THE MAID MARIAN AND HER MERRY MEN:
PLOT SUMMARIES
OF THE SCRIPTS WEBSITE
So, without any further ado, this is my Website, for The Maid Marian
Plot Summaries, of the Scripts. It will start, as follows:
Note: The
First Three Episode Plot Summaries, had been, copied, off the Video: MAID
MARIAN AND HER MERRY MEN: HOW THE BAND GOT TOGETHER.
It's a
little known fact that Robin Hood was complete wimp who took all the credit for
the grit in Maid Marian's guts. It was, in fact, she who assembled and fought
oppression with a bunch of prats, known as: The Merry
Men - a Dwarf called Little Ron, a Rastafarian, an
ugly dolt by the name of Rabies and a Yuppie called Robin of Kensington. Doing
incredibly brave things like piercing their ears and rescuing tadpoles, Marian
and her men combat the cruelty of a mad bad King called John and his villainous
Sheriff of Nottingham.
HOW THE BAND GOT TOGETHER
A
water-fight with the Sherriff of Nottingham, turns a cross little girlie-wirlie into Marian, leader of men - well, a band of idiots
with bows and arrows and their own costumes!
ROBERT THE INCREDIBLE CHICKEN
The World
Archery Championships give complete coward Robin a chance to prove himself and
the King a chance to trap him. A cunning disguise is called for... enter Robert
the Incredible Chicken.
A GAME CALLED JOHN
The King
wants to be famous so the Sheriff invents a fabulous new game with coloured balls, trouser pockets, two sticks and a piece of
chalk. Meanwhile, trendy tailor Robin gives the Merry Men a new look.
Note: All
six episodes of Series I have been released by BBC video on two tapes: How The Band Got Together containing episodes one, two and
three, and The Miracle Of St Charlene, containing episodes four, five and six.
These are, the only Episodes, of Maid Marian and Her Merry Men, that are,
available, on Video.
Note: All
the Maid Marian and Her Merry Men Plot Summaries of The Scripts were originally
off Barrington's Maid Marian Website and have been copied on to this web page
and I will be updating them, from now on.
MARIE
BIRCH
SERIES ONE (1989)
1.
HOW THE BAND GOT TOGETHER (originally broadcast: November 16th 1989)
The honest
people of Worksop have long been menaced by the villianous King John and the Sheriff of Nottingham. A young
maid named Marian has had enough - she's going to form a band of ruthless
guerilla fighters to overthrow their menace. This is the story of how the Merry
Men were recruited: the story of Barrington the Rasta, Rabies the wally, Little Ron the violent, and the cowardly but
soon-to-be famous Robin of Kensington..
With
Lionel Taylor as the GATEKEEPER
Songs: Mud
Best
Lines:
MARIAN:
Look, I don't want to be rude Mr Ron, but it's a very
large bridge and frankly, you're not exactly massive, are you?!
KING JOHN:
I will do such disgusting things to you, that even the torturers will go "urrrgh", and ask to leave the room!
ROBIN:
Yes! You will be imprisoned, tortured, and what is more... see! I set fire to
your underpants!
2.
ROBERT THE INCREDIBLE CHICKEN (originally broadcast: November 23rd 1989)
King John
is not pleased that he has been hung up in his own torture chamber, and now
he's ready for revenge. But when the Sheriff, Gary and Graeme, out stalking
bushes, are scared out of their wits by what they believe is a stunning piece
of trick archery by the great Robin Hood, the King has a plan to lure Robin
into a trap.
With Alan
McMahon as CLOUGH and Kellie Bright as the LITTLE GIRL
Songs: The Story
so Far
Best
Lines:
MARIAN:
"Can't", Robin? There's no such word as "can't", is there?
RABIES:
Yes there is!
SHERRIFF:
Cut his head off.
GARY: But
I haven't any scissors!
SHERRIFF
Use your sword!
GARY: Ah.
