afterwards, it was Craig's bit. From now on, I will refer to
the actors by their first names, as I act myself, you
find that you are on a first name basis with everybody…
Craig Charles:
We found, that we managed
to get a seat, fairly close to the front, and to our surprise, we noticed that
there, had been, some Leaflets, on them, promoting: Craig's: Live on Earth! Show, which was to be held at The Duke of York Theatre in London.
We didn't go to that, but I have since bought the Video, and I really enjoyed
it, and quite surprisingly, he used most of the Material, he used at the Red
Dwarf Dimension Jump 1995 Convention, so it made up for "The Smeg Outs" Video, being cut, anyhow! He came in,
wearing Denims (which I will class as smart, compared to Dave Lister's
Wardrobe!), a Flashing Baseball Cap, those silly
dreadlocks (which I'm afraid I don't like! Sorry Craig!), and those sunglasses,
he wears in - Timeslides: Episode V, Red Dwarf III (I
prefer those others he wears, when he does his presenting). He said -
"Hello", to us all in that posh voice that he uses, and he asked us,
if we liked his hat, and everybody apart from me, said - "Yes!". I shouted out - "No!".
(I didn't think, that the hat suited him!) Now, I
didn't think that he would hear me say no, in a million years! But he did,
because his response to that was - "Right! Who said no?!".
I had to admit, that he took it very well, but I froze in my chair with shock
anyway, and I didn't own up! I think he's probably worked it out, since! For I
have heard it quoted since, in: The Official Red Dwarf Fan Club's: Fanzine:
Better Than Life, that he said to Sean in the Bar, afterwards - "I don't
think my hat went down very well!". Well I've
owned up then, since Craig, so maybe you can work out a way, to have your
revenge, when you feel, that the time is right! Well without any further ado,
he went on to entertain us, with a few risque jokes,
which he used for his: Live on Earth! Show. He said
that we all seemed very quiet, and he picked up the pens on the table, and
tapped them on the glasses, as if they were a drum kit! He asked, if there were
any Liverpudlian's in the audience, which quite
surprisingly, there weren't, any Liverpudlian's, in
the audience, anyhow! But there was a Welsh girl there, though! And he spilt
his lemonade for a laugh as well! It was really quite funny! I liked Craig's
remarks about Religion: "If Jesus was Jewish, why did he have a Mexican
name?!, and if Adam and Eve, weren't married. What
does that make us?!". I remembered that, from:
The Craig Charles Almanac of General Knowledge. Craig said that he likes to
have his holidays in Greece,
when he can - "Because nobody recognises me
there! And I have a great time!". So, that must
mean, that Red Dwarf isn't popular, there then, which is quite surprising,
really! I have been to Crete with my Father
and a friend, in 1984, but it was far too hot for my liking, even though the
people are very friendly, but I just cannot stand the heat, because of my fair
complexion. Why, I can't stand the Summer's, we have
in this country, when it actually comes down to it, at the end of the day! And Craig, had made fun, of the Press, carrying on, about his
time, in Jail. I am going to get my point of view across about what I think of
his situation. As a Drama Student, I really, do feel,
that I must, do this. Craig had actually, summed it up, in one sentence -
"If I hadn't been a so-called Celebrity. It wouldn't have even gone to
Court". That is absolutely correct. The Justice System, in this Country,
has had, it in, for most People, who are Artistic, over the years. You only
have to read about Oscar Wilde, and the fact that most Political Prisoners in
the Former Soviet Union, are Artistic! It seems to my
mind, that you are regarded as some kind of Hippie, by People, in Authority,
for "Being Artistic!". In fact, I am
frightened to tell a lot of People, that I am a Drama Student, in case I get
looked down upon, and that does tend to happen, because People, do not
understand, just how stressful, the Acting Profession, can be, at times, and
they, never will, either! And, I am fully aware, that Craig, had written, a
great deal, of his Material, for his: Live on Earth! Show, when he had been, on
Remand, in Jail, at the time. And, I really, did feel, that had been, very admirable,
of him, indeed, under such, very trying circumstances! And, I am fully aware,
of the fact, that some, of the very best Material, can be written, especially
when, people, are incarcerated, especially: John Bunyan, with his: Pilgrims
Progress! And, I really, did feel, that the way, that Craig, had been treated,
by the Judicial System, of this Country, at the time, had been, a Personal
insult, to People, who are, of an Artistic Nature! And also, in my mind, I am
afraid, that it had, made me, feel very bitter, indeed, at the time, when the
Judge, who had seen, Craig, and his co-defendant: John Peploe,
at their Magistrates Court Hearing, had informed them, both - "I think
that, for somebody, in your Position, that it is, a Positive disgrace, that
you, have behaved, in this Fashion. And, I am going, to lock you up, to set an
Example”…
Red Dwarf
Dimension Jump 1995 Convention Review Continuums.......
Marie Birch
April 1997