THE MEN FROM THE MINISTRY
PLOT SUMMARIES
OF THE SCRIPTS
BY MARIE BIRCH
So, without any further ado, this is my
Website, for: The Men From The Ministry Plot Summaries
of the Scripts.
It will start as follows:
The Big Rocket
Those dedicated civil servants
Lamb and Lennox Brown in the General Assistants Department, have been given the
responsibility of sorting out any important bulletins for Britain's space
programme, which are incidentally, very few and far between, when it actually
comes down to it, at the end of the day! Until one afternoon, they fall out
with their ever trustworthy secretary Mildred Mervin who leaves them a note,
which kindly informs them, that she won't be coming back to the office, and if
they want to apologise for their rudeness, she will be at her "Ma's",
for the rest of the afternoon! Unfortunately for everybody concerned, it turns
out that the man who is responsible for looking after the bulletins, finds
Mildred's note to her employers, informing them of her whereabouts, but as the
man is slightly lacking in the intelligence department, he misinterprets
Mildred's note in a very embarrassing way, and he assumes, that she is off to
the Planet "Mars", for the afternoon! But unfortunately however, by
the time that Lamb and Lennox Brown return, from their lunch break, it is too
late for Britain's Space Bureau, Mildred's message becomes Public Knowledge,
and it appears, that everybody's jobs are on the line, including the Permanent
Under Secretary, Sir Gregory Pitkin's! Fortunately however, all is not lost,
and Britain's Space Bureau does have some resources, it seems. Can they bring
Mildred down to Earth before it is too late? Before everybody is in for a Big Rocket?!
Something About A Soldier
It is about high time that the
office of action, well the General Assistants Department in Whitehall was redecorated, in fact it has been about high time for the
office to be redecorated for the best part of forty years by now! The
decorating of the office doesn't seem to meet with Lennox Brown and Lamb's
expectations though, because it seems that Sir Gregory Pitkin has taken it upon
himself to hire an avant garde
interior decorator to bring the office bang right up to date, to the mid
1960's! And instead of the usual repaint of the dynamic military brown, it
looks like the two civil servants will have to suffer bright orange walls and
other nightmarish and gaudily brightly striped colours of that period. And
worse still, they may even have to sit on swinging whicker
basket seats! But the two hapless Civil Servants, seem determined, to make
their point to Sir Gregory, who incidentally is not having his own office
redecorated in an avant garde
manner, one might be delighted to know, and they make the point of shifting the
file cabinet, which also hasn't been cleaned behind, for probably the best part
of forty years, to compare the original shade of military brown and by the time
that they have shifted the cabinet in question, it is definitely confirmed that
the cleaners haven't been doing their duty, because Lennox Brown and Lamb, come
across a memo, requesting the demobilisation of an Army Unit, who are situated
in an area in Wales, known as Llanryn Goch? Lennox Brown and Lamb seem rather concerned, because
their instincts tell them that the memo in question,
has been underneath the filing cabinet since 1945! Lamb and Lennox Brown are
rather concerned about this, and on the weekend, they decide to take a trip to Llanryn Gog to reassure themselves, especially as their
secretary Mildred Mervin has made a point of checking the basement downstairs
and she is rather concerned, that there is an adequate supply of demobilisation
suits for an army unit, which are double breasted! But they are forever hopeful
that the unit in question was demobilised at the time, and that the memo just
wasn't filed correctly. Unfortunately however, their hopes are soon dashed,
because we soon find out that the army unit in question is still based at Llanryn Gog, especially as the strains of "We'll Meet
Again", can be heard playing on the gramophone! However, our brave boys
will be pleased to know, when they are eventually demobilised, that good old
Vera Lynn, is still around! However, the Sergent
Major and his aide can't understand why the boys seem to be very down in the
mouth, especially as there hasn't been very much action, since 1943! And when
there is, some action, it seems that the "Enemy Aircraft" seem to be
flying overhead, a lot faster, these days! But nethertheless,
the Sergent Major and his aide, are determined to do
whatever it takes to raise morale, amongst the lads, once again! But the Men From The Ministry are on their way. They weren't very
comfortable on the train though, and they aren't exactly looking forward to the
rest of the journey to the camp either, which seems to be situated through
several miles of boggy marshland, and quite surprisingly, there isn't a village
or town, for about the best part of forty miles, either! It also doesn't help
matters that Lamb and Lennox Brown have to put up with some German Bird
watchers, who are looking for the "Great Crested Grebe?", but
hopefully Lamb and Lennox Brown won't have to put up with the bird watchers,
for very much longer, or so they think anyway! They finally make it to the
camp, and yes, the journey over the marshland has not been a very comfortable
journey for them either, but they got there in the end, thanks to the man on
the marshland who gave them a lift in his horse and cart. However, as the
Sergeant Major and his aide haven't had anybody come to the camp since 1943,
and it didn't really help when they lost radio contact with the base, round
about that time, it seems that they are a little bit flustered, not to mention,
a little bit cracked up, as they do seem to have got a little bit used to been
on their own, to a certain extent, and at first, they think that they are Nazi
paratroopers, but after they have been interrogated by the Sergeant Major and
his aide, and once they have told them how up they are on cricket and that they
would apologise if a lady kissed them passionately, the Sergeant Major and his
aide definitely realise that they are British, once and for all, and they
assume that they have come from Whitehall, especially as they are dressed up in
suits and bowler hats, and that they have come to replenish their stocks of
bully beef, which seem to have become a little bit low over the years, which
isn't at all surprising, really! Lamb and Lennox Brown realise that they have
got to break the news very gently, even though it looks like double breasted
suits may be coming back into fashion, once more, but that is besides the
point, isn't it?! However, once Lamb and Lennox Brown inform the Sergeant Major
and his aide, that there hasn't been any fighting for such a long time now, and
there is the little matter that the war has been over for the best part of
twenty years, the Sergent Major and his aide think
that Lamb and Lennox Brown are Fifth Columnists, who have been brain washed by
Nazi propaganda and as they are considered something of a security risk, it is
probably for the best, if they are tied up and locked up in the Supply Room.
