A REVIEW OF RED DWARF VIII: FILMED LIVE!
AT SHEPPERTON STUDIOS!
BY MARIE BIRCH
I had made a decision, for me, and my husband, Paul, to see: Red Dwarf VIII, Filmed Live, at Shepperton Studios, on Friday the 4th of November 1998, especially as I had discovered, that the Tickets were available, over the Internet, via a Telephone Number, which was advertised, on the alt.tv.red-dwarf Newsgroup. And thinking, that the number would be constantly engaged, and the dreaded prospect of it, being absolutely impossible to get Tickets, I decided to give the number one try, at the very least, especially, as it was a Birmingham number, which is fairly local to where we live. Surprisingly enough, I got through to a man, who was quite helpful. His name was Denny Hodge, and he lived in Edgbaston, and I told him that I had acquired his number, via the Internet and that I just wanted to know if it would be possible to acquire Tickets, to see Red Dwarf VIII. I discovered, that Denny, had met the Cast of Red Dwarf himself, apart from two of them, but he had, also informed me, that he had met: Craig Charles, on a number of occasions, and he had stated, that he was very nice, indeed! And, I did insist, to Denny, that it wasn't that important, that I get the Tickets, especially as I had attended, the Red Dwarf Conventions: Dimension Jump 1995, and Dimension Jump 1997, but Denny had insisted, that as I had met, the Cast of Red Dwarf, and that, as I was, also a Drama Student, he said that he would like me, to get the Tickets, as he had felt, that I had earned the right to go, and see Red Dwarf VIII, Filmed Live, at Shepperton Studios, and he had informed me, that he would send me a Form, which would have some Recording Dates, on it, and that, we could go, on a Date to suit us, and when, I had received, the Form, I could just fill it in, with a Stamped Addressed Envelope, which would be used, to return the Tickets.
My husband Paul and I, are no strangers, where being part of a Studio Audience, is concerned, and when we were going to the Eighteen Plus Group, where we had first met, we had the chance to go and see the quiz show, Blockbusters filmed live, at the Central TV Studios, which was fairly local to us, especially as it was situated in Nottingham! I am not going to do a report, where Blockbusters is concerned, only to say, that we had a great time, and the studio, had been, quite plush, with corridors, where we could walk about, and it was quite a big studio, where the seating is quite spacious really, and you have got plenty of leg room, and I really enjoyed the walk into the studio, where we saw great big cameras hanging over us, and we even walked over, some cabling! But please do not, have a heart attack if you read this, because the cabling, was covered by casing, and it was like walking on a platform, but you could see the cabling inside the casing, which was really quite an experience, to say the very least! And the warm up man, was very good, and he warned us, that we had got a lot of tonnage, where the cameras were concerned, and if one of them, was to come off, we would certainly know about it! And we even had some free orange juice! And it was a great experience, seeing Bob Holness in the flesh! So, we were more than prepared to go and see Red Dwarf VIII, live! However, the only disappointments, that we had, by our night out, seeing Blockbusters, was that our tickets were taken off us, and therefore we weren't allowed to keep them, as souvenirs, which would have been nice, and we weren't allowed to take photographs, but then again, you can't have everything, can you?!
As it was such a long journey to Shepperton, from where we live, and the route, that Denny had sent us, which would take us directly to Shepperton, was via the M25, which we had experienced on our way back, from the Red Dwarf Dimension Jump 1995 Convention, which had been held, at The Ramada Hotel, Gatwick, Crawley, West Sussex, and we had no desire to experience using the same route ever again, if we could help it! And I could not get over seeing all those cars breaking down every so often, whenever we moved a hundred yards or so, if we were lucky! And the steam that came out of them! No, we weren't going to experience the M25 ever again, if we could help it, and besides my husband Paul had got a day off, which was owed to him, via his company, and we decided that we would make the most of it, and we would go to London, for the day, and as we had been on a couple of trips to London and Paul had worked there for a couple of days on a temporary basis, and so, we weren't exactly strangers to it!
And we had set our hearts, on going to Hampstead Heath once again, which is the one part of London, which I really love, and it was our second visit, there! We first went to Hampstead during October 1994, when we had acquired some free tickets to Wembley Stadium, which is an experience in itself! I was appointed Princess for the day, via the tour guide, and I even had the privilege of handing the cup to the rest of the people on the tour! But you have never seen a Princess in a red Duffel coat before! But it was still great fun, nevertheless! And you even had the voice of Desmond Lynam, as the sound guide for part of the tour, and we even had a load of young children, with us, who were all kitted out in their Coventry Football strips, and they really went wild, when they saw the Coventry flags hanging up, from the rafters! So, what more could you want, on a tour of Wembley?! Coventry supporters, and the voice of Desmond Lynam!
However, I have never been one for the bright lights of London, and even though, I have enjoyed seeing the sights, over the years, it is never a place, that I would like to stay in for a very long time, even though, I do appreciate, the odd visit, to the capital, once in a while! But only once in a while, and as I am a semi-country-townie person, because Wolverhampton, where I originally come from, is a Market town, even though it does have it's industry, it has never really lost it's individuality, and even though we are only fifteen miles from Birmingham, I don't really like big cities, and Birmingham has always terrified me, with all of it's traffic! Well Wolverhampton does at times! But it isn't like Birmingham, and even though I did my Drama course for eleven weeks, just outside Birmingham, the Drama School that I went to in Edgbaston, reminded me a lot of my parents house in Compton, because it had some woods at the back, and I really loved the Squirrels that came right up to my feet and ate the breadcrumbs, which were left over from my feeding the ducks at Birmingham University Campus, just down the road from the Drama School and I really love Squirrels! I think that they are really sweet! However, to get to Edgbaston, from where I live, was a bus ride, a train ride and another bus ride, which was an adventure in itself, and I am not really one, for going on the trains! But by the time, that I got, to the Drama School at Edgbaston, I was shattered, before my Drama Class, had even begun! But it was great fun, to sit in the garden and read a book, so I could get over the journey! But that's another story! But the point that I am making is, that I am not really a city person, but the towns and cities will always be there, should the need arise! But at my parents house in Compton, we would get squirrels, foxes and badgers and it is wonderful to hear the owls at night! And I have read in our local paper, that they are going to put some signs up, so drivers can take care, where the badgers are concerned on the main roads!
When I was a child, I had always dreamed of living in London, but when you grow up, your views change somewhat! And I do prefer the peace and quiet, of where I originate from, and even though, I have enjoyed, seeing the sights, and going around, the Museums, with my husband Paul, I do find the pace of London, a bit hectic, somewhat! And going on the underground, is great fun, at first, but seeing all thoese people, does get a bit much, once the novelty has worn off, and I know deep down, that I could not stay in London for a very long period! And I do understand why Craig Charles has bought a Hunting Lodge in Somerset, which he informed us, at the Red Dwarf Dimension Jump 1997 Convention, is set in twenty five acres of woodland, which has got squirrels, foxes, badgers and deer, and that is a place, that I would love to know a little bit more about, one day, especially as it dates back from 1610, and I think perhaps King Charles the First might have hunted there, at one time? It is wonderful to be at peace with oneself, because I speak of our holidays in Scotland, especially New Galloway, which is in the wilds of Scotland, and we loved it so much, one year, that we are going there again, for our main holiday, this year!
Incidentally, just as a matter of interest, I am also interested in Craig's house in Kennington, which is made from recycled materials, by Nicaraguans, and I believe from an interview, which I intend to upload on to his website, one day, that part of the front of the house, is made from a Fire Station?! I wonder how that can be! But the point I am making is, I am interested in all kinds of buildings, especially as my husband and I are National Trust and English Heritage members! But again, I do NOT want to live in London, under any circumstances, or any big city, come to that! And the same goes for Birmingham, as well! And I really love Craig's poetry, and I came across one particular poem of Craig's in an edition of: Smeghead: The Official Craig Charles Fan Club's: Fanzine, which is based on Dante's Inferno, but his is entitled: The London Inferno! Which describes driving round London to a tee, which was something we experienced on the way to Shepperton, but I will go into it a bit more, very shortly! Just thinking about driving round London, makes me feel like cracking up, OK! Which is something Kryten would probably say on a new Smeg Ups video, come to that!
So, round about midday, we arrived in Hampstead, which is a place, which never makes me and Paul think, that we are in London, once we have parked our car, and started walking round the Heath! It is always a part of London, which makes me feel at peace with myself and the rest of the World. But the one thing, I love about the capital, and which took me completely by surprise, is it's greenery, and there does seem to be a lot of parkland, surrounding the capital, but my husband insists, that if you do have to live in the capital, that you need every bit of green space, that there is, otherwise you would go doolally! But in all honesty, I do find it very hard to believe that Hampstead Heath is part of the Metropolitan London Borough! Especially as the Heath does cover quite a few miles! And there is a multitude of squirrels, scattered about the place! And Hampstead is quite a significant place to me, because the actor, that I used to correspond with from time to time, the Late Barry Evans of Doctor in the House/at Large and Mind Your Language Fame, used to reside in Hampstead. I know this for a fact, because the envelopes that I received off Barry, were always postmarked Hampstead, and in his obituary in The Daily Telegraph, which I stuck in my Barry Evans scrapbook, mentioned that he did actually live in Hampstead, which confirmed that fact to me, once and for all, before he moved to Clayton Magna in Leicestershire, but Barry's private life, was never really none of my business, but it is comforting to know, that he loved, what Hampstead had to offer him, at the time, when he used to live there and it must have been wonderful for his Dogs, to have had all that exercise!
We were a bit disappointed, that we went past Kenwood, an English Heritage place, before we parked the car in a street, very close to the Heath, but as we did not have the luxury of a whole day to spend in London, we knew that we would just not have the time to go round Kenwood, which we vowed that we would do, the next time we came to London for the day out, and I was most impressed to discover that Sir Edward Heath, the former Conservative Prime Minister, has given Concerts there, over the years, and I often wonder with all his heavy political schedule, how the former Conservative Prime Minister has found the time to be a Conductor, which I understand can be just as demanding, as been a Politician! But I suppose you do manage to find the time, to devote to your hobbies somehow! However, we partly got our wish, about going round Kenwood, because quite by chance, we stumbled across the outside of the Parkland, which we knew from reading our English Heritage magazine, borders on the edge of the Heath, but we did not know, that we were that close to it! But as it was approaching midday, we realised that it was time for lunch, and as we had got our English Heritage cards with us, there was no reason, why we could not use the Parks facilities! Actually there didn't seem anyone available, to check our cards, and we later gathered, that they were only interested in checking if we had our cards available, if we wanted to go in the house, which we hadn't got time for, anyway. But we did have time to take a photograph of the outside of the house, eat our lunch and drink from our beer cans, for the best part of forty five minutes, which was quite relaxing really! And we did have a quick glimpse of the inside of the house, through the windows, which contains some of the finest collections of art, available in this country, and we also discovered, a bit later on, that Kenwood has a slight Red Dwarf connection, because 101 Dalmations was filmed there and Mark Williams (Petersen in Red Dwarf and of The Fast Show fame), starred in the film, alongside Glenn Close (Alex Forrest in Fatal Attraction, the evil Noblewoman in Dangerous Liasions and Mrs Barnum in Barnum The Musical, etcetera). So, there you have it!
But by that time, it was getting a bit late, and we were beginning to lose the light from the sky, and we had still got to get to Shepperton, and you really can't hang around for too long, if you want to get out of London! So, there wasn't a lot of time to lose, even though it was only 1.30p.m, but my husband insisted that I don't really know what getting out of London means, and we still weren't sure, where exactly Shepperton Studios, were situated!
Fortunately, it did not, take us, very long to make it, to where my husband, Paul, had parked, the car, itself. Unfortunately however, getting out of Hampstead itself, wasn't a very easy task, especially as it has got such little lanes, which actually makes you believe, that you are in the Lake District, for example: Hawkshead, which is a place where we stayed, which has very tiny roads and lanes, and alleyways, etcetera, which actually makes you believe, that you are in Italy and Wales at times! But Hampstead's roads aren't really designed for modern traffic, and you can tell that they still represent a Victorian era, to a certain extent, and the first time, we went to Hampstead, four years ago, we left London, by the North Circular Road, but we weren't going straight home, this time, we were headed for Shepperton! And driving, to Shepperton from Hampstead, is something, that has got to be believed!
It seemed to be a very frightening experience, just getting out of Hampstead itself, and we could not get over the ignorance of road users, who seemed to be papping their horns, if we did not increase our speed, so they could just make their merry way home, and driving bumper to bumper! We have never known anything like it, in our lives! And they can tell, that you are not local, by their sheer ignorance and arrogance, and come to think of it, we did not just have to endure this standard of driving round Hampstead, we had to put up with it, until we reached the M4!
Oh admittedly, it was fun at first, seeing some of the places that we had driven past before, like the former Conservative Prime Minister, Mrs Thatcher's, Finchley constituency and The London Business School, Buckingham Palace and The Mall, and Hyde Park, etcetera, but we had done a lot of the main sights of London, over the years, mainly by foot and the tube, and even though I had always dreamed of driving round Buckingham Palace, and I enjoyed it to a certain extent, but I found it a pretty hair raising experience, nevertheless! And the novelty of driving round London soon wears off, after about three or four hours, and once you make it to the not so scenic parts of London, like Battersea and Wandsworth, and when you have a husband, who is not exactly sure whether we are heading to Shepperton, the right way, you really can't wait to get out of the London Borough, when it actually comes down to it, at the end of the day!
And in the end, Paul decided, to give up on going to Shepperton Studios, via the route, that we had originally, been given by Denny Hodges, because we were desparately running out of time, as we were beginning to feel, that we weren't achieving very much, by trying to get to Shepperton, via the outskirts of London, because we weren't exactly sure if we were taking the correct route, to say the very least! And the rush hour traffic was increasing more and more, and even before the rush hour, driving around London, is like being in a constant rush hour, with the volume of traffic going in and out of the borough and worse still, our nerves were beginning to get a little bit frazzled, to say the very least! And I stated to Paul, that I just didn't know how people could commute back and forth, from wherever they came from outside the borough, everyday! And I think, that I would be a nervous wreck if I had to live in the London area, and I have heard it said, that a lot of the commuters, are constantly on medication, which I can well and truly believe!