MARIAN:
One word from me, and my highly trained team of
commandos - face the front please, Little Ron! - will bury two feet of very
sharp wood into your scrawny bodies.
RABIES:
And fire arrows at you!
3.
A GAME CALLED JOHN (broadcast November 30th 1989)
Even the
festivities of Pancake Day can't cheer up King John when he realises
that his subjects don't recognise him. The Sheriff is
convinced that naming a new game after him is the only way to ensure his fame.
Robin, meanwhile, is still trying to convince Marian that the Merry Men need
new uniforms. Can these two plot threads possibly be related.
With
Kellie Bright as the LITTLE GIRL
Songs: Pancake
Day
Best
Lines:
SHERRIFF:
I think it's Pancake Day, yes it's Pancake Day, it
must be Pa-Pa-Pa-Pa-Pa-Pa-Pa-Pa-Pancake Day!
KING JOHN:
King is my first name!
ROBIN:
They thought that we were Morris Men! I hate Morris Men!
BARRINGTON:
Yeah, they're like clowns without the funny bits.
4.
THE MIRACLE OF ST CHARLENE (broadcast December 7th 1989)
King
John's rich Uncle has died, leaving him only a hot water bottle - which he
orders the Sherriff, to sell for fifty gold pieces - no easy task when, even if
you can convince them it's a holy relic, the only
thing the peasants have fifty pieces of is mud. And the Merry Men have their
work cut out for them if they're going to steal it - because first, they need
to cross the river...
WITH
Kellie Bright as the LITTLE GIRL
Songs: Gotta Get Across
GRAEME:
I'm sure it's a tortoise!
GARY:
Great! What shall we call it!
GRAEME:
How about... Mansell? That's a good name for a tortoise!
MARIAN:
What do you mean you ran out of wood? What's this?
ROBIN:
Um... a forest.
MARIAN: So
where do we get more wood from?
ROBIN: A
wood shop?
MARIAN:
Why not try trees Robin?
ROBIN:
'Cause you said twenty: you said "fetch twenty sturdy pine trees" and
we used them all up!
MARIAN: I
just meant twenty-ish, it's the words of a song for
goodness' sake!
5.
THE SHARP END OF A COW (broadcast December 14th 1989)
King John
is less than impressed with the Sheriff's performance. Not only are Robin Hood
and his Merry band of freedom fighters still fighting
free, but Robin and the Men have become incredibly popular with the peasants!
John decides the Sheriff's for the sack and heads out to find Hood himself.
Luckily, Robin has just devised a new method for the Men to alert each other of
the danger, which is a great idea even if Marian can't see it; and they're
going to need it, because the Sheriff, in a desperate bid to get his job back,
has gone undercover...
Songs: Popular
Best
Lines:
KING JOHN:
You're as much use as a cheeseburger to a drowning elephant!
ROBIN'S
sign, the last line of defence at Merry Men
headquarters:
Hello.
This is Robin Hood. I'm afraid the Merry Men aren't available to speak to you right
now, but if you'd like to leave a message, we'll call you back as soon as we
can.
6.
THE WHITISH KNIGHT (broadcast December 21st 1989)
A
mysterious knight clad in white (or at least a sort of creamy-beigy colour) has been sighted
across the country. King John has received a postcard from his brother Richard
with news of an impending visit. Are the two connected? Could it be that
Richard has returned and that England's woes are at an end? Well
of course not, don't be stupid, there wouldn't be any scope for the next three
series if that happened...
With Reg Harding as the HORSEMAN and Forbes Collins as KING
RICHARD
Titles: As normal, accompanied by "The White Knight" song,
reading "6. The White Knight", the title is repeated after
the Men re-christen him the Whitish Knight, with "ish"
hand-drawn after "White".
Songs: The
White Knight
Best
Lines:
SINGERS:
"Ooh-ooh, the White Knight".
ROBIN:
Hang on, hang on, he's not white!... He's a sort of
creamy-beigy colour.
LITTLE
RON: Yeah! "The Creamy-Beigy
Knight".
MARIAN:
You can't call him the Creamy-Beigy Knight, it's ridiculous!
ROBIN: You
certainly can't call him the White Knight, it's a zonking great fibberoonie.
MARIAN:
Well what can we call him then?
LITTLE
RON: The Whitish Knight.
MARIAN:
Hmmm...okay. Now let's get on!
SINGERS:
"Ooh-ooh, the Whitish Knight.
SERIES TWO (1990)
1.
THE BEAST OF BOLSOVER (broadcast November 15th 1990)
Sherwood
is the Merry Men's forest, Everyone knows that.
Barrington even wrote his name on one of the leaves just the other day... but
you try telling that to the Beast of Bolsover and his two sidekicks! They've
come to Sherwood and they're not leaving - and that means they're kicking out
the Merry Men and taking over their hideout! Things look grim, but a
well-placed blow with a frying-pan gives the Sheriff a nasty headache - and
Marian a plan.
With Kerry
Potter as NETTLE, Marcus Eyre as the BEAST OF BOLSOVER, Phillip Neve as the NUISANCE OF NUNEATON, and John Dallimore as WEASEL
Songs: Ambush!
Best
Lines:
BEAST: I'd
get a better licking from a squashed wombat! [and many
other truly awful mock-Australian phrases]
MARIAN:
Robin, do you ever listen to what your mouth's saying or do you just let it
flap up and down on it's
own?
ROBIN:
Well...
2.
THE WORKSOP EGG FAIRY (broadcast November 22nd 1990)
King John
wants an egg - and, as luck, would have it, the fabled Worksop
Egg Fairy has just delivered one under the town's chicken. The Merry Men's
rescue mission doesn't quite go as planned, however, and it seems that the only
way to give the villagers of Worksop eggs is to save
them from their own stupidity. But that's not an easy task when you're talking
about people who believe that at the end of the rainbow there's a volcano
spewing forth mauve custard...
Songs: What is
Happening Here?; Bop for an Egg
Best
Lines:
SHERIFF:
Gary, what's this?
GARY: A
belt?
SHERIFF:
[holds belt higher] And what's this?
GARY: Er... belt up?
SHERIFF:
Correct!
ROBIN:
Fetch pipes, fetch drums, fashion musical instruments from the shoulderblade of a pig and the stomach-lining of a water-voles; we're going to get down to some really bad
sounds!
3.
LITTLE BROWN NOSES (broadcast November 29th 1990)
The
Sheriff is cracking down on crime - and he's nicked Colin, Worksop's
chicken, for illegal parking! Robin thinks that they should pay the fine, but
will their charity concert raise enough money? And what will the King's sister
do to John with a pencil if he doesn't look after his nephew, Guy of Gisborne?
With Kerry
Potter as NETTLE and Dale Shoulders as YOUNG SNOOKER
Titles:
The End Titles, are scrolled over the Villagers
rejoicing at Colin's return, accompanied not by the Theme, but by
Colin's release Song.
Songs: Against
the Law; Colin's Release Song
Best
Lines:
GLADYS:
Have you got a chicken up your doublet?
SHERIFF:
No.
GLADYS:
You have! That's my Colin! What's she doing up your doublet?
SHERIFF:
[takes a look] I'd rather not say if you don't mind!
4.
RABIES IN LOVE (broadcast December 6th 1990)
Rabies is
the perfect advertisement for Marian's aerobics classes, easily beating
all-comers at arm wrestling. But then Fergi arrives
and Rabies is besotted with the strongest woman he's ever seen. But just when
they hit upon a plan to bring his mind down from "higher things",
they discover that Fergi won't be available for a
blind date - because the King is going to get rid of Guy by marrying him off to
her. But perhaps that's just as well; I mean, who needs all that sickening love
stuff anyway?
With Kerry
Potter as NETTLE, Jelena Budimic
as FERGI, John Rapley as SIR WALTER FERGUSON, and
Sophie Reissner as MARGARET THE THATCHER
Titles:
The titles, decorated with Valentine's hearts and lace are shown over a
film-clip like montage of Rabies rolling in flowers, etc, accompanied by
"Rabies In Love".
Songs: Rabies In Love; Wedding Today
Best
Lines:
Rabies'
Love Poem, pinned to the trees Orlando style: "Darling
darling Fergi, I can't find the worgy,
To say how much I lurgy".
5.
ROTTON ROSE: PART ONE (broadcast December 13th 1990)
Robin has
become a mega-star - all the girls of Worksop have
their eye on him, and none more so than Marian's old schoolmate Rose Scargill. After tricking Marian into letting her visit the
Merry Men hideout, and nicking a sackful of Robin's
personal effects, Rose discovers that the Sheriff would only too gladly remove
Robin's head if he caught him. Thus begins a twisted and insane plan, and
before it's over, Robin will be languishing in a dungeon believing Marian is a
traitor...
With Kerry
Potter as NETTLE, Lorraine Parslow as COWPAT, and
Alan McMahon as CLOUGH
Titles:
Decorated with Rose buds.
Songs: Robin
Hood; Song from Guy (i)
Best
Lines:
ROBIN'S
FANS: [singing] Oh how I wish I could, do something, do something good - with
Robin Hood.
ROBIN:
Something terrible's happened to my bottom!
KING JOHN:
Robin Hood, Robin Hood, that's all I ever hear; I don't want much out of life:
Robin Hood dead, my nephew off my hands, and a national anthem with a little
bit of go in it; it's not much to ask, but do I get it? No way!
6.
ROTTON ROSE: PART TWO (broadcast December 20th 1990)
It's
almost time for Robin and Marian to get the chop. Will Marian save them from
Rose? Will Robin work out what's going on? Unfortunately, it looks like the
Merry Men will have to come up with a plan by themselves and that doesn't bode
well for Marian and Robin... And look out girls, because Robin Hood appears in
this episode, clad only in his green underpants!
With Kerry
Potter as NETTLE
Titles:
Again decorated with rosebuds. Shown at the end of
"Rotten Rose", which is accompanied by clips of Part One.
Songs: Rotten
Rose; Song From Guy (ii)
Best
Lines:
SHERIFF: I
want this place as spotless as a skin-care advertisement - otherwise I'll chop
you into a rather easy two-piece jigsaw!
MARIAN: So
you made a mistake, Robin - so did I! No-one ever said
fighting injustice'd be easy. They've got the power,
they've got the weapons, and all we've got is a Rasta, a wally, and a bearded avocado!
SERIES THREE (1993)
1.
THE BIG BABY (broadcast January 7th 1993)
While the
Merry Men are trying to explain to Rabies that Barrington is merely doing
impressions of the King and the Sheriff and has not actually swallowed them,
King John has decided it's time people paid respect to their monarch and gave
him presents. But the life-size jelly baby in his image is captured by the
Merry Men, so the Sheriff needs some other gifts fast. He soon hatches a plan
involving a new holiday, the King, and a lot of stupid peasants to ensure His
Majesty is showered with gifts.
With John Dallimore as WEASEL
Titles:
King John yells "Guards! Where are the titles?" Gary and Graeme hold
them up on parchment reading them: "Maid Marian and Her Merry Men, your
Majesty". "By Tony Robinson, your
Majesty". Gary brings the episode title out back-to-front. "The
Big..." "You've got it back to front!" King John takes it and
reads it himself.
Songs: Father Bloopy; Don't Worry 'Bout the Pain
Best
Lines:
ROBIN:
Wait until I tell Marian - she'll be as excited as a Policeman, with two
truncheons!
GARY:
Halt! Who goes there Marian?
2.
DRIVING AMBITION (broadcast January 14th 1993)
Life is dead
boring in Worksop; this week's highlight is the Grade
A mud-throwing, followed by the reserves. But the one talent possessed by the
villagers - singing - has been completely ignored, and so Marian plans a Song
for Worksop competition. The competition is soon
hi-jacked by Rose, and the Sheriff too; he needs money
to bribe the King's driving instructor, and Guy has bet a thousand gold pieces
that he won't win the contest. Of course, Barrington knows that he could win
doing a duet, but with Rose running the show?! Both sides soon hit upon a plan
to provide the panel with bent judges...
Songs: Take
Action; A Friend Like Rose
Best
Lines:
MARIAN:
Barrington, would you mind not bursting into song every time I talk to you?
This is the Worksop highroad, not Sesame Street!
KING JOHN:
"Name eight places where it is dangerous to park. "Um
- oh, what a stupid question! In a tank full of piranha fish,
under the backside of an elephant...
3.
KEEPING MUM (broadcast January 21st 1993)
Marian's
Mum is coming to visit, but there's a slight problem - she thinks Marian's a
dental receptionist! The Men offer to pose as dentists for her, and the ruse
works. The Sherrif, however, sees only one thing in
Marian's Mum (apart from her cardigan) - the perfect bait with which to capture
Marian.
With Patsy
Byrne as MARIAN'S MUM
Songs: Pierced;
Call the Dentists
Best
Lines:
SHERIFF:
[chatting up MARIAN'S MUM] 46! 'Tis a miracle! Such smooth skin, such flaxen hair, such a nice
cardigan...
SHERIFF:
(singing) You shot the Sheriff and the Sheriff doesn't
care...
4.
THEY CAME FROM OUTER SPACE (broadcast January 28th 1993)
When a
blazing fireball flies through the sky, the villagers and the Men start
wondering about life beyond the stars, Guy says he has an invisible friend
named Plop-bop, and King John is suddenly frightened of invasion by space
carriage. As a result, the Sheriff is ordered to raise money for a protective
net, but all that's left to take from the peasants are their clothes... so
Marian decides that aliens might just come to the castle after all.
With Carly Britnell as HAYLEY and
Nathalie Bennion as HAYLEY'S MUM
Titles:
Purple grows throught main title and writer credit,
accompanied by video game sound effects: the episode title is written in a
suitably "alien" font.
Songs: Only Child;
Naked to the Visible Eye
Best
Lines:
KING JOHN:
But they're rags!
SHERIFF:
That's right, it's their uniform. If they wore fur coats and high heels you
wouldn't know they were peasants!
KING JOHN:
I gave it all to the Royal Society for the Prevention of Animals.
SHERIFF:
Didn't you miss the "cruelty", my Lord?
KING JOHN:
Yes of course I missed it, that's why I gave them all my
jumble!
MARIAN:
Wow! What a fantastic sense of rhythm you've all got!
HAYLEY:
It's the hundreds of years of oppression you see.
5.
ROBIN AND THE BEANSPROUT (broadcast February 4th 1993)
Marian has
had enough of Robin's excuses, based as they are on last night's bedtime
stories. He's got to return with dinner for the men or else! Robin sets out
with only a solitary beansprout for company, but soon
miraculous events and fortuitous circumstances enable him to boldy go where no man has gone before - and return with
several massive platefuls of takeaway Chinese food.
Titles:
The Men read them during their opening song (see the song for details).
Songs: I Wish
they'd put their Heads Outside; Chop Suey
Best
Lines:
SNOOKER:
You've melted my heart, dissolved my kidneys, and lubricated my lower
intestines!
SHERIFF:
I'm not a Fan of Chinese food. You know what they say; you eat a Chinese meal,
and two hours later, you throw up.
6.
THE GREAT MUD HARVEST (broadcast February 11th 1993)
The last
of Worksop's valuables have been taxed by the King,
and as such, the Sheriff is made redundant - unless he can find, some more
riches to plunder from the villagers. Meanwhile, Marian is frustrated as her
famine relief does nothing to cheer up the peasants, while Robin infuriatingly
keeps them happy singing about his new white suit. But can he keep it clean?
Titles:
Written in the mud.
Songs: White
Suit
Best
Lines:
BARRINGTON:
[on seeing ROBIN in his suit] It's Robin of Sherbert!
MAID MARIAN AND HER MERRY MEN
CHRISTMAS SPECIAL
MAID
MARIAN AND MUCH THE MINI MART MANAGERS SON (broadcast December 24th 1993)
Originally
a 50 minute episode, but it was broadcast in two parts, which was probably due
to the BBC not been able to devote the airing time, because of the Christmas
schedules. For more information with regard to that, please see below:
MARIE
BIRCH
The
Christmas special was scheduled for and filmed in 1992, but not bradcast until Christmas Eve 1993. Details are scarce, but
the plot centred around
Marian falling in love with the Manager's son of the title, who was trying to
manipulate her as well as Rose Scargill. This special
episode was originally 50 minutes long, but it was broadcast in two parts,
which was probably due to the BBC not been able to devote the airing time,
because of the Christmas schedules. But I will definitely have to look into
this at a later date, as I am not entirely certain of that, anyhow. But when
the Christmas special was repeated during the Autumn
of 1995, along with Series Three and Series Four. But the Christmas special was
definitely repeated in two parts, anyway. And I intend to write up a proper
episode summary of the Christmas special of Maid Marian and Her Merry Men, as
soon as it is possible for me to do so, anyhow!
MARIE
BIRCH
Songs: Much,
Much, the Mini Mart Managers Son; Deception
Watch this
space for more details soon...
SERIES FOUR (1994)
1.
TUNNEL VISION (broadcast January 5th 1994)
(Co-written
by David Lloyd and Mark Billingham)
Gaming has
come to Sherwood! The men are playing "Chronic the Hedgehog" and
Robin's right into Dungeons and Dragons, even if Marian doesn't play by the
rules (must be something to do with the new haircut...). Meanwhile Rose has
kidnapped Guy, and the Sheriff has to convince Queen Eleanor that Guy's been
enjoying himself...
Songs: Double
Trouble
Best
Lines:
GARY: It's
this ground. It's harder than a GCSE Maths paper
written backwards in Japanese!
2.
BOUNCY SHERIFF (broadcast January 12th 1994)
Guy has
filled the castle with his useless toys, and the King wants the Sheriff to get
rid of them - under threat of being turned into an inflatable bouncy Sheriff
for Guy's enjoyment. Meanwhile, Marian has had enough of the Men's sexist
attitudes, and is leaving. Against her better judgement,
she takes a job with Rose selling shoddy housing, and finds herself imprisoned
- and the Men aren't far behind her. It looks like the King's new torture
machine is going to get a real workout!
With John Dallimore as WEASEL and Alastair Galbraith as WALTER
Songs: Friends
or Foes?
Best
Lines:
SHERIFF: Wait
an itsy-bitsy teeny-weeny yellow-polka-dotted minute!
3.
RAINING FORKS (broadcast January 19th 1994)
Worksop is held in the grip of a terrible plague, or, as it's
more usually known, a bad cold. The King is also afflicted, and decides what he
really needs is a nice vacation by the sea-side in a resort. The Sheriff goes
into Evil Plan Overdrive as he cons the peasants into building the holiday camp
for free. Luckily for them, though, the Merry Men are on the holiday from hell
in Skegness, just down the road from the new Holiday
Camp. Before High Forks Night is over, the Merry Men will have busted the
peasants free of their forced labour - or been blown
up trying.
With Peter Waddington as the CHIEF INSPECTOR FOR THE MINISTRY OF FOOD
(SKEGNESS BRANCH).
Songs: Vacation;
High Forks Night
Best
Lines:
GLADYS: It
swept through Worksop like the plague!
SNOOKER:
It is the plague, Gladys!
GLADYS: I
know! It swept through Worksop like another plague
that isn't the one that just swept through Worksop!
ROBIN: You
know the poem: "Remember, remember, the twenty-seventh of April".
4.
THE WISE WOMAN OF WORKSOP (broadcast January 26th 1994)
The men
can't sleep, and as if that weren't enough, they're keeping the rest of
Sherwood awake with their all-night raves. Gladys has a solution, but when
things go wrong, only her father can help, and he's strung up in the King's
dungeon - or at least he was. With Marian and Robin captured, it is Rabies who
comes up with a plan to set them free - and astonishingly enough, it works.
With John Dallimore as WEASEL, Alastair Galbraith as WALTER and Roger
Ostime as GLADYS'S DAD
Titles:
Lighting for Robin's rave.
Songs: Pixie
Paul
Best
Lines:
GLADYS:
[adding ingredients to a cauldron] Eye of newt, windpipe of thistlethrush,
fanbelt of jaguar...
WALTER:
They've got all this new technology outside: the wheel, the stick, the piglet;
I couldn't handle it, I'd crack up!
5.
ROBIN THE BAD (broadcast February 2nd 1994)
He's
wrecking havoc in the village of Worksop! He's a
menace to society! He's killed the King! He's... Robin?!! Well, he's not
actually, but Clem Costner is such an amazing lookalike that soon only
Barrington, Rabies and Little Ron believe Robin is innocent; in the meantime,
the Sheriff has taken over the post of the Most Popular Man in Sherwood.
With Karen
Salt as CHICKWEED
Songs: Thicky-Stupid; A Collection of Amusing Things
Best
Lines:
CLEM: Struth! That woman's power mad, she must have been a
metalwork teacher!
ROBIN: A
super-hero? Don't make me laugh; Super Mario maybe, you've got the right size
head and you jump up and down all the time!
TIMMY:
(imitating SHERRIF) I don't really like these people! I just tried to buy their
affection with cheap and shoddy promotional devices I stole from MacDonald's
Squirrel Burger Emporium. I'm Noel Edmond's House Party! I'm foul! Unspeakably
foul!
6.
THE NICE SUMATRAN (originally broadcast: February 9th 1994)
Marian's
plan to scare off King John has worked - he's abdicated, leaving Guy on the
throne. But soon a vagrant turns up at Merry Men headquarters, and Robin
decides to follow the example of the Good Sumatran and allow him to stay -
until the untimely demise of Clarence the Water-Vole. King John has to go, and
that means putting him back on the throne - but where can Marian find a plan
stupid enough to frighten off Guy? And will the Sheriff actually work, with the Merry Men to remove
Guy's crown?
Songs: The King
of England is a Pig; Party People Party; Take My Heart
Best
Lines:
SHERIFF:
The King has scarpered; long live the King!
ROBIN:
Guard it with your life, what a ridiculous thing to say - guard it with your
big stick...
7.
VOYAGE TO THE BOTTOM OF THE FOREST (originally broadcast: February 16th 1994)
Rabies
laziness has cost the Merry Men yet another armed robbery; but when they steal
a battleship, and try to launch it, they begin a weird adventure in a freaky
parallel Universe where everything is almost, but not quite, the same (except
for some things, which are completely opposite). The strange country of Engyland, however, has awaited Rabies' arrival - for it is
his destiny to save them from the wicked witch and her cohort, the awful
Ogre...
Songs: Lazy; The Story of Workflop
Best
Lines:
ROBIN: How
much do you think they've got?
MARIAN:
Twenty thousand gold pieces?
ROBIN:
Wow! I'll get a Gucci quiver, Armani tights...
MARIAN:
Don't you know what this means?
RABIES:
Yeah... "this" means the thing I'm pointing
at, like "this pimple", "this armpit", "this great
twit with wings on his bonce".
After
Series Four, there were no more series of Maid Marian And
Her Merry Men.
PAGE LAST UPDATED: 15TH AUGUST 2002
MORE UPDATES COMING SOON!