But it seems that Lamb and Lennox Brown have got more important things to worry
about, especially as the troop of German Bird watchers, who they encountered on
the train on the way up to the camp, have by sheer co-incidence, managed to
locate the "Great Crested Grebe", right in the vicinity of the camp
itself, and the Sergent and his aide, are somewhat
concerned about the troops German accents, and their camouflaged get-up, that
they think that it is time to put the great big artillery gun to some use,
especially as it, hasn't been used, since 1943! Fortunately however, Lamb and
Lennox Brown needn't have worried, because they put some bully beef down the
gun carriage, just in case the Sergent Major and his
aide, got carried away, but it seems that the visit of the two men in their
bowler hats and umbrellas from Whitehall, has made it's
mark, because the whole unit, starts marching out of the camp, whistling
Colonel Bogey. Once they are back at Whitehall, however, Lamb and Lennox Brown
have to face Sir Gregory Pitkin's wrath, and that they are in a lot of trouble,
and somebody has got to answer for those poor men, thinking that the war is
still on. And their secretary Mildred Mervin has reason to be concerned,
because as she is a bit of a good time girl herself, she feels that those poor men, have missed the best years of her life! But Sir Gregory
is furious about that memo turning up after all these years, especially after
it was authorised by this department, but Lamb and Lennox Brown insist that
they weren't responsible for the department, during 1943. And just who was exactly
responsible for the department, during 1943? And therefore, the memo is
inspected a little bit more closely, by Lamb and Lennox Brown, and it actually
turns out that the memo, was authorised by a Mr
Gregory Pitkin himself! Without any further ado, Sir Gregory, thinks that it is
probably for the best, if they are not too hasty about pinning the blame on
somebody, when all is said and done, and it is probably for the best, if they
were to forget the whole thing. And besides, it seems that the boys have been
awarded compensation and have decided to set up a holiday camp at their former
army base at Llanryn Gog, because it seems that there
has been nothing left for them, after their demobilisation, so it seems that it
is probably for the best, and after all, they still have got good old Vera Lynn
to listen to on some updated stereo equipment, which they can probably play to
the campers, if they so wish......
A Slight Case Of Demolition
(The Penny House and Sir
Gregory's brand new: House)
Bye, Bye Mildred
(Mildred leaves for a better job
at a Strawberry Company)
Bare Necessities
(Nudist Camp)
Rolling In It
(Petty Cash Fiasco)
The Conference Trick
(The Conference all about
purchasing, the Planet Venus, and not been able to afford it, because Sir
Gregory, had informed them, that they can barely afford, to send trains, to
Birmingham!)
A Private Affair
(The Soldier stuck out in the
middle of nowhere, starring Clive Dunn)
"There'll Be Blue Birds Over The White Cliffs Of Dover" can be heard playing,
on the Gramophone. However, our brave boys will be pleased to know, when they
are eventually demobilised, that good old Vera Lynn, is still around! But can
one be sure: "That the Shepherd will watch his sheep?!", if he is
lucky, that is! Especially where the Foot and Mouth Crisis, which had gone on,
during 2001, had been concerned, anyhow!
Additional Note: I am fully aware, that these
notes, do not make much sense, with regard to the rest
of the Plot Summaries of the Scripts, for the Men From The Ministry Audio
Cassettes. But this brief guide, is mainly, for my own
reference, so I basically know, what the episodes are all about, before I
eventually find, the time to do, the Official Plot Summaries of the Scripts,
for the rest of them. Sincere apologies for any
inconvenience, caused by this, in the meantime, however, anyhow.
MARIE BIRCH
PAGE LAST UPDATED: 28TH MAY 2003
MORE UPDATES COMING SOON!