In the end however, we decided to head to Shepperton, via the M4, which once again, was yet another battle for us to get on to the junction, which was absolutely necessary to us, so that we could get on to the M4, which had yet, another set of traffic lights at the junction! Fortunately however, we got on to the M4, where the traffic was flowing a lot more freely, but we desparately needed to freshen up at a Service area, and as time was running out, we didn't have time for a meal, but we were prepared to eat on the way back, by this time, anyhow, and once we were back on the M4, we did think that the worst of the journey was over, but we had to contend with the Heathrow traffic, which wasn't too bad, ironically, but we got caught in a traffic jam, in a small town, not very far from Shepperton, and this traffic jam, was the worst one, that we had been in, so far, and I think, that we were stuck in it, for the best part of ten minutes, which was an even worse experience, than being stuck in the traffic jams in the London area! And I forget the name of the town now, but fortunately, there was very little traffic on the rest of the way to Shepperton, because it was in a rural area, near a reservoir, which was fairly easy to find, fortunately, because by now, with less than an hour to spare, what with it being so dark, and I was so worried, about being placed by the monitors, and not being able to see Red Dwarf actually filmed, which I have heard, happened during filming of Red Dwarf VI, when some of the audience, arrived at the very last minute, and some people. were actually watching it on the monitors in the corridor, until the reception, could allocate them some seats! But they were fortunate enough to meet Craig Charles, who was kind enough to have his photograph taken with them, and the rest of the cast, and who actually made sure, that they were seated, but we did not want that to happen to us! But fortunately however, the signs for Shepperton Studios were plentiful, which reminded us, of the availability of the signs, for the National Trust and English Heritage places, that we have visited over the years, and therefore, we were definitely headed, in the right direction!
We remembered turning round an island, before the road before we turned down a road, which obviously led to the studios. We saw that there were a lot of barbed wire fences, surrounding each Studio Lot, which were old disused aircraft hangars, left over from the Second World War. I was perfectly aware, that some film studios are like that, and that they are ideally suited for filming, being in the middle of nowhere! In one of my favourite Richard Gordon Doctor books: Doctor in Clover, the irresponsible Doctor Gaston Grimsdyke, has the opportunity of spending a day on a film set, which was offered to him, courtesy of a treat, by an actress, who was also an old flame of his, at one time, before she was famous. And Doctor Grimsdyke who isn't too impressed by the film studios, commented, via his thoughts, in the book, that the corridors look just like the corridors of a hospital ward, when it actually comes down to it, at the end of the day! So, a film studio may not look very imposing, but they do tend to suit the purpose, and besides, even though the old Nottingham Central Television Studios were very nice to look at, and were the latest state of the art building, when we went to see Blockbusters in 1986, and they closed down during the mid-nineties, because they were considered an uneconomical prospect, and that the whole Midlands area, could be controlled, via the high-tech Central Television Studios in Birmingham, which also closed down, last year, due to economic cutbacks, and all the staff were moved to a smaller, and less impressive looking building, in Birmingham, which they insist, will be more than adequate enough, to control the whole Midlands area, so you can never really judge by appearances, can you?!
We drove down the end of the road, because we weren't sure where to go, but we had seen a lot of activity, at the very first Studio lot, which we had come across, where we saw about sixty or so, poor souls queuing outside, shivering in the cold, and I suddenly felt a shudder, run down my spine. These were the audience! They had got to be! And sooner or later, I knew that we would be queuing, with them! And there were a lot of them! And I was really worried, that as we only had about three quarters of an hour left to spare, that we would not be able to see all of the action live, and my worst fears were, that we would see everything filmed, on the monitors, which was the one thing, that I had dreaded, more than anything! But Denny Hodges had insisted to me on the telephone, that you would only see Red Dwarf, being filmed on the monitors if they get an overflow, and they have to place people who come in at the very last minute towards the seating on the side, and he also insisted to me, that usually happens, when they have people who have been allocated tickets, and they decide not to come and see it filmed, at the very last minute, and if there are any empty seats, and they do get people who suddenly come on the off chance of acquiring tickets to see Red Dwarf been filmed, at the very last possible minute, that is where they place them, but Denny insisted, that this would not happen!
But first of all, we had to park the car, and a Steward on the gate, checked our tickets, and he told us to park on the multi-storey car park, and we opted for the very top, of the multi-storey car park, as we knew, that there would be plenty of spaces, from past experience, because nobody can be bothered to walk all the way down, from the very top of a car park, if they can help it, when it actually comes down to it at the end of the day, and especially, when it is cold! So, once we had parked the car, we decided it would be for the best, if we were to ask one of the stewards where we had to go, to get into the studio, and we were desperate, to avoid standing in that queue, if we could get away with it, that is! And after showing another Steward our tickets, he told us to report to the Reception, so that meant, we would have a little bit of time in the warm, anyhow, which was better than nothing, I suppose, when it actually came down to it, at the end of the day!
The Reception as it turned out, was a concrete square building, stuck in the middle of the car park, and it was filled with quite a lot of people, who it turned out, quite surprisingly, were being allowed to go into the main studio, because they were guests of the cast of Red Dwarf! And we did feel, in all honesty, that as we had tickets, that we might get priority, and not have to stand about in the cold, with those poor people! But as luck would have it, the Reception area, was only allowing access to people, who were actually guests of the cast of Red Dwarf, who would be lucky enough to enter the studio, where you would be even luckier to meet the cast and crew of Red Dwarf! But unfortunately however, we were told to go and queue, with those other poor people outside, and we were not allowed to hang around in the reception, as long as it was possible, for us to do so, because the building was absolutely bursting at the seams, especially as there were so many people in there, you just could not move, as it was!
And so, resignedly, we made our way to the queue outside, which showed no
signs of moving, and it was a cold December evening, as well, but fortunately
for us, we only had half an hour left, before we were due to go into the
studios, anyway, and as I have been to quite a few football matches with my
husband over the years, you do find, that you soon get used to hanging around
in the cold, after a while, anyhow. We didn't mind hanging around outside in
the cold so much, before we went into the studio really. It was just the
thought of having to queue again, that was worrying me. Because we hadn't
really got over hanging about in the queues at the Red Dwarf Dimension Jump
1997 Convention, for autographs and photographs even though it had been worth
it at the time, you do find that your nerves get a bit frazzled, after a time,
and there had been over five hundred people, at that particular convention, in
question! And I have never forgotten, the blisters, that
my feet, had received at the time, after standing still, for hours at a time!
But fortunately however, queuing to see Red Dwarf, being filmed is not quite
like queuing, at a Red Dwarf Dimension Jump Convention, even though the
atmosphere is very similar to being, at a Red Dwarf Dimension Jump Convention.
We did find it more similar to hanging around at a football match or outside
the older type of cinemas in the seventies. Apparently, you haven't got to
queue outside the multi-screen cinemas, these days, as there tends to be plenty
of room inside the foyers, if you have got to hang around. I do not like going
to the cinema, anyway, because I went to see Grease, when it first came on in
1978, and I had to wait with my friends to queue for a couple of hours, and I
have vowed that I will never ever queue to see a film again! And I didn't
really want to go and see Grease anyway! But my Friends: Caroline and Sarah did
not think, that it was not normal, that I did not want to go and see it, and
they really felt, that I should get out once in a while, and that it was not
normal to be into Mind Your Language like I was, at the time! But I do not like
being normal! I do not like having to conform to what society wants! In short,
I am a complete rebel! In the end though, I was so desparate
to see Grease, because my nerves were getting frazzled after queuing for the
best part of two hours, and the people who ran the cinema, were turning people
away, in some cases, because they could not cope with the audience demand, at
the time! It was well worth queuing for it in the end, and Grease was a very
good film in my opinion, and I did go and see it again at the cinema, with my
Mother and a friend, about eight months after it was first screened, because
our local cinema was screening it again, but there weren't so many people
there, the second time round, and so it wasn't as bad. But I am extremely
worried about Red Dwarf The Movie, coming on the
cinemas, because I have not been a cinema, since 1994, which was to see
Disney's The Jungle Book. I had seen it when I was a child, but my husband
wanted to see it again, but I was not very pleased that it was released on
video, six months later! And we could have saved ourselves a Sunday afternoon
out! And in my opinion, a film is a film, and the same goes for Red Dwarf The Movie, as well! I do not think, that I would be able to
take, queuing for a film like that, all over again! However, my sister-in-law
Susan, insists, that was twenty years ago, when Grease first came on! And that
the cinemas are all multi-screen now, and that you haven't got to queue, like
you used to! But I always used to come down, with something in the cinemas,
because they were filthy, dirty places, and when we went to see Rising Damp The
Movie and Porridge The Movie, there were a lot of noisy children about, who
kept on asking people for a light for their cigarette, and it spoilt our
enjoyment of the first film: Rising Damp, and I found, that I was better off
watching it on the television! And the same went for Grease as well! Grease
looked exactly the same on television, as well! I did not also bother to go and
see Titanic at the cinema either, for the sole reason, that I was sick and
tired of people going on about it all the time, and just how sexy Leonardo Di Caprio is, etcetera! And I was frightened that I would have
to queue for it, and I did not bother to buy it on video, for Christmas 1998
either! I had wanted, Craig’s: Animated Film: Asterix
Conquers America for Christmas instead, and the man on the counter in WHSMITH'S
thought, that it wasn't normal, that I had no intention of buying Titanic
on video! And his response was: "Don't you want to see Leonardo?". And my response to that,
was: "No, I don't! I can't be bothered, and I'm sick and tired of hearing
about it!". Actually, when all was said and done,
I had got on very well with the man on the counter in the past, and he had also
shared my agreement, that some of the sixties and seventies comedies should be
on terrestrial television, as well as on satellite, like the Doctor Series, and
Mind Your Language, to offer the viewer more variety, and actually we just had
a good laugh about how the masses kept on about Titanic, really! But to give
Titanic credit, my Mother and Step-Father bought the video, and my Mother didn't
like it all that much, quite surprisingly, and she did not think that nothing
got going, until the ship actually started sinking! But I decided to borrow the
video. I did inform my Mother, that there was talk of a sequel to Titanic,
where Jack Dawson (Leonardo Di Caprio), had survived
the Titanic somehow, and he comes across Rose, working as a Nurse in a Field
Hospital during World War One, due to his injuries, on the Battlefield. My Mum
said that they could keep their sequel as far as she is concerned, but I
haven't heard anymore about that, and I daresay it was only rumours, that there
would be a sequel to Titanic, anyway. I wasn't in a very good mood, when I
flicked through the film, via the remote control last November, because we had
bought a new modem for the old computer and it kept on disconnecting on us,
every five minutes, and it nearly drove me spare, because the internet is more
or less the only way, that I can publish my work, when it actually comes down
to it, at the end of the day! I have published a little bit, outside the
internet, but it is a very slow process, and you can get your work on to the
internet, more or less, right away, but we sorted the modem out in the end! And
since then, we have acquired a new computer, with an internal modem anyway, but
I was in no mood for watching Titanic, that night! And I thought,
that I would take a look at the film, via flicking through it, before I watched
it properly to see whether it was worth watching. I can usually judge a film,
via flicking through it, via the remote control, and I had to say, that I was
most impressed with what I saw, and I more or less watched it properly that
very evening anyway, as I found it to be a very gripping film, and most
accurate in it's portrayal of the maritime disaster
and more importantly, mans sheer ignorance to safety controls! I have felt
ashamed of myself ever since then, where my opinions of Titanic are concerned,
especially as I am a Drama student, and I should have taken more of an interest
in the production side of the film, in the first place! I had seen the original
Titanic film: A Night To Remember with Kenneth More, and I had been vastly
disappointed with it, even though it had been very good in it's
own way, but my Mother preferred A Night To Remember to Titanic, quite
surprisingly. But more importantly than that, I must confess that I have a very
slight connection with the Titanic disaster. My Auntie Eileen is related to one
of the survivors of the Titanic: Eva Hart. I am not a blood relative. My Auntie
Eileen is my late Father's Brother's Tony's ex-wife.
But I had met Eva Hart myself at my Cousin Andrew's Engagement party. We did
not speak to her very much, as she seemed to be surrounded by everybody, and it
never crossed my mind the whole evening that the party was on, to ask her about
the disaster of the Titanic! When I was a child, I was always aware of my
Auntie Eileen's London accent. My Auntie Eileen is originally from Chelmsford
in Essex and her Auntie Eva is from the county of Essex as well. Miss Hart has
been featured in the historical Titanic books over the years, and there is a
picture of her in the book, when she was a child, and she looks a little bit
like my Cousin Rachel did, when she was about that age. I was also quite
surprised to discover, that Miss Hart was quite keen to talk about her
experiences about the Titanic. My Mother informed me, and my husband Paul, that
she still had nightmares about it, which was quite a surprise after all that
time! I also found out, via scanning that particular book on the Titanic that
Miss Hart and her family were going to live in Nova Scotia, Canada and that her
Father was in the building trade. They could have afforded to board, on the
Titanic as first class passengers, but they could not obtain tickets, as the
demand for a first class cabin was so high. And therefore, they had to board as
second class passengers, which was for the best, really, because the majority
of the second class passengers, survived, due to the efforts of Thomas Andrews
(Architect of the Titanic and Managing Director of the White Star Line), who
got as many people into the lifeboats, as it was possible for him to do so, but
he just could not be everywhere on the ship, all at once! And I have read some
of the transcripts of the inquest, and one of the Stewardesses claimed that Mr
Andrews ordered me to do, such and such. And I gathered from that, he was a
good man, and at the end of the day, I honestly felt, that nobody would have
blamed him, if he had tried to save his own life, at the very least! And I
really do feel that the film Titanic portrayed his efforts at saving peoples lives on the Titanic, to the very best of his
ability! And it must have been awful for him to have seen his dream so
carefully nurtured, over so many years, destroyed for the rest of eternity.
Miss Hart also quoted in the book that everything seemed alright once her and
her Mother were placed in the lifeboat. Her Father did not survive the disaster
of the Titanic. The worst thing was being stuck out in the Atlantic at night in
the freezing cold, and once the ship sank, the silence was so deadly
oppressive, it had to believed. Miss Hart has also
been featured in our local paper, where she was featured in a ships wheelhouse,
where the Captain of the ship, had collected a ships bell and various maritime
memorabilia, which had been manufactured by the same company, which had made
the same items for the Titanic's wheelhouse, but those particular items, had
been used on other ships. Until I saw the film Titanic, I was shocked to
discover that what had actually happened on board the ship was far worse than
all the facts of the disaster, that I had heard of, over the years, and worse
even than that, I could not believe how much they had taken the safety of every
woman, man and child like that, for granted and it was a complete and utter
disgrace, the way that peoples backgrounds, were taken into account! I fully
believe that every man, woman and child from whatever class culture or creed,
they originate from, have a right to save their lives with careful
consideration and efficiency! And in a sense, I honestly feel,
that if it had not been for the disaster of the Titanic, that maritime safety
and airline safety standards would not be as we know them today! In a sense,
the disaster of the Titanic did achieve something, but it was such a senseless
waste of life, and if there had been enough care taken, and more than enough
lifeboats on board, I really do think that the tragedy could have been
lessened, somewhat! By looking at the ships passage on the film more carefully,
it is quite obvious, by just casting a cursory glance at the ship, that there
weren't enough lifeboats on board! I despise all ignorance, and the First World
War was another senseless waste of life, but that is another story! In fact,
any war be it for good or the bad, is a senseless
waste of life! I always worry about safety, and whenever I am on a plane, I am
always concerned about the airline safety procedures. Especially where the
oxygen masks are concerned, and I said to my Father on
a flight to
And even though, we did manage to strike up a conversation with some of the people in the queue, we found that we did get moved on, by the Stewards, and we did find it quite amusing the way that we were being moved on, closer and closer towards the studio and I did crack a good joke at the time: "Are we being marched to barracks?!", because you felt, that you were more in an army camp, at times, rather than a film studio! But then again, as I have quoted before, I never go by appearances of a theatre or a studio and as I have acted myself, I have worked in some pretty basic theatres, when it comes down to it! And you pay more attention, to your work and the sets, rather than the architecture of the building, that you are performing in!
Via the people, whom we spoke to in the queue, we did hear, that what they had heard from various sources was, that Red Dwarf VIII, was a lot better, than Red Dwarf VII! But that said, the woman we spoke to who was in front of us, said that you have got to watch Red Dwarf VII a few times, to appreciate it, that bit more, and I informed her, that I preferred Red Dwarf VII Extended, which the majority of the fans, agree with, but she didn't like it without the audience, and she wouldn't like to see Red Dwarf, filmed without an audience, altogether, because she felt that Red Dwarf, seemed to lose something, without the laughter track! And I did insist, that you could still watch Red Dwarf, without a laughter track, and that I didn't mind the lack of a laughter track, at all! And I could in all honesty, carry on watching Red Dwarf without an audience, altogether, if it actually came down to it, at the end of the day, because I do feel in all honesty, that the humour of the show, can still come across, without a laughter track! And to be quite honest, after a while, I did find, by watching Red Dwarf VII Extended, that I barely noticed, the lack of a laughter track! But then again, not everyone shares my opinion, about Red Dwarf, without a laughter track! And that said, I cannot wait to see the rest of Red Dwarf VII Extended on video, when it comes out, which hopefully, will not be too long, now, as I have heard, via a page on the internet, that the rest of Red Dwarf VII, is coming out on video. So, that is something else to look forward to! I also asked the woman and her boyfriend in the queue, if we would have any problems with getting seats closer to the front, which can still be a problem, if you don't get to the studios, fairly early, and we had not got to the studios, fairly early! Actually the woman and her boyfriend, said that we should have no problems in seeing Red Dwarf filmed live, as apposed, to seeing it on the monitors, but it is best to be fairly close to the front, nevertheless! The people whom I spoke to in the queue, were Fan Club members, and the woman and her boyfriend, in front of us, had been, to the Red Dwarf Dimension Jump 1994 Convention, which we hadn't gone to, but there had been five hundred Attendees, at the time, which sounded quite a lot, compared to the one hundred and fifty of us, at the Dimension Jump 1995 Convention, but that Dimension Jump 1995 Convention, had been organised, at very short notice, but we still thought, that there had been a very good atmosphere, at the Red Dwarf Dimension Jump 1995 Convention, nevertheless! And I have read, all about, the Red Dwarf Dimension Jump 1994 Convention, in: The Official Red Dwarf Fan Club's Fanzine: Better Than Life, in a back edition, two years ago, anyway, and it had seemed like, the Attendees, had a lot of fun, from what I read, anyway! The girl and her boyfriend behind me, had been, to the Red Dwarf Dimension Jump 1997 Convention, and the girl, had thought, that she had remembered, seeing me there, and I had thought, that I had, also remembered, seeing her there, as well, but when there are five hundred people at these events, you find it very hard to keep track of certain people, after a time! I also asked the woman and her boyfriend, in the queue, if you still get people, coming to see Red Dwarf without tickets, like you did for Red Dwarf VI, but they insisted, that to see Red Dwarf filmed, you MUST have tickets to go and see it, these days, and that you will be turned away, if you don't have tickets! It doesn't work like that, these days! I also told the woman in the queue, that I was a part-time Drama student, and she informed me, that she was interested, in finding out, how the sets, were constructed, and that she would like to see sets, constructed for any production, and not just Red Dwarf's sets!
And that, was about how much we talked to people in the queue, before we went into the studio, and you didn't get very much of a chance to talk to people really, because we kept being moved along by the Stewards, who were moving only so many of us, into the studio at a time, which we guessed was for safety reasons, as we found that the inside of the studio, wasn't very big, once we finally entered it and we had a man, come out to chat to us, to apologise for keeping us waiting so long in the queue, and I did manage to ask him, if he was the warm up man, but he stated, that he wasn't the warm up man!
Finally, after our feet, were beginning to feel a bit numb, we were finally led into the studios. Now I am not going to go into great detail, about how the studio looks, but for anyone reading this report, and who is interested in seeing how the studio where Red Dwarf is filmed, please refer to the photographs in: The Making Of Red Dwarf by Joe Nazzaro.
Once again, we were asked by the Stewards inside the Studio, to show our tickets, but they were back in the envelope, again, but quite surprisingly, once we stated, we had already shown our tickets to the Stewards outside, they believed us, when we told them, that they were in the envelope, and they let us through, and therefore, that meant, that we were allowed to keep our tickets as souvenirs! Which was something that we hadn't been allowed to do with our tickets, when we went to see Blockbusters, which had been the only thing, that we hadn't enjoyed, about seeing the quiz show, but then again, you can't have everything, can you?!
To our surprise however, we found, that we were seated quite close to the front, to the far left-hand side, but if the cast and crew were to look at the audience from their point of view, you would be seated, towards the far right-hand side of the studio. I hope that I make myself quite clear, where that is concerned! Unfortunately however, even though we had a very good view of the set, we found that it was very cramped, especially where the leg room, was concerned, which we didn't have a problem with, when we went to the Central TV Studios in Nottingham, to see the quiz show: Blockbusters!
We were surprised to discover, that the sets for Red Dwarf VIII, were all together on a gigantic raised platform, which came as quite a surprise, because we assumed, that as we were going to see the very last episode: "Earth", that there would only be one set, which they would use for the filming of that particular episode, plus some additional footage, that would be shown, via the monitors, which I believe did happen for Back To Reality: Episode VI, Red Dwarf V, anyway, because that bit, where the Dwarfer's were still hallucinating on Starbug's mid-section, was the only bit filmed live to a studio audience, because the rest of that episode was so technically involved, especially where the S.S. Esperanto was concerned, that they just could not use a live audience, for the rest of Back To Reality: Episode VI, Red Dwarf V. But Red Dwarf VIII, did not work like that, and we were quite surprised, at the number of scenes that were filmed to the live audience, plus the additional footage, via the monitors! In fact, the cast and crew we thought, were over generous, via the live scenes that were acted out, to the audience! But I will go into more detail about that, a bit more later on, in this report.
Unfortunately however, as we were so far to the side, we could not see all of the sets, and we could only make out the rest of the sets on the monitors, as we were so strategically placed to the side, but the sets we did actually see live, were very good, but when we were first seated, we could only make out the actual purpose of the one set, which was obviously the Captain's Office, which was basically re-modelled on Captain Hollister's Office in The End: Episode I, Red Dwarf I and Stasis Leak: Episode IV, Red Dwarf II. But it was a lot bigger and a lot better, than Hollister's original Office, in The End: Episode I, Red Dwarf I and Stasis Leak: Episode IV, Red Dwarf II, and it had bluey greyish walls. Hollister's desk, displayed a lot of sophisticated equipment. There is a Lap Top PC and a gigantic paperweight with something blue inside it, but unfortunately however, you cannot see what it is, because the camera was out of shot, a lot of the time, where that was concerned, during Red Dwarf VIII, anyhow. But the sophisticated effect of the desk, in Hollister's Office came across very well, during Red Dwarf VIII, nevertheless!
But the second set, we could not make out, at all and at first, we assumed, that it was the new bunkroom and the mid-section of Starbug, because of the two bunks and the scanner table, but we did think that a wire scanner table, did not seem to fit in, via Starbug's requirements, especially because there was a ramp, leading to a door, outside this wooden interior version of Starbug, but perhaps there was a reason why the interior of Starbug looked so familiar, but so unfamiliar?! But the reasons for this, will be explained a bit later on, via this report, anyhow and from what we made out, from what we saw, Red Dwarf VIII is VERY different to Red Dwarf VII, anyhow!
However, as we were approaching filming time, quite a few things about Red Dwarf VIII, were explained to us, by our warm-up man and we were quite surprised to discover, that our warm-up man, was none other, than: Denny Hodge, the man, whom I had acquired our tickets from, in the first place, from Edgbaston, near Birmingham! And no, there wasn't any free orange juice! But then again, you can't have everything, can you?!
I was aware that the last warm-up man that Red Dwarf had, was Tony Hawks, who had made quite a few guest appearances on Red Dwarf, for example: Caligula in Meltdown: Episode VI, Red Dwarf IV, which is one of the best episodes of Red Dwarf IV, in our opinion! What surprises us, is not many of the fans like that episode, because they didn't like the action not being on Starbug or the Dwarf! But we liked that episode, because the action was away from Starbug and the Dwarf! Now, don't get me wrong, I love the action being on Starbug and the Dwarf, but there are times, when you need a bit of variety, where that is concerned, from time to time! But anyhow, I did read, via an interview in Starburst, that Tony Hawks, stopped being a warm-up man, because he wanted a bit more variety, where his acting was concerned, because he stated in his interview, that if you are a warm up man, and are quite well-established as a warm up man, that the only work you tend to get offered to you, is being a warm-up man! Which came as quite a surprise to me, because I assumed, that it was a good stepping stone to becoming a stand up comedian! But it doesn't quite work like that, but I feel that Tony Hawks has done very well as a warm-up man, because he is quite a well-known personality on the quiz shows on BBC Radio Four, over the past couple of years and I would have liked to have seen him at his peak, via his warm-up work on Red Dwarf, but again, you cannot have everything and we were quite impressed with the way that Denny Hodge, worked with the audience, and kept on encouraging us to laugh, when certain scenes had to be acted out, and he did state, that it is hard to keep on laughing, when you have seen the same scene before, and that did happen, but Denny's encouragement to us, where that was concerned, was very supportive and he did speak to a man in the audience, who had phoned him for tickets, who was also from Birmingham, and there was a Canadian or was it a South African in the audience, and a man, who had also been to see Red Dwarf VIII four times, in a row! But as I had stated to the woman and her boyfriend in the queue, we wanted to leave it until the last episode, because we gathered that it would be a bit hectic, especially, where the first episode was concerned! And the woman and her boyfriend in the queue, had heard, that going to see the first episode of Red Dwarf VIII, had been very hectic indeed!
One of Denny's jobs was to introduce the Producer and Director and the cast of Red Dwarf, but before he did that, his other job, was to tell us what the live scenes, were all about, before they were filmed. And now we were to discover what the wooden set was all about! And it was nothing to do with Starbug! It was everything to do with the Dwarf, apparently!
However, for the moment, Denny introduced the Producer and Director of Red Dwarf. Yes, the man behind it all! Ed Bye! I had actually seen Ed Bye about at Dimension Jump 1995, but I had never met him, which is something that I have always regretted doing, but you do tend not to recognise the behind the scenes people, so easily, as you do the cast of Red Dwarf and I have seen very few photographs of Ed Bye, but I did get to know Mel Bibby quite well at Dimension Jump 1995 and Doug Naylor was more recognisable of course, but anyway, Ed said Hello to the audience and we did think that he seemed very nice, but to our surprise, he didn't actually direct the live audience scenes, which were done by his assistant Director, who was called Julie (Sykes). She seemed very nice, but I didn't actually expect Ed to direct those scenes, because as I act myself, I do understand, that the people behind the very big professional shows, don't actually direct every single scene and they do tend, to get involved, during the more complicated scenes, and where Red Dwarf is concerned, I understand that Ed tends to be more involved with the technical scenes, which don't get shown to the studio audience. But that said, we did see him about a lot, at the Red Dwarf Dimension Jump 1995 Convention, and for the live recordings of Red Dwarf VIII. And he was always about, if his advice and assistance was needed, and he did shock us, via showing a photograph of himself, on the monitors, wearing a dark curly haired wig, plus a red mini dress, which certainly made people in the audience, wake up a little bit! But it was great fun, nevertheless!
After Ed, had been introduced, it was time to introduce, none other than two of the main cast members of Red Dwarf: Chris Barrie and Craig Charles!
After Chris and Craig, had been introduced, Denny went on to explain that this particular scene that was been filmed, was set on a Prison Colony! So, no wonder the scenery was a bit basic to say the least! Paul and I automatically assumed, that it would be like Justice: Episode III, Red Dwarf IV, or the one on Cyberia, where the two Lister's had ended up, in Red Dwarf: The Last Human by Doug Naylor, but only more advanced, but it wasn't quite as simple, as all that! For a start, the Prison Colony, was set on the Dwarf itself, which came as quite a considerable surprise! And not only that, Rimmer and Lister, were sharing the same cell! I had first assumed, when we first saw Red Dwarf VIII filmed, and the warm up man Denny Hodge had informed us, that Rimmer and Lister were in a Penal Colony, that it would be like the Penal Colony, that Rimmer had ended up in on Justice: Episode III, Red Dwarf IV, or the one on Cyberia, where the two Lister's had ended up in Red Dwarf: The Last Human by Doug Naylor. But Red Dwarf VIII, didn't work out like that, and the Prison Cell Colony was on the Dwarf itself, quite surprisingly! But that said, it did have quite a few similarites to the penal colony, on Cyberia in Red Dwarf: The Last Human by Doug Naylor, and a little bit of Justice: Episode III, Red Dwarf IV, itself, which was probably a short term inspiration, which Doug Naylor had used for Red Dwarf VIII, anyway! So, it was a reprisal of the old bunk room scenes, which had been so sorely missed, after Red Dwarf I and Red Dwarf II! And they were wearing lilac prison uniforms! Craig went on to ask us, if we liked his uniform, and I went and said no! Actually Craig, no offence, I had only, been joking, to see, how you would react, when I had said - “No!”, to your hat, at the Red Dwarf Dimension Jump 1995 Convention, and your suit, at your: Craig Charles: Live On Earth! Show, at Oxford Brookes University, at the Headington Campus, just outside, Oxford, Oxfordshire! And you did pause on both occasions, very briefly! But that said, I certainly did feel, that your uniforms, were certainly very different, anyway!
As Craig likes and enjoys working, with a live audience, he did do a few jokes based on his: Craig Charles: Live On Earth! Show, and he stated, that they built the prison set to make him feel more at home! As he should know from past experience! The jokes, that Craig used, were more or based on his: Craig Charles: Live On Earth! Show, plus some additional material, about his experiences of seeing his girlfriend Jackie in labour, and some tasteless Princess Di jokes, and I will stress here and now, that they are definitely not suitable, for admirers of the Princess of Wales! Later on, Craig did a a Birthday request for a girl, called Karen, in the audience, which was very nice of him, I might add! And of course, the filming of the live scenes didn't run all that smoothly, as there were one or two gaffes and naughty language, which the cast duly apologised for, of course! But please refer to The Smeg Ups and Smeg Outs videos, where that is concerned! To fill in a little bit of time, between scenes, Chris did his Kenneth Williams: "Oh Matron!" impression, which everybody soon warmed up to! And as one or two people were kind enough to remind Craig and Chris of their passionate kiss in Blue: Episode V, Red Dwarf VII. Craig gave Chris a kiss on the cheek, for old times sake! Which again, had us all in stitches!
Now I can't tell you, very much, about this particular scene, because I cannot recall the jokes one hundred percent, and as we didn't know very much about the plot at the time, they didn't ring very close, but we did work out, that this particular scene, was probably based around the first three episodes of Red Dwarf VIII, all entitled: Back In The Red, where Lister is being given a very hard time by the other cons on the Prison Colony, and that there was a bit of a bother again, via their Counselling service which was done, via the services of a Priest and a Social Worker, etcetera. And he thinks, that Holly and all the other Prisoners have got it in for him, as per usual! Now, Paul and I thought that this scene was very amusing indeed, and it was definitely very reminiscent, of the old bunk room banter between Rimmer and Lister in Red Dwarf I and Red Dwarf II, and that he is stuck with Rimmer, no matter how much he hates him, or loves him! And you can tell that he is frustrated, because he can't get anywhere near to Kochanski or any other woman, whatsoever! But the important thing, about that scene, to me and Paul and the rest of the audience involved proved the fact, that the old traditional bunk room banter, between Rimmer and Lister, had stood the test of time, and had not dated one bit! However, there was one thing, that I did feel, was missing from that scene, in question, but for the life of me, I just could not put my finger on it! But it definitely did not interfere, with our enjoyment of that scene, in question, at all!
I am going to mention the last live scene, that we actually saw filmed, before I mention what was shown on the monitors. There are still a few more live scenes, but as I stressed earlier on, in this report, we were much too far away to see them, and even with this particular scene, the camera tended to block Chris's profile, and we were more or less restricted to watching it on the monitors, anyway. And again, just out of habit, we had tended to look at the monitors as well, when we had seen the previous scene, anyway, to see how effective it would be, when it appeared on screen, when it airs on BBC2, next year, which will probably be round about: February1999. We were a little bit disappointed, to see, that the scenes were being filmed, with the single camera, again, which I had really felt didn't suit Red Dwarf at all! And I did feel, in all honesty, when Red Dwarf VII had been aired, that certain scenes looked very blurry, indeed! But for outdoor shots, they looked more perfected, say in Tikka To Ride: Episode I and Stoke Me A Clipper: Episode II, Red Dwarf VII. And I really did feel, that the new single camera approach, tended to work a lot better, with Red Dwarf VII Extended, as it really did explain the need, to give Red Dwarf a new film look, with the extra material, but on half hour episodes, I didn't really see the point of it all! But that said, I could tell, by looking at the shots on the technical and live scenes on the monitors, that the blurry look, from Red Dwarf VII, was no longer there, anymore, and that the new filming look, had been perfected, which we felt, would be far more beneficial, to Red Dwarf VIII, rather than Red Dwarf VII! But that said, I have heard, from various sources, that there are very few people, in Great Britain, who have had training with a single camera, like they do, in the United States Of America, and that the cost of hiring these people, can be very expensive, indeed! And my husband and I, really don't think, that our comedies look quite the same, because they have been given an Americanized look, like "Friends!". And personally, I would rather that Red Dwarf be filmed, via the traditional four or five camera technique, up to Red Dwarf VI! Forgive me, if I am being old-fashioned, but I cannot help feeling nostalgic, about the way, that it used to be filmed! But that said, I really do feel, that the single-camera technology will work a lot better with Red Dwarf VIII, and if Red Dwarf's filming techniques, are to move forward into the next Millennium, then so be it!
However, before the next scene was filmed, the next member of the cast was introduced to one and all, and he was none other than: Mac McDonald! Captain Hollister! And I was quite surprised to discover, that he had hardly changed over the past ten years! In fact, he had kept really well! In fact, he was wearing a very similar grey uniform, to what he had worn, via Red Dwarf I and Red Dwarf II, which certainly came as quite a surprise! And what also came to me, as quite a surprise, that a lot of the new sets for Red Dwarf VIII that were used, were based on the old grey sets, that were utilized in Red Dwarf I and Red Dwarf II! However, that is something else I must criticize, about Red Dwarf VIII. I have never had a lot of time, for the old grey sets, that were utilized in Red Dwarf I and Red Dwarf II, and I actually preferred the nice white bunk room, that Rimmer and Lister, used from Red Dwarf III to Red Dwarf V, as I did feel, that they really did give the Dwarf the interior look, that it had, so desperately needed after Red Dwarf I and Red Dwarf II! But that said, considering they had such a low budget at the time, I really did feel, that Red Dwarf I and II made up for the interior sets presentation, via it's exterior model shots presentation, which were way ahead of their time, especially where the models of Red Dwarf and Blue Midget, were concerned! And not to mention it's planet shots, and of course there was also the wreck of the NOVA 5! And it's humour, more than made up for the loss of the interior look! And in all honesty, I truly believe, what I have read in interviews, that Rob Grant and Doug Naylor have made since, that they really did do their best, to try and avoid giving the interior sets, that grey look, with the cheap cotton clothing, but the budget allowed, had been so low, at the time, and they hadn't been sure, that Red Dwarf, would succeed at the time! And that it had probably been for the best, if they made do, with a restricted budget! But they also vowed, that they would make it up to the viewers, by giving them the best of what the comedy side, and the exterior model shots had to offer, and they certainly did make up for that, in my opinion! Even now, when I see the Dwarf go across the screen, and I see all of it's little wheels (which were obviously for maintenance workers and PD people like Arnold Rimmer and Dave Lister!), hatches and the spires of the cities on top of it, I still cannot get over the beauty, of those original model shots! And I really could not see why, they had to perfect those original shots, via the remastered videos, even though I have to admit, that the new model shots, are a work of art themselves, I really do feel, that they will be far more suited, to Red Dwarf VIII, and beyond, rather than replacing the original series, video model shots, as I did feel, that the old model shots, which were recycled, for Ouroboros: Episode III and Nanarchy: Episode VIII in Red Dwarf VII, looked a little bit dated, to say the very least! And I felt, that they could have created some new shots, where that was concerned, anyhow! But again, the Dwarf wasn't used all that much, in Red Dwarf VII, so it didn't really matter, where the budget allowed for recycling those model shots, but for any future series of Red Dwarf, I would rather, that new model shots be used, where the budget allows! And I have no intention of giving up my original series videos in favour of the remastered series videos, even though I have recorded one or two episodes, and I was quite impressed, with the remastered Kryten episode, because I definitely did feel, that he should leave the Dwarf, on a more sophisticated high powered souped up Space Bike, rather than that, souped up go-kart in the original series videos! I really do not feel the urge to go to the shops and replace all of my original Red Dwarf series videos, with the remastered Red Dwarf videos!
However, with regard to the new grey sets, they were a lot better, than the original grey sets! And we also discovered, that they aren't used for every single scene on the Dwarf, and that they are combined with the original sets, which were used from Red Dwarf III to Red Dwarf V, and because Rimmer and Lister's roles have sunk rather in status, as the plot will gradually reveal, we also discover, that they are no longer entitled to reside in the Officer's quarters anyway! But again, if I had a choice, and it is still very much a personal opinion, please do not let me put you off the new series of Red Dwarf, if you happen to come across this report. Personally though, I would rather they hadn't bought back the old grey sets look, back to Red Dwarf, because I do feel, in all honesty, that they have given Red Dwarf, a rather dated look, once again, rather than a futuristic look, from Red Dwarf III to Red Dwarf VII! But again, that is only one opinion, anyhow!
However, with my opinions of Red Dwarf's sets, now stated, I will begin a brief summary of this particular live scene, which only features Hollister and Rimmer. Now, we were also very much surprised to discover, that Hollister is a regular cast member in Red Dwarf VIII, because I had been surprised to discover, via reading in The Official Red Dwarf Fan Club's: Fanzine: Better Than Life, and a Sci-Fi magazine, that Captain Hollister was going to be a guest, and that he would be revived in Captain's Office, and that he would not like the changes on board the Dwarf! And I naturally assumed, that the episode that he would appear in was: Captain's Office {which was later to become Pete I and II: Episodes VI and VII, Red Dwarf VIII}, and that somehow the radiation episode would be repeated again, and that he would die again, but again, it isn't quite as simple as all that. I will briefly give a plot detail, which is quite significant, before I go into detail about the scenes we saw on the monitors, in more detail, that Hollister and the whole crew of Red Dwarf have been revived, but things aren't the same, as they were before the original accident, but to cut a long story short, that is why Hollister is a regular cast member, and Rimmer has been summoned to his Office, because he has done something, that has impressed Hollister, no end. Rimmer is also wearing a grey uniform, for this scene, as well. And from what I remember of this scene, basically, that Rimmer has worked out, some Scientific Conundrum, which may get the crew and the Dwarf back to Earth a lot quicker, which is an absolute lie of course. And that it is something, which Lister has probably suggested, which he obviously won't get the credit, for of course! And even more devious than that, as Rimmer is still in prison with the rest of the Dwarfer's, he is still intent on becoming an Officer, no matter what happens, and it seems that he has devised some trial, which will prove once and for all, whether or not, they all deserve to be confined to Prison quarters for the rest of their sentences, but again, it is all to suit Rimmer's own ends, as per usual! But the Captain, who is completely captivated by Rimmer's suggestions, invites him to dinner in his quarters, where there will be four female guests. But Rimmer doesn't seem too concerned about that, especially as he is overwhelmed by the Captain's invitation to dinner, but think back to the last time, he was invited to the Captain's Table! And think back to that little incident, with the Gazpacho Soup, which was mentioned in Me2: Episode VI, Red Dwarf I! But before Rimmer leaves, he informs Hollister, where he can get some cream, for his piles, and he also gives him a Blueberry pie, which was a favourite dish of his wife Martha's, apparently, whom Hollister misses very much, which is not all that surprising, really, especially, when they are about three million years, in to deep space! To cut a long story short, it had been an ultimate disaster, and it seems to all concerned, that this invitation to the Captain's table will also be a disaster! It's obvious, innit?! (As Holly would say!)
Once the scene had finished, Denny introduced Mac McDonald who had played Captain Hollister, and Mac McDonald came out to the front and gave a bow, which is traditional for all sit-com Guest stars to do, and even though Mac McDonald, is officially classed as a regular in Red Dwarf VIII, he is not in Red Dwarf VIII, quite as frequently as the main cast, and therefore, he is officially classed as a Guest star regular!
And you will soon find out, what happened to Rimmer,
at the Captain's Table, courtesy of the monitors! However, before I do that, I
will mention something, which was shown a little bit later on, after we had
seen some of the technical scenes on the monitors, and it was shown to us all
on the monitors, just before the next live scene, was filmed, but I will
mention it now, because it wasn't really necessary to the plot, it was just as
a fill in, really, basically for a bit of a laugh! Denny Hodge wanted us all to
guess the country, which Red Dwarf had recently been sold to, and the start of
Future Echoes: Episode II, Red Dwarf I, was shown to us all, via the monitors.
You could easily think, that it was Red Dwarf as we all know it, because the
theme started up in exactly the same way of course, apart from the
undecipherable writing on the screen, which indicated it was Red Dwarf and it
wasn't Cyrillic lettering either! I assumed that Red Dwarf had been shown to
China, as it was that kind of undecipherable writing, and to go one even
better, Paul suggested that it might be Korea, as the Teletubbies,
had only just been sold there, which suits me, just fine, because the way that
they talk, might as well be Double Dutch, for all I care! But no, we were soon
proved wrong, because Denny Hodge was kind enough to inform us, that the
country that Red Dwarf, had only been recently sold to, was, yes, wait for it:
In the same interview, on BBC Radio Two, Craig went to say, that the Spanish actor, who had dubbed, Lister's voice, had sounded, very camp, indeed! And whenever, Craig goes on his holidays to Spain, with his family, and he gets recognised, he stated, in the same interview, on BBC Radio Two, that he has to be on his guard a bit, whenever he wants to relax on a Spanish beach, with his family! But he merely stated to that: "You've got to laugh, haven't you?!".
So, now that we have seen what Red Dwarf, is like in Japanese, I will now go into more detail, about Red Dwarf VIII, in English, on the monitors! The storyline begins like this. We are briefly reminded of what happened towards the very end of Nanarchy: Episode VIII, the very last episode of Red Dwarf VII, when the Cat realises, that they have all been miniaturized by the nanobots. So far, we do not know, whether Lister has stopped looking like he is entering for Mr Universe, but I will come back to that, very shortly! Now I had naturally assumed, that Red Dwarf VIII, would start off with the Boyz and Lady of the Dwarf, all back to normal, again, awaiting their latest adventures, and the return of Rimmer, and that it would be like the start of Red Dwarf V, with Kryten starting off as a Mechanoid, once again, and the DNA incident, of him getting back to normal, would never have been mentioned! I will state this here and now, because in Robert's book: The Man In The Rubber Mask, Robert stated, that DNA: Episode II, Red Dwarf IV, was the very last episode of Red Dwarf IV, to be actually filmed! And he was rather worried, that he would start off in Red Dwarf V, in Kryten's human form, or worse even than that, remain human, for the rest of Red Dwarf V, and beyond! Robert had never really taken to Kryten, being human, and he did not think, that it would work for Kryten, on a regular basis, even though he had had great fun, to do, as a one off, when DNA: Episode II, Red Dwarf IV, had been filmed, at the time, and it had been interesting to observe, how his character, had reacted rather badly, after the novelty of been a human, had worn off, after only a couple of days, and all of the repercussions, that had followed, when they had all gone back to the DNA suite! But Robert needn't have worried, when Rob and Doug informed him, that Red Dwarf V, would start off, with Kryten in his mechanoid form, once again, with no explanations, offered to the fans, and the character would just carry on, as per usual, and I had assumed, that would be exactly the case, where the start of Red Dwarf VIII was concerned, as some of the fans had predicted, ironically enough, on the alt.tv.red-dwarf newsgroup.
No, it did not work like that. Starbug was back on the Dwarf alright, and was still in it's miniaturized format, exactly in the same way it was, from the very end of Nanarchy: Episode VIII, Red Dwarf VII. But the crew could find no way to land the craft, and with no explanations offered, Lister was back to his usual self, in the cockpit, along with the rest of the crew. Starbug ended up so small, it even ended up in a ventilation duct and not only that, with a very large rat chasing it, and tossing it about, as if it were an annoying insect! But you didn't see what happened next. A brief notice on the monitors, which read, in a very similar format, as the old silent movie captions, which were for the benefit of the studio audience only, read: They get out of that, and.... The next scene on the monitors went on to show the Boyz and Lady of the Dwarf, all back to their normal size, in another Cargo bay, which seemed to have a lot of smoke and debris in it, but there were three characters who greeted the Boyz and Lady of the Dwarf, and they were all dressed in yellow plastic clothing from head to foot, which made them look like a cross between the survivors of The Titanic and Roadsweepers! However, to everybody's surprise, it seemed that the audience seemed to recognise them, and two of those characters who unmasked, who recognised Dave Lister, were non other, than Selby and Chen who had appeared in The End: Episode I and Balance of Power: Episode III, Red Dwarf I! But things are not quite as simple, as all that, Lister, Kryten and the Cat and Kochanski, soon realise immediately, that the nanobots have remolecurised the crew as well, and it is as if the radiation incident never happened, but it really did happen! And they are still three million years in to deep space, which you later find out, is classified information, which is due, to Hollister not wanting there, to be a panic, amongst the crew, once they work out, what has happened, and that, they are only remnants of the human race, stuck in the middle of nowhere, and that, there is no past, present or future for them, and they are all in a kind of limbo. Selby and Chen just cannot understand, why Lister is making a big deal of seeing them, and neither can Captain Hollister, who suddenly appears in the Cargo bay, reading Lister his rights! It definitely seems, that the Boyz and Lady of the Dwarf, are in a lot of trouble! We don't find out, why they are in trouble, but there is a scene, where they are all grouped together in their Lilac prison uniforms, and it seems, that they have all ended up with two years in the brig, and Rimmer also winds up with them, for some reason or other, and Holly is also sentenced to two years in the brig, because he is not the Holly, who is actually running the ship! And what is more, the Rimmer, who is with them, is not the Hologram Rimmer, we are all familiar with! The Rimmer before the radiation leak, has also been remolecurised, along with the rest of the crew! And now I suddenly realised, what was missing in the very first scene! Rimmer's "H" was not on his forehead, and without the "H", Chris's forehead is suddenly, very noticeable, indeed! And I never really noticed, how wide it was before! My own personal opinion is of Rimmer being alive again, via The End: Episode I, Red Dwarf I and Stasis Leak: Episode IV, Red Dwarf II, was that he was still Rimmer, and that he was still very much a git! But again, I still preferred him, being a Hologram, up to Red Dwarf VII, as I felt, that the character came across a lot better, and Rimmer being a Hologram, is the Rimmer we have all come to love or hate, no matter how many times you watch Red Dwarf, but from what I saw of Rimmer of been alive, when we went to see Red Dwarf VIII filmed last year, came across very well, but I still cannot help feeling rather sad, that he is no longer a Hologram, but again, he is still a git! And even though Rimmer has definitely got, no memory of ever been a Hologram, with Lister, in his alternative life, from Red Dwarf I to Red Dwarf VII, onwards, Rimmer is still not prepared to change his ways, no matter, how much Lister gets on to him, about their alternative life on Red Dwarf, together! And again, I honestly feel, that if Doug Naylor, wants to see how it appeals to the fans, via Rimmer being alive instead of a Hologram, then I am quite willing to give it a try, and even if it doesn't come across so well, he could always kill him off at a later date, and make him a Hologram again! After all, to my mind, Rimmer is Rimmer, dead or alive! And I still laughed at his snideness and hypocrisy and the important thing is, that he is back, with the Boyz aand Lady of the Dwarf, and his relationship with Lister is back on track, exactly where it belongs! And even though, I felt in all honesty, that Chloe Annett did her best, to replace, Rimmer in Red Dwarf VII, but at the end of the day, she just wasn't Rimmer! But one more thing, that I will add to my opinion in this report, where that is concerned, what does become of the Hologram Rimmer, who replaced Ace in Stoke Me A Clipper: Episode II, Red Dwarf VII?! Again, I feel that there is room for another crossover Dimension Jump episode, at a later date! However, I will stress once again, please do not let my opinions, about Rimmer been alive, as apposed to being a Hologram, put anyone off Red Dwarf VIII! It is just a personal opinion, that is all!
I will go into the next scene, which was filmed live, but as I stressed earlier on, we were to see no more live scenes, and were confined to watching the rest of the live action, via the monitors. As I stated earlier, Craig was attired in the same grey Technicians uniform, for this particular scene. Now I did feel that he looked very good in his grey Technicians uniform, complete with dreadlocks, and he wore a much smaller tie, which was a plainer version of the tie, he wore in Justice: Episode III, Red Dwarf IV. And somehow, you could still tell, that he looked very slobby, in his new grey Technicians uniform! But again, I do prefer to see Lister in his leathers and long johns from Red Dwarf III to Red Dwarf VII. That is the way, that I think of Lister's general appearance, and I always will, but you have got to have a bit of variety, from time to time, and as long as he varies his appearance in any future series of Red Dwarf, from time to time, I don't really mind! However this scene was quite good, and the set, was quite impressive, and from what I gathered, of this particular scene was, that Rimmer was visiting Lister in the brig, which was a white building, with a glass paned roof, which had a pretty blue sky design to represent a nice sunny day on Earth. Again, Lister and Rimmer didn't seem to be doing their very best to be friends, and it was quite obvious, that Rimmer was after something off Lister, as per usual, but Lister wasn't prepared to give it to him, of course! And Rimmer kept going on about the sexual magnetism virus, that was making him very popular amongst the women members of the crew. Somehow, Rimmer had managed to acquire the sexual magnetism virus, which had been swiped, via the Boyz, from the Dwarf, in Quarantine: Episode IV, Red Dwarf V, which had been invented by the Hologrammatic genius Doctor Landstrom, but as he is a very different Rimmer, and the Hologrammatic Rimmer, probably was saving the Luck virus, for a later date, or he may have forgotten about it, due to his enforced spell in the Quarantine Bay! And it seems, that the new Rimmer, has somehow managed to get his hands on it, and you can tell that he has already taken advantage of the virus, because he goes on to discuss his sexual conquests with Lister, and according to Rimmer, he states that he and Yvonne McGruder have gone through the first twenty three pages of the Kama Sutra, and that he left her, sleeping it all off on her bunk! This is the last time, that Yvonne McGruder is mentioned in Red Dwarf VIII, and she was also mentioned in Confidence and Paranoia: Episode V and Me2: Episode VI, Red Dwarf I, and she also made an appearance in Better Than Life: Episode II, Red Dwarf II, and she was also mentioned in Thanks For The Memory: Episode III, Red Dwarf II, and she was also mentioned in Back In The Red I: Episode I, Red Dwarf VIII. Lister is not very pleased about this information, and he is also very jealous, that Rimmer is getting some, and that he isn't, as per usual! (I personally feel, that Lister should get laid myself, as I am getting rather bored, that his character is left out, on a sexual basis, be it mutual love or lust, with any female, be it Kochanski, or any other attractive female, who happens to cross his path! But again, that is just a personal opinion, anyhow! And please do not let me put you off the new series of Red Dwarf, as it is really very funny, and it is definitely packed with far more humour, than Red Dwarf VII, anyhow!) However, Lister manages to acquire some of the luck virus and the sexual magnetism virus, via a bracelet, he is wearing on his wrist, which looks like a cross, between a watch and a calculator, and I have since worked it out, that it is a security device, which is based on the security tags, that certain felons have, who are allowed certain freedoms out of jail, but on a very limited basis, of course! But once Rimmer's back is turned, Lister manages to punch in the security code on the wall of the brig, and he is able to lift the blue cloudy forcefield, and with that, he escapes to freedom! Unfortunately however, in reality, the bracelet that Craig was wearing, came off his wrist, and that meant, that they had to do that particular scene again, but it didn't spoil our enjoyment of it, while we were waiting for the crew to fix it back on to his wrist, and Denny stated, that on an earlier recording of Red Dwarf VIII, that somebody failed to press the RECORD button, and it meant, that the cast, crew and audience, had to start all over again, and nobody left until three in the morning! I had a feeling, that Denny was joking, actually, but you never can tell, if everything is one hundred percent secure, when filming any production is concerned, and these things do happen, unfortunately! I know, because I have worked on productions myself, and there have been a hundred and one things, that can go wrong, at anytime. The worst and most tense time is the Dress Rehearsal, which nobody tends to treat as a proper performance! I tend to myself, as I tend to be very disciplined, where my acting is concerned in the past, even if a hundred and one things do go wrong, but sometimes you have to rise above it, and everything usually turns out alright on the night, anyway! And I found, that there were very few things, that went wrong, where filming Red Dwarf VIII was concerned, and the pick ups were very few and far between quite surprisingly, and I honestly felt, that Craig did NOT deliberately make the bracelet come off himself! And I also DO NOT think, that he has sabotaged props in the past, and I am getting a little bit fed up of the crew joking, that Craig wrecks their props, when I feel in all honesty, that some of the props are not properly assembled, in the first place! Why I mean, I have handled props in the past, and I have NEVER EVER broken one in my life, yet, on my word, Scouts Honour! I have also been terrified of going on the sets, when they are constructed, and would rather just work with floor space, and not touch props, unless I absolutely have to! And when I have helped tidy up the sets myself, people have panicked and shouted: "For God's sake, be bloody careful with some of those ornaments! And don't touch a thing, unless you absolutely have to!". Dave Turner who played one of the comic men in "Dick Whittington", and he went and smashed the cake tin on stage, but nobody really noticed, even though he was quite apologetic, afterwards, and we managed to get a replacement cake tin, for the rest of the production! You just have to manage, if the cast break props from time to time, like Carol did, when her sword fell apart, and I nearly cut my throat on the knife, which was actually held to my throat more or less, because, I was held captive, via the evil King Rat, and I just laughed it off, when it actually came down to it, at the end of the day! And the audience certainly laughed it off, when Carol broke her sword, and when the dressing table fell apart, in another production, which I wasn't involved in, but that was quite a disappointment really, because it collapsed, before it was meant to collapse, but you just have to carry on, if these things happen! Nobody is perfect, and I tend to avoid having props if I can help it, because I find them a real hindrance, to my performance, and I was annoyed, when I had to appear in a play and the props man insisted on checking the one prop, that I had, but again, I respected his point of view, because everybody must share the responsibility of their props, and some of the poor devils in that play, had hundreds of props, but I honestly believe if a prop breaks in Red Dwarf, they can easily assemble a new one, especially the bazookoids in a matter of hours, and at the end of the day, you have just got to pull together, and no one should be made to blame, if they break a prop, no matter what part they hold in any production, in my opinion!
After that scene had been filmed, it was now time for some more scenes to be shown on the monitors, but these scenes were now scenes, which needed our laughter, and so far, nobody had seen them, so we were in for a treat!
The next technical scene we saw was in the Medi-bay, where Kryten had to take his clothes off for the Doctor, which was very funny and quite reminiscent of the Strip Poker scene on the Smeg Outs video, where his armour came off. But this particular scene was a lot better than the Strip Poker scene, on the Smeg Outs video, where his armour came off. And the viewer got more of an idea of Kryten's embarrassment of being *Naked*. It was quite amusing to see Kryten's efforts, where filling the urine bottle, was concerned, with some flowers and seeing his hand fall off, when the Doctor tried to check his blood pressure was absolutely hilarious! And as for using the drill between his legs to take a look, and his head falling off! Well it was really a waste of time, examining him, wasn't it?!
Apparently the next few technical scenes followed on, from the scene in the brig, and we now had the chance to find out, what happened to Rimmer, where the sexual magnetism virus was concerned! Rimmer walked down the corridors of the Dwarf, to the admiring stares of fellow crew members, who seemed magnetised by Rimmer merely walking down the corridors! And they all said - "Hi Arnie!", and after that, Rimmer seemed to be in his element, and you soon work it out, that Rimmer is very well-renowned, sexually, where the female crew on the Dwarf, are concerned! Another scene switched to Rimmer seated at the Captain's Table with four female Officer's, who are quite obviously very high up, where their positions are concerned, on the Dwarf, and Captain Hollister kept on asking Rimmer about his scientific theories, but Rimmer was finding it very hard to have an intellectual discussion with Hollister, because of the admiring glances, from the four female Officer's at the Captain's Table! Captain Hollister was also rather concerned about the coffee, but Rimmer who seems to be rather intimidated by the four female Officer's at the Captain's Table, offers to go and get it himself, from the ships galley. But the blonde bespectacled attractive intellectual looking female Officer, who has obviously got her eye on Rimmer to satisfy her own sexual needs, insisted on giving him a hand, and grabbing him by the hand, they head off towards the galley! The sound of saucepans and various kitchen implements making quite an impact, as they crashed to the floor, meant that they were definitely not, making coffee! After the attractive woman had finished with Rimmer, she looks all dishevelled, glasses and hair all askew and untidy, and she also looked, as if she was soon raring to go, again! And Captain Hollister never did get his coffee, either! All of the female Officer's seated at the table, are looking at Rimmer, with obvious lust and longing in their eyes. And another female Officer at the Captain's Table, makes the suggestion of helping Rimmer make the coffee, and she isn't as nearly as attractive as the first female Officer, either! In fact, she is a little bit on the porky side! And she really struggles to get up from the table, to follow Rimmer in to the galley! But somehow, she manages to get up and follow him, and it is really quite amazing, to see how quickly a little fat female Officer like her, can run after a man, when she wants to! There is no mercy for Rimmer, whatsoever! And again, we hear the crash of all of the pots and pans in the galley! But this time, we see the fat female Officer's facial expression, pressed against the triangular window of the galley door, and it is in obvious sexual ecstasy, as well! And this proves to my mind, that the sexual magnetism virus is not normal, because a woman like that, should not be attracted to somebody, like Rimmer! Admittedly, Rimmer may have his faults, and he may be a git, but he is quite good looking really, when it actually comes down to it, at the end of the day! And therefore, it is just his bad luck that a woman like that, has her wicked way with him! Quite surprisingly however, Rimmer arrives with the Captain's coffee, but Hollister wants to know, what is happening with the mints! This time, a third fair haired fairly attractive female Officer, is keen to offer Rimmer some help with finding the mints, but he is quick enough to decline, and he gets the hell out of the Captain's Dinner party, while he still can! And the third female Officer looks very disappointed indeed! However in the meantime, Rimmer is desparate to shake off the effects of the sexual magnetism virus, no matter what! And he is walking in a very strange way indeed, down the corridors, but most of the women in the corridor, seem impressed, by his sexual magnetism, and they keep on saying: "Hi Arnie!". Another scene shows Rimmer in an office, desparately trying to flatten a certain part of his anatomy, with a ten pound lump hammer, but it doesn't seem to work obviously, because Rimmer states: "It's no good! This stuff is like an aphrodisiac!".
But we move on to some more technical scenes, which seem to be an entirely different world away from Rimmer's sexual experiences! All of the Dwarfer's, are now in their lilac prison uniforms, and they are situated in what seems to be a very dark and dinghy area. From what we have worked out, this is their first day in Prison, and they are also surrounded by another batch of inmates, also kitted out, in their pink uniforms. There is a bald man in charge, and he states very simply to one and all, in a very deep and surreal voice: "Welcome to the Tank!". But in the meantime, Lister holds up a tube, with the sexual magnetism virus obviously still in there, and just like a little cherub, he pours it all over Rimmer for a laugh! And suddenly a load of male hands, are rubbing themselves with pleasure, all over Rimmer's body! And the expression on Rimmer's face is filled with fear and trepidation! Obviously!
I honestly feel, that Rimmer might have got out of his predicament somehow, just in the nick of time, when it actually came down to it, at the end of the day! But it was probably more the humiliation of being mauled, by all of those cons, that probably upset him, anyway! But I really don't want to know, what happened to Rimmer afterwards, when it actually came down to it, at the end of the day!
One very short scene is situated in Captain Hollister's Office, where Hollister is doing some serious work, via his computer and the message on the computer screen, states quite simply: INTELLIGENT HOLLY, and a separate shot shows Hollister, doing some more serious work, via his computer, and the message reads quite simply: SENILE HOLLY. And therefore, that would definitely indicate to the audience concerned, that there are two Holly's (or Hollies if one prefers!), on board the Dwarf, and the nanobots must have resurrected the intelligent Holly, and the senile Holly, even though he hasn't got his female appearance back is obviously the Holly, who survived three million years! We later discover, that the Intelligent Holly is very different to the Senile Holly in appearance, via the rest of that particular scene. Via computerised generated effects, the top of Holly's receding hairline is very long indeed, and his eyes and the rest of his features look weird and surreal, etcetera. It does not explain why he doesn't look like he originally did in Red Dwarf I and Red Dwarf II, but I have since worked it out, that Doug Naylor obviously wanted to differentiate the Intelligent Holly from the senile Holly. I don't know, if that will satisfy any Dwarfer's out there, who are really into the Red Dwarf Plot Inconsistencies Project, when they come across this review, but it may be worth a try, anyhow!
It was also quite obvious to see, that the character of Holly played by
Norman Lovett wasn't going to differ all that much, from Nanarchy:
Episode VIII, Red Dwarf VII, and that it would be Norman who was going to be
Holly throughout Red Dwarf VIII, rather than alternate with Hattie Hayridge, as I had heard, that there might be rumours, that
she was going to be appearing in Red Dwarf VIII, alongside Norman, which would
have been great! But that said, I have heard a rumour, that Hattie may appear
in the Red Dwarf movie, alongside Norman Lovett, which I definitely feel, may
be a probability, this time, because don't get me wrong, I like Norman as
Holly, and I think in all honesty, considering such a lengthy absence from Red
Dwarf, when he appeared in Nanarchy: Episode VIII,
Red Dwarf VII, onwards. It was really like he had never left, when it actually
came down to it, at the end of the day! But I do prefer Hattie Hayridge as Holly, because I felt, that her portrayal of
Holly, stood out far more than Norman's did, even though she was only in it for
three series of Red Dwarf, when it actually came down to it, at the end of the
day! But that said,
We have since worked out, that even though the crew have been resurrected by the Nanobots, a lot of them, in our opinion, do not seem all there somehow, and it is quite obvious, that the Nanobots, did not, resurrect their personalities, one hundred percent, and the Prisoners who occupy the Prison Colony are judged to be insane, which is quite obvious, via another very short technical scene, where three of the Dwarfer's are now having their meals in the canteen. They are Kryten, Cat and Kochanski, and they are wearing different prison uniforms, which consists of yellow inflated jackets, which make them look, like they are on a sailing boat, but they are not on a sailing boat, obviously! Again, the Prison Canteen, is not a very nice place to be in, and it looks like a very dark and dingy place, indeed. I have also since worked out, that there is a lot of The Last Human in Red Dwarf VIII, especially where the Prison Colony is concerned, which is just as foreboding as the Prison Colony in The Last Human, where Lister was put in a great big pool and cryogenically frozen, so he could exist in a landscape of his nightmares, and I did assume, before I saw Red Dwarf VIII, that was what the scene, where the Dwarfer's and the rest of the new intake, were all welcomed to the Tank, and that the Prison Guards were going to dump the inmates into a tank and cryogenically freeze them, because the Tank's main compound looked like a very steamy place, from the little that we saw of it, via the monitors, but that is not the case, and the Prison Colony, in Red Dwarf VIII, is a hell-hole in it's own right, anyway, as you will soon find out, when you watch Red Dwarf VIII! However, the three Dwarfer's are in this queue, behind a very big built man indeed, in fact, the man is the size of a gigantic brick wall, when it actually comes down to it, and he is not in a very good mood! And so, the three Dwarfer's are in the queue, wating for their main meal of the day, but for some reason the Cat has upset the very big built man, and he ends up trying to insert the Cat's head into a food dispenser, which is built like a microwave oven, and it's opening is like a slit, and the Cat is in a very uncomfortable position indeed! The gigantic man is being very abusive indeed, but fortunately his ill-treatment of the Cat doesn't go on for too long, thank goodness, because the gigantic man orders hot Bovril, which you can see, pouring down the poor Cat's face, in his very cramped and uncomfortable position, in the food dispenser! And it seems that Kryten has some device, which freezes the prisoners, including the fat man, which means that the Cat can remove his head from the food dispenser and the Dwarfer's can escape from the canteen. But not before Kryten does something with the device to the man's food, and as a consequence, it seems that the prisoners have forgotten all about the Dwarfer's, just like that, but we see the man who is now sitting with his friends and it seems that there is now a live chicken on the table, creating havoc, which was obviously created by the device! And, finally, the gigantic man, received, a punch on the face, via one, of his Fellow Prisoners, into the bargain!
The next couple of scenes, we saw, were done, via a combination of pre-recorded technical work and live action, but again, we only saw these scenes recorded, via the monitors, anyhow. But the first scene, we saw, was technical, and the Dwarfer's are all situated in Blue Midget, which was exactly the same interior set, which was also used, for the 1998 Children In Need Red Dwarf sketch! But I had assumed, at the time, that it was the new interior set for Starbug, when we saw the 1998 Children In Need Red Dwarf sketch last year, which was very good, but I did feel, that when we saw the exterior model shot sequence, that it looked rather different to Starbug! But this was the new interior set design for Blue Midget, which it seems, is being utilized for Red Dwarf VIII, rather than Starbug, which I would have preferred, them to use actually, as again, I have never been a great fan of the Blue Midget models, as they were utilized more, for Red Dwarf I and Red Dwarf II, and very briefly, in Bodyswap: Episode IV, Red Dwarf III, and it was sort of re-introduced for Blue: Episode V, Red Dwarf VII, but I was always interested in Blue Midget, because I did ask Mel Bibby at Dimension Jump 1995, what he thought, about the original interior set design of Blue Midget, for Red Dwarf I and II, which I had thought, seemed rather ahead of it's time, anyhow! But he stated, that he had not been involved, with the original set design of Blue Midget, and that, he has only being involved, with the interior set design of Starbug, from Red Dwarf III, onwards. But I daresay, that the new brilliant, and far better and bigger interior set design of Blue Midget for Red Dwarf VIII, is all down to Mel Bibby, because it looks a lot brighter and more expanded, than the original interior set design of Blue Midget for Red Dwarf I and Red Dwarf II! But it needed to be a lot bigger, to accommodate Kochanski, anyway, especially as she was not a regular cast member in Red Dwarf I and II! And I really do feel, that was one of the main reasons, why the new interior set design of Blue Midget had to be updated, to accommodate her, as well, as the Boyz! And Mel did state to me and my husband Paul, that it did look, like a very dark and a very cramped set, in it's day, and when he had originally designed the interior set for Starbug, he had intended to make it bigger and better, for the cast to work around in, a bit more, anyway. And now that I have seen Red Dwarf VIII, I really do feel, that Blue Midget has a far better interior set, than it did, for Red Dwarf I and Red Dwarf II!
Additional: The new Blue Midget model, that was used for Red Dwarf VIII had also been used in the remastered version of Thanks For The Memory: Episode III, Red Dwarf II, which we have got on the Red Dwarf A-Z, but the cockpit of Blue Midget, remained the same, for the remastered version of Thanks For The Memory: Episode III, Red Dwarf II. For more information with regard to the remastered versions of Red Dwarf I to III, please refer to my more indepth review of Red Dwarf VIII, which covers the first three episodes: Back In The Red I to III, only!
All of the Dwarfer's, apart from Rimmer, including the two Skutters:
Bob and Madge are all seated inside Blue Midget. They all start off by wearing
these funny dark wigs and awful keyboard teeth, complete with white overalls. I
vaguely remember that now, but it brought it all back to me, once I saw the
second part of Back In The Red, when you find out, that they were pretending to
be the Duane Dibbley family, so they could escape
from Red Dwarf, but it did not really make much sense to us, at the time, when
I saw that particular scene filmed, why they were all looking like Duane Dibbley! To be honest, Duane Dibbley
is not exactly a favourite character of mine, and my favourite alter-egos of
the Cat are the Padre' in Dimension Jump: Episode V, Red Dwarf IV and the
Riviera Kid in Gunmen Of The Apocalypse: Episode III,
Red Dwarf VI! My sincere apologies to Danny John-Jules, if he ever reads this
review of mine! I hope that you can forgive me, Danny! But seriously though, I
really did feel, that Duane Dibbley was a far better
alter-ego, in Emohawk - Polymorph II: Episode IV, Red
Dwarf VI, than the alter-ego, the Cat had in Polymorph: Episode III, Red Dwarf
III, because even though Danny's impression of Jimi
Hendrix was very good, indeed, I felt, in all honesty, that particular
alter-ego of the Cat, would have been very limited, indeed, had that particular
alter-ego been utilized for: Back To Reality: Episode VI, Red Dwarf V, Emohawk - Polymorph II: Episode IV, Red Dwarf VI, and for
Can't Smeg, Won't Smeg,
which was part of The Red Dwarf Tenth Anniversary evening, during 1998, instead
of Duane Dibbley! And he does have his moments, of
course! But I do understand, that the Padre' was to have had a few more lines
in Dimension Jump: Episode V, Red Dwarf IV, especially as they are in the
original script of Dimension Jump: Episode V, Red Dwarf IV! And those
additional lines for the Padre' are featured in the Red Dwarf: Primordial Soup
scripts book by Rob Grant and Doug Naylor! And not, only that, I have, since
discovered, via an interview, that Danny John-Jules, had done, for: The
Official Red Dwarf Club's: Fanzine: Better Than Life, that the Padre' , was originally, going to be, a Maintenance Cleaner,
on the Mimas Base. But apparently, Rob Grant and Doug
Naylor, had originally thought, that it would have made it look racist, if
Danny had been given the alter-ego of a black Maintenance Cleaner! But I
honestly didn't think so! And I really do feel, that
they could have got round that, somehow! But I also feel, that the Padre' is
very loosely based on Uncle Remus in Song From The South! So, it depends upon, how you look at it,
really! And in my Alternative Red Dwarf Fan Fiction, I have given the Cat, the
alter-ego of Curt a supersonic test engineer, and he hails from
And so, back to the plot, where the Dwarfer's with the exception of Rimmer are all escaping on Blue Midget. But they cannot leave the Dwarf, without security clearance, because an attractive black woman, in a black uniform with the intials JMC on the neck in silver letters and Jupiter Mining Corporation written on the front of the uniform, which is also in silver letters, and the top part of the arms of the uniform, have got pretty red and silver stripes, which only go round the arms, but they make the uniform look quite effective all the same, suddenly appears on a screen, alongside a load of other JMC Ground controllers, whom you never see, but they are there, nevertheless! And the point of the matter is, the Dwarfer's cannot leave, without security clearance! Lister makes jokes about Major Tom to Ground Control, but the attractive black woman, is not having it, and therefore, the Cat who has instantly decided that she is indeed the woman of his dreams, decides to prove that he can fly Blue Midget, once and for all, and go out on a date with her, if he is lucky! Quite surprisingly however, the black woman is impressed by the Cat's sense of humour, but again, she still needs reassurance, that he can fly a Blue Midget. The Cat is still not prepared to give up, as easily, as all that! And he states, that of course, he can make Blue Midget fly! To cut a long story short, the Cat jumps out of Blue Midget, somehow, and into the Cargo bay! His white overall and Duane Dibbley wig and teeth, have completely disappeared, and he is now resplendent in a shiny blue sparkling suit, which I think, is the one, that he wore, in Nanarchy: Episode VIII, Red Dwarf VII, and he does a brilliant dance, complete with a set of false teeth, which accompanies the music, via their chattering, which in turn, causes a set of Blue Midget's to start leaping around the Cargo bay! I must stress, that when I first saw this dance at Shepperton, I wasn't all that impressed, because I did not think, that it was comparable, to the success of the original Tongue Tied, and because I had heard, via various reports, that the Cat was going to do a song and dance sequence for Red Dwarf VIII, I did expect the Cat, to do a song and dance sequence, that would be very similar to the original Tongue Tied, and what is more, it was only a dance routine, anyhow. But I had to say, that when I first saw Back In The Red III: Episode III, Red Dwarf VIII, that seeing that dance sequence, in the privacy of my own home, and once, that I had got the gist of the story a bit more, I felt, that even though, the new dance sequence, could not compete with Tongue Tied, I did think, that it had a lot to offer, for the Cat, and that, it was about high time, that he did a dance routine on Red Dwarf, again, anyhow, especially after it had been such a long time, since Parallel Universe: Episode VI, Red Dwarf II, anyway! And in a sense, I felt that it wouldn't be right, for the Cat, to do a song and dance sequence, like Tongue Tied, all over again, and I have heard, that even though the Fans, of Red Dwarf, have really loved the impact of Tongue Tied over the years, they have also felt, that if the Cat were to do another song and dance routine on Red Dwarf, that he should do something completely different. And as I have admired Danny's musical career, over the years, it just went to prove that new dance sequence, which he did for Back In The Red III: Episode III, Red Dwarf VIII, just went to prove in my mind, that Danny John-Jules is very versatile, as a dancer, indeed! And since I have seen Red Dwarf VIII, I have also understood, that Charles Augins choreographed, that particular scene, in question. And as we all know, Charles Augins also played Queeg in Queeg: Episode V, Red Dwarf II, plus the fact, that he also choreographed Tongue Tied, as well, and he also played Blind Pew in Treasure Island, along with Hetty Baynes, who also played the cockpit computer in Dimension Jump: Episode V, Red Dwarf IV. And also to his credit, Charles Augins was also Danny John-Jules' dance instructor, and Danny stated in an interview, in a Science Fiction magazine, that Charles used to shout at him and his fellow dancer friends, but it was all in good fun really, and it all encouraged them to work very hard, when it actually came down to it, at the end of the day! And Danny also stated in that particular interview, that Charles was really good for the part of Queeg, because his forceful manner, was very effective for the part of Queeg!
And with that, our fellow Dwarfer's have all been
granted flight clearance, by the attractive black woman, and not only that, it
looks as if the Cat has got a date with her, when he can fit it in around his
schedule, that is! The rest of the Dwarfer's are
suddenly back in their normal clothing, Lister was wearing his scruffy light
brown space overalls, complete with long johns, and Kochanski,
as far as I could tell, was wearing a black 'T' shirt (only her hair had seemed
to grow longer, and she had also had it tinted, a very light shade of blonde!),
which came as quite a surprise, to see her character in clothing, completely
different to the red PVC outfits, which she had worn for Red Dwarf VII and
Can't Smeg, Won't Smeg. But
I have to admit, that I was disappointed by the cotton version of her red
outfit, in Can't Smeg, Won't Smeg,
which was part of The Red Dwarf Tenth Anniversary evening, during 1998, because
I didn't feel, that it had quite the same impact, as it had for Red Dwarf VII,
and I think, that is why they needed to change Kochanski's
image, for Red Dwarf VIII! And Chloe Annett, had stated at Dimension Jump 1997,
that the red PVC outfits, that she had worn, for Red Dwarf VII, would be
cotton, for any future series of Red Dwarf, because it had been very hot, when
they had filmed Red Dwarf VII, and she had been very uncomfortable, to say the
very least! But I must say, that I did miss the way, that
she had looked in Red Dwarf VII, when I first got into Red Dwarf VIII! But
again, it is something that you have got to get used to after a time! But Chloe
had also explained, at the Red Dwarf Dimension Jump Red Dwarf 1997 Convention,
that her natural hair colour is ash blonde, and that she had washed her hair,
just before Red Dwarf VII went into production, with a very dark wash in and
wash out colour, for a party
with some friends, just before Red Dwarf VII, went into Production, and no
matter how she tried, she just couldn't wash, the dark hair colour
out! She had stated, that the Hairdresser, couldn't do anything with her
hair, apart from putting it in a bun and slicking it back, but I felt, that her
hair looked very effective, when she was on Red Dwarf VII, and that it really
did make her character stand out, that little bit more, which had given, Kochanski,
a rather Classy image, and it had made, her look, very glamorous,
indeed! And Chloe, had also claimed, that her own friends, didn't recognise
her, when she was in: Red Dwarf VII! But when the dark wash in hair colour
eventually washed out, Kochanski was able to have her
hair down, once again! And Chloe Annett's natural hair colour
is very similar to C.P (Clare) Grogan's (the original Kochanski),
and that is how she got the part, because Chloe Annett was the only actress,
who had auditioned for the part, who had a very similar resemblance to the
original Kochanski, even though it isn't a very
obvious resemblance to the original Kochanski,
anyhow. But fans of Crime Traveller will also note,
that the character of Holly Turner, played by Chloe Annett ('s), hair colour, including the length of her hair, was more or less
like it is, from the Red Dwarf Tenth Anniversary spoof: Can't Smeg, Won't Smeg, onwards, which
was a send up of Can't Cook, Won't Cook, which featured Ainsley
Harriot as himself, especially as he originally
starred as the Gelf Chief in Emohawk
- Polymorph II: Episode IV, Red Dwarf VI. For Can't Smeg,
Won't Smeg, Kochanski wore
a cotton version of her red PVC uniform, but it had looked very dowdy, indeed,
and it was nowhere near as glamorous, as the red PVC uniform, that she had
worn, during Red Dwarf VII, and that was probably why, Doug Naylor had revamped
Kochanski's image, for Red Dwarf VIII, anyhow! And
please bear in mind, that not everybody has seen every single series of Red
Dwarf or has got every copy on video of Red Dwarf available, like the avid
fans, and I have also discovered, that Red Dwarf VIII attracted a new
generation of young viewers, who hadn't seen a series of Red Dwarf, in their
lives, and therefore, Red Dwarf was completely new to them! And I have also
discovered, that now Rimmer was back for the the whole of the eighth series of Red Dwarf, there was no
need for Kochanski to be so dominant and so bitchy,
towards the Dwarfer's like she had been for Red Dwarf
VII. And therefore, it was deemed necessary for Kochanski
to have more of a background role for Red Dwarf VIII! But that said, I did feel, that Kochanski was a
lot better, in Red Dwarf VIII, than I thought she would be, and I felt, that
Chloe handled her background role, very well, indeed! And it also seemed, that
she was more closer to the Kochanski in Red Dwarf I
and II played by Clare Grogan, only she was a lot more defined, and as Lister
was still crazy about her, she was back to been a dream icon, once again,
especially as he got separated from her, such a lot, in this series, and not
only that, she was also a lot more closer, to the Kochanski
in Red Dwarf: The Last Human by Doug Naylor. With regard to Kochanski's
image, she only wore the black 'T' shirt and khaki clothes for Back In The Red
I to III, Episodes I, II and III and Only The Good: Episode VIII, Red Dwarf
VIII, and apart from her grey uniform, which also consisted of trousers, which
she also wore for Back In The Red I to III, which incidentally, was by far, a
much better uniform, than the one, which Clare Grogan had worn for Red Dwarf I
to II, even though Rob Grant and Doug Naylor, did give her, a sort of action
girl image for Psirens: Episode I, Red Dwarf VI. But
for Red Dwarf VIII, Kochanski was mainly confined to
her lilac prison uniform, like Rimmer, Lister, the
Cat and Kryten, with the exception, however, of Pete
I and Pete II: Episodes VI and VII, Red Dwarf VIII, where she did wear a red
halter top (and just plain white trousers, complete with a green sash, which
she had also utilized for The Red Dwarf Children In Need sketch), which was
very loosely based, on the red dress, that Kochanski
had worn in Duct Soup: Episode IV, Red Dwarf VII, which Lister had given her,
as an advance birthday present. And Kochanski also
wore, her red halter top and white trousers, complete with a green sash, which
she had also utilized for The Red Dwarf Children In Need sketch. And that was
the only time in Red Dwarf VIII, where her image closely resembled the Kochanski, in Red Dwarf VII! And as for the Cat and Kryten, they were basically still the same, where their
costumes, were concerned. Cat was clad in his black and white zebra suit, and Kryten, was Kryten! But during
Red Dwarf VIII, the red cotton costume, that Chloe had worn for Can't Smeg, Won't Smeg, didn't actually
feature, as part of her wardrobe, and I felt, in all honesty, that they were
right, not to use that particular costume, in question, for Red Dwarf VIII, as
I felt, that it didn't look, as nearly as good, as her red PVC uniforms, that
she had worn, for Red Dwarf VII! But I do understand, that the wardrobe team were merely experimenting, with the casts image for Red
Dwarf VIII, via Can't Smeg, Won't Smeg,
and sometimes, you have to give these things a try, and see how they go! But I
did feel, in all honesty, that Kochanski's image, for
Can't Smeg, Won't Smeg, was
more than sufficient enough, at the time, anyhow.
With regard to Kochanski's hair for Red Dwarf VIII, her hair was mainly
her own ash blonde colour, which Chloe had described
as been her natural hair colour at Dimension Jump
1997, apart from The Red Dwarf Children In Need sketch and Pete I and Pete II:
Episodes VI and VII, Red Dwarf VIII, and therefore, her image had changed, via
her hair, rather than the very dark brown hair image, which she had utilized
for Red Dwarf VII, and the red uniform, that she had worn for Can't Smeg, Won't Smeg, had been
replaced by a red halter top and just plain white trousers, complete with a
green sash, which she had also utilized for The Red Dwarf Children In Need
sketch. But the red halter top, that she wore, was very loosely based, on the red
halter top, which Lister had given her as an advance birthday present in Duct
Soup: Episode IV, Red Dwarf VII. And it was quite obvious to me, via The Red
Dwarf Children In Need sketch, that Kochanski was
been given far more of a glamorous image, for Red Dwarf VIII, which was
very loosely based, on her image, in Red Dwarf VII. But to my surprise however,
Kochanski only wore this particular costume for Pete
I and Pete II: Episodes VI and VII, Red Dwarf VIII, as the time wand had got
them out of prison, and the Dwarfer's had managed to
get their clothes back, because the Cat was wearing his usual black and white
zebra suit, with the exception of Rimmer and Lister
who were still wearing their prison uniforms, only they had got their hair
back, via the time wand.
With regard to Kryten's character, when I saw him at Shepperton, he is still very much like the old Kryten, ever caring and helpful, and he as extremely worried, about the lack of supplies, once they were all clear of the Dwarf, and they must get to a supply ship, as soon as it is possible, for them to do so! Rimmer is concerned, that they may be running out of oxygen, but Kryten insists, that it is even more drastic than that! They have no fabric softener, and he is extremely worried, that the crews woollens, will come out all bibbly bobbly, without the fabric conditioner! I briefly gathered, by what we saw at Shepperton, that Kryten's character is not like it was, in Red Dwarf VII, and that he is far more like, the Kryten that we are familiar with, via Red Dwarf III, Red Dwarf IV, Red Dwarf V and Red Dwarf VI, and that, he has accepted Kristine Kochanski, as part of the crew, at long last! And that his character is far more, in the background for Red Dwarf VIII. But I honestly do feel, that whenever Kryten makes his debut in Red Dwarf VIII, he is always his old sweet self, which I was vastly relieved about, to say the very least! And even though I did feel, that it was a very good idea in theory, to make him a far more domineering character in Red Dwarf VII, it did not really work very well in practice, even though he did have his moments, during Beyond A Joke: Episode VI, Red Dwarf VII, which was in my opinion, one of the best episodes of Red Dwarf VII, which Robert co-wrote along with Doug Naylor. But I really did feel, that Kryten been a far more domineering character, did not work very well, on a long term basis, even though I did feel, that Robert did do a very good job, when it actually came down to it, at the end of the day! But in my general opinion, it just did not suit the Kryten, that we have all come to know and love, over the years!
And so, the Dwarfer's are on their way to freedom, but it isn't quite as simple as all that, but again, where Red Dwarf is concerned, things never are, are they? The Dwarfer's think, that as nobody is following them, that things are just to good to be true, which I also felt myself, when the Cat did his dance to his Dream girl! When you think about it, it did look a little bit unreal, didn't it?! Which makes me think of the virtual reality games that the crew have played before in episodes like: Better Than Life: Episode II, Red Dwarf II, Back To Reality: Episode VI, Red Dwarf V, Gunmen Of The Apocalypse: Episode III, Red Dwarf VI, Stoke Me A Clipper: Episode II, Blue: Episode V and Beyond A Joke: Episode VI, Red Dwarf VII. Not only that, when the Dwarfer's are conversing with one another, their sentences seem to jump, and they are either disjointed or uncompleted, especially one or two sentences, which Lister makes, to have a go at Holly, who seems to have lost it, once again, which are quite rude, especially about two spheroid articles! Or to put it more bluntly, what does the Greek word: Orchis translate in to English?! It isn't just the name of a plant you know! Kochanski also points out, that she feels, that everything has been far too easy for them all, where their escape is concerned, and she does not think that the situation that they are in, is real either, and Lister, and even the Cat, are thinking the same thing as well! They are not in reality! They think that they are trapped in the AR suite on Red Dwarf!
And so they are, and for the moment, this is the end of another technical bit, but they will be back sooner or later! And now it is time to meet the rest of the cast of Red Dwarf, who were needed for the rest of the interlinking sequences! Craig Charles and Chris Barrie came out again, along with the Cat, Kryten, Kochanski and Holly. In other words, Danny John-Jules, Robert Llewellyn, Chloe Annett and Norman Lovett! Lister and Rimmer were still wearing their grey uniforms. The Cat was all resplendent in his white Zebra suit. As far as I could tell Kryten's costume was only slightly different, to what he wore in Red Dwarf VII, only I have since noticed, that it is more black looking, rather than silvery looking and Kochanski was wearing the feminine equivalent of the white uniforms, which we had also seen on the women officers, who were all after Rimmer, in the earlier scenes, that we had seen, especially, via the scene at the Captain's Table. The grey uniform, looks very smart on the women, and it can also be worn with either a skirt or trousers. Kochanski on this occasion was wearing a skirt, with her uniform. I had to admit, that she looked very nice in her grey uniform, but I must admit, that I did prefer the blue uniforms, on Rimmer and Kochanski in Ouroboros: Episode III, Red Dwarf VII, because I felt, that they did look a bit more professional. And I have discovered, since Ouroboros: Episode III, Red Dwarf VII, via the latest edition of The Red Dwarf Programme Guide, that Doug Naylor had never been very happy with the presentation of the costumes in Red Dwarf I and Red Dwarf II. And that, he had decided to give the crew members of Red Dwarf a new look, where their uniforms were concerned, and coupled with the fact, that it was a parallel dimension, it was very easy to explain, the old grey uniforms away, when it actually came down to it, at the end of the day! But Red Dwarf VIII has gone back to the old look of Red Dwarf I and Red Dwarf II, and even though I feel that it is put across more professionally, because the explanation is thus, that the Nanobots resurrected the crew to how they appeared to all concerned, before the radiation leak, so it is essential, that the crew wear those grey uniforms. But again, I have to admit, that I can't help, but prefer, the blue uniforms, that Rimmer and Kochanski wore in Ouroboros: Episode III, Red Dwarf VII. But again, to anyone who comes across this review, please do not let my opinions and criticism, spoil your enjoyment of Red Dwarf VIII!
After all the introductions of the rest of the cast were made, it was time for the rest of the crew to step into the Artificial Reality Suite, with Rimmer observing their movements! Again, we could not see this particular scene live, because it was filmed towards the other side of the set, and therefore, we were confined to seeing it on the monitors. This scene was also interlinked with some technical scenes, as they were still in the process of escaping. The new Artificial Reality Suite on Red Dwarf is a very big Artificial Reality Suite, and the Dwarfer's look like they are all fast asleep, except they are all talking as if they are on Blue Midget and they are also held down by two white plastic arms, which spring open, once they come out of AR. It is a better AR suite than the one on Starbug in Red Dwarf VI, in my opinion, but it is not as good, as the AR suite on Starbug in Red Dwarf VII, which a lot of the fans stated, looked like a smaller version of the AR suite in Back To Reality: Episode VI, Red Dwarf V. A lot of the fans criticised the AR Suite in Red Dwarf VII, because it looked Americanized. And I have to stress, that I did not like the AR suite in Red Dwarf VII, at first, and I did prefer the AR Suite in Red Dwarf VI, but the more that I got into Red Dwarf VII, I worked out the reason exactly why, the set of the AR suite for Red Dwarf VII had to be re-designed. The one reason was the nasty accident that happened to Craig Charles in Gunmen Of The Apocalypse: Episode III, Red Dwarf VI, on Red Dwarf: The Smeg Ups video, and I am not going to go into great detail, about that! I hope by now, that the majority of the fans who have seen Red Dwarf: The Smeg Ups video, would know only too well what accident that I am referring to, which happened to Craig Charles! But to my mind, I felt that particular set looked very unsafe, especially with those metal bars, and groinal pouches, wired everywhere! And as the technology of the Artificial Reality Suite, has developed quite a bit, since Red Dwarf VI, and in the real world, especially where computer technology, has advanced, over the past five years or so, since Red Dwarf VI, was filmed, and especially, where the internet is concerned! It was quite obvious, in my mind, that the AR Suite on Starbug, needed to be re-designed, and as the cast had all been happier, with the sit down arrangement, via the AR Suite in Back To Reality: Episode VI, Red Dwarf V, so it was quite obvious, that the same principle, would be used for Red Dwarf VII, one day! I really loved the shiny way, that Lister's groinal pouch flickered, with the lights, in Stoke Me A Clipper: Episode II, Red Dwarf VII, and the way, that the headsets came down on the crew, and the way, that they all genuinely looked asleep in Beyond A Joke: Episode VI, Red Dwarf VII, looked very ahead of it's time, when it actually came down to it, at the end of the day! However, the one thing, that did let the AR Suite down in Red Dwarf VII, was that it had been far too dark, and all the shots, should not have been filmed from such a great distance, which did give that particular set, far too much of an Americanized look, and X Files feel! And I have seen shots of the Red Dwarf VII AR Suite in various Science Fiction magazines, which were aimed very closely at the cast, and the set looked a lot lighter, via the photography stills, but if that particular set, had looked as light, as it had on film, like it had done, via photography stills, I feel in all honesty, that it would have been appreciated, a whole lot more, when it actually came down to it, at the end of the day! So, all the Dwarfer's are in suspended animation, held by the plastic arms. Not only that, they are also been witnessed by Captain Hollister, via a wall of monitors. We gathered the bit, with Hollister was technical. And once again, the Dwarfer's, with the exception of Rimmer, are back on Blue Midget. Again, this scene was entirely technical, but this time, the Dwarfer's are determined, to find an escape route, via the AR Suite, because their speech and actions are jumping all over the place, and that means, that as they are all finally aware, that this is not reality, it looks as if they have corrupted the AR Machine setup, somehow. The Cat seems very matter of fact, and he is really determined, to find a way out of the AR Suite, and he has noticed, some Roman numerals, on the control panel, which he states in quite an informative manner, that XI translates as EXIT, which is a clue to help them get out of the AR Suite! Lister is convinced, that this is definitely not reality, or the Cat, wouldn't be quite as intelligent, as all that! But as he has found the way out of the AR Suite, and the Dwarfer's are all convinced, that their escape is their trial, but they must get out of the AR Suite once and for all, and all the Cat has got to do is, to get them out of their situation is to press the EXIT button, which is definitely their escape route, and Kochanski, orders the Cat to press the EXIT button. Cat presses the EXIT button, and suddenly everything goes on a downwards theme, like they are going down a chute. But it isn't exactly a chute, as such, it is just a lot of lines, going downwards, but the way, that the special effects team, have got that particular effect working, is very clever indeed, and the Dwarfer's were no longer, on Blue Midget! In fact, they were nowhere, at all! In fact, they were not even themselves, so to speak! They had suddenly taken on, the appearance of plasticine characters, in an Arctic Landscape, with a little pool, and an Igloo! And the Dwarfer's all look like a cross between the plasticine models in Shakespeare The Animated Tales and Pingu! Seriously though, I have since read in a Science Fiction magazine, that the special cartoon for Red Dwarf VIII, even though it was only a very short cartoon, which was made by an Italian, had been, quite expensive to make, which was exactly the same case with Wallace And Gromit by Nick Park. And I had heard, that there were only so many Wallace and Gromit cartoons, about, because they were very expensive to make, because that particular kind of animation, is very hard and fiddly to do, and it took Nick Park, a couple of years just to do one cartoon, and more importantly, than that, they cost a lot of money! But if there were never any more series of Red Dwarf, I certainly think that a cartoon version of it, would be a feasible option, and there are cartoons of Star Trek, but why not for Red Dwarf? And I did get in touch with The Official Red Dwarf Fan Club about this, and I was informed, that the cartoons, that are made in Great Britain, are aimed at children, and with Red Dwarf's adult humour, they really think, that it may not work, as a cartoon! But that said, I really do not think, that the cartoon of Where The Wind Blows, works, as a childrens cartoon! Incidentally the cartoon: Where The Wind Blows is about an old couple, having to cope with the aftermath of a nuclear war! I have seen, that particular cartoon, in question, myself, and I was very upset, after I saw it, and I definitely do not feel, that children, should be allowed to see it, and it made me so angry, that it just wasn't true! The one thing, that upsets me, more than anything in this life, is sheer ignorance, and the cartoon: Where the Wind Blows is a sheer example of peoples ignorance! And I do not remember, seeing cartoons like that, when I was a child! Personally, I did feel, that Where The Wind Blows, was very well-presented, especially with the voice overs, of John Mills and Peggy Ashcroft. And again, what I am stating, is, just a general opinion, of how I felt, about that particular cartoon, at the time! And I really do feel, that it probably appeals to some people, but I am just not one of those people, okay! Everyone is entitled to an opinion, and I really do feel, that Where The Wind Blows is not really suitable for children, and that it is probably far more suitable, for an adult audience, anyway. And I have always been very sensitive about the subject of a nuclear war. And I used to live in fear of the Bomb, right up until Perestroika or Glasnost, etcetera. And even now, I still worry about the Bomb! It's just me, being all anti-war, etcetera. I cannot stand the thought of violence in this world, okay!
However, now I have got my political views off my chest, the point, that I am making is, that I think, that one day, Red Dwarf could work, as a cartoon on a regular basis, in this country and abroad, if there was never another series! I will still not rule, that out, as a possibility! And I think, in all honesty, that it could be worked around children, somehow, if they keep certain adult jokes out of it, and who necessarily states, that a cartoon of Red Dwarf has got to be aimed at children, anyway, when it actually comes down to it, at the end of the day?! They must have worked it out, with the Star Trek cartoons somehow, and they do have the original Star Trek crew, along with Captain Kirk in it, and there was certain adult content, in the original Star Trek series, as Captain Kirk seemed to have quite a lot of girlfriends, even though it was all done, in the best possible taste, of course! And I honestly feel, that a cartoon of Red Dwarf, with limited adult humour, could work one day! At the end of the day, it is entirely up to the people, behind the cartoons, to work out, how their storylines, present themselves! And there are the Red Dwarf cartoon picture strips in the Smegazine and The Official Red Dwarf Fan Club's Fanzine: Better Than Life, and I think, the way, that the people behind them, have worked around, the adult humour, of them, pretty well, actually!
Anyway, without any further ado, back to the plot: The Dwarfer's, who had all suddenly turned into, plasticine animated figures, and they were all stuck, in an Arctic Landsape, with an Igloo and a little pool. They all asked themselves, where they are of course, and Kryten automatically works out, that they have all ended up in the screensaver, of the AR Machines mainframe! Lister is looking, for some food, in the Arctic Pool, but to everybody’s, complete and utter horror, an Evil, Nasty Looking: Shark, had opened, his mouth, and he, had ended up, swallowing, Lister! Could this, be the end, of Dave Lister, as we know it?! Have no fear, the poor Evil, Nasty Looking: Shark, had suddenly, spat Lister out, of his mouth, and a Flying Cherub, complete, with dreadlocks, had only gone, and hurtled him, right up, into, the air! When I had first seen, the Cartoon, I could not, help saying, to my husband: Paul - "Oh my God! Even, the Shark, is disgusted, with him!". Which is quite obvious, to all concerned! After Lister has safely landed, on the Arctic surface, safely intact, the Cat moves into the igloo, but Kochanski, seems to be on the alert, as per usual, and she suggests, that what they need, is a power source, so they can turn the AR machine off. The Cat pulls out a bottle of red sauce, from the igloo, and then the effects of the chute, comes back, once again. And the Dwarfer's find themselves all awake, in the AR Suite again, and what is more, the white plastic arms, that are holding them down, all suddenly spring open, and they are free!
I have to say, before I go into the next scene, that even though the cartoon
was very short and sweet, it was very effective, for that particular scene, in
question! But I think, that it could have been, a little bit longer, somehow,
and I think, that they could have got Rimmer involved
with it, as well! But as I have stated, just now, it was a very costly cartoon
to make, that the people behind it, had to make the best, of the budget
allocated to them, and again, there is only so much airing time, that the BBC
will allocate for Red Dwarf, but I definitely wouldn't rule out, that there is
probably an extended version of the Red Dwarf cartoon, on the cutting room
floor somewhere, which may be used, at a later date, as extended material for
Red Dwarf VIII, when it is eventually released on video. Well, I will
definitely look out for an extended version of that particular cartoon, in question,
anyway! But considering the airing time, that was allocated for that cartoon,
the presentation of it, stood out really well, especially where Red Dwarf VIII
was concerned, anyway! And Craig Charles is certainly no stranger, to voicing
over a cartoon! I have got Asterix Conquers
Anyway, I will go into the rest of the scene in the AR machine, without any further ado. The rest of the Dwarfer's are now released from the AR machines, and Lister has suddenly noticed Rimmer, observing their movements! He informs him of what a slimy Judas he is, but he has barely finished his sentence, when the camera pans in on Kochanski, and her eyes do not seem to be focusing properly, and it is quite obvious, to one and all, that the expression on her face is not normal, and what is more, she has got her eyes on Rimmer! Yes, folks the effects of the sexual magnetism virus on Rimmer have not worn off yet! Kochanski who is suddenly been held back by Lister and the Cat, orders them to let her at him, because she can't get over his nostril flared nose, and what is more, she wants his babies!
That particular scene was technical, and Denny Hodge stated, to know what is going to happen next, and if Kochanski is going to have her wicked way with Rimmer, you will have to wait until the crew and cast are ready to film the interlinking scene!
In the meantime, Norman Lovett who was wearing a black polo jumper, all ready for his live scene, like Craig Charles treated us all to some of his stand up material and he was kind enough to ask anyone in the audience, if they would like to sit at the front. Me, being ever keen to see more of the cast and crew, put my hand up, chancing my luck, but Norman stated in his cheery manner - "Not you! You're at the bloody front!". Well, it was worth a try, wasn't it?! A couple moved closer to the front, and they even had the chance to sit with the cast, for the last technical scene, and it is always traditional for the cast of Red Dwarf to sit at the front with the audience, for the last scene, because I noticed that in: The Making Of Red Dwarf by Joe Nazzaro, in a photograph that was featured in the book, Craig Charles sat amongst the audience, who seemed really pleased to have him sitting amongst them! I also thought that Danny John-Jules looked very nice in his Zebra striped costume, when he was standing at the side of the studios, and I was amazed to see the fangs of his teeth, shining! I have to say, that the Cat looked just as good in the flesh, as he does on the silver screen, for any of you admirers of the Cat, who may be reading this report, that is!
Again, the next scene was filmed live, but yet again, it was towards the back of the set, and again, we were reduced to watching it on the monitors, but again, I really felt, that we were more than justified of seeing the cast in the flesh anyway, so you couldn't complain really! Anyway, without any further ado, the Dwarfer's have managed to get on to Blue Midget somehow, and are Lister and the Cat are still holding Kochanski down, who is fighting like a Tigress now, and she is determined to have her wicked way with Rimmer, no matter what! They are all in an area of Blue Midget which is a brown dingy area, with monitors all around the walls, which is reminiscent of the mid-section of Starbug, which was featured in Red Dwarf VI and Red Dwarf VII. Rimmer is backing as far away, as he can, from Kochanski, but it is no good, they cannot hold her down forever, and it will be too late, to stop her, sooner or later! Kryten suggests using the luck virus against the sexual magnetism virus, and they will all have to wait and see, if his luck will swing for him the right way, and see if it will cure him of the effect, of the sexual magnetism virus, against any woman in general! It is his lucky day, Rimmer swallows the luck virus, and the effects of the sexual magnetism virus have died down, at long last, and Kochanski suddenly regains her senses, and she cannot believe, that she could have lusted after Rimmer, like that! Unfortunately however, Rimmer wishes that his luck, could have held out, a little bit longer, and he doesn't think himself as lucky, when he could have had his wicked way with her! However, Lister decides that as they all making their escape, that Rimmer could be in serious trouble, with the crew of Red Dwarf, because he has quite unwittingly helped them, to make their escape, and even though he is not the Rimmer, whom they all used to know, he is still Rimmer, when it actually comes down to it, at the end of the day! But Rimmer still wants the opportunity to become an Officer, when all is said and done, but Lister manages to convince him, that he is above all that, and that he would never fit in with the Officer clique, anyway. But Rimmer thinks, that he would be missing out on, all of the induction ceremonies, that you have to go through with, when you become an Officer, but Lister keeps on insisting, that they are all a bunch of losers, and that he would just not fit in with them, as he is different, and that when they had had the hologram Rimmer with them, that he had achieved far more, by being dead, than he would ever have done, by being alive, and that he was virtually an Officer anyway! And what would he have to lose, by legging it, with them?! Somehow, Lister manages to brainwash Rimmer into escaping with them, and how can he not escape with them, when he will have a five pretty buttons to press, and that only he, Arnold Rimmer, will have access to them, at all times! And as the old Rimmer was also Head of Safety, that means that the new Rimmer, will also be entitled to use that title as well! Now, only a complete and utter git, would agree to suggestions, like that, wouldn't he?! And naturally, Rimmer finally agrees to escape with them, and so, the Dwarfer's all make their way to the cockpit of Blue Midget, and this time, they are genuinely making their escape, from Red Dwarf!
However, it is not as simple as all that, and Holly warns them, that they have got problems, and once again, they have got to make their escape, via the Security system on Red Dwarf, and they have got to get clearance from the Ground Controller! But it is not the same Ground Controller, this time! There are a couple of similarities between the Cat's Dream Girl Ground Controller (because at the end of the day folks, that was all she was, the Cat's Dream Girl!) She is a woman, and just like the previous Ground Controller, she is black, but that is where the similarities end! She is not a very attractive black woman! She is middle-aged, and she is wearing a pair of stiff looking glasses, and she is also wearing, what seems to be a blue shower cap, and the same black Ground Controller uniform, which the attractive black Ground Controller wore, and she is also wearing two sets of beaded necklaces as well, which are red and white. Quite surprisingly however, underneath a flashy looking brooch is, another brooch of a little Cat! So, perhaps she is really the Cat's Dream girl after all, in a surreal kind of way! She is also not very well-equipped in the brains department either, and she has got a very strong Jamaican accent, which is closely related to the way to the Padre' spoke in Dimension Jump: Episode IV, Red Dwarf IV, and she really sounds like a character in Tales Of Uncle Remus: Song Of The South! She is definitely not the Cat's idea of a Dream Girl, and when she asks him his name, so she can grant him clearance, and yes it is the Cat, whom she is communicating with! There is also another similarity, between the fantasy escape and the real escape, and the Cat's reply to this is: "Reality Sucks!". The Ground Controller laughs at him and her reply is: "You're called Reality Sucks! How awful for you! Alright Mr Sucks, I will see if I can grant you clearance!". The Ground Controller has definitely taken the Cat's insult literally! Lister orders the Cat to do another smegging dance, and then they can get the hell out of there, but the Cat refuses, because with her, he would have difficulty walking, let alone dancing! But in the meantime, however, they have decided that they are not going to hang around any longer, and intermixed with the live scene, is model footage, where Blue Midget suddenly eases itself up and starts heading towards the Cargo bay doors, which is the way, that the Blue Midget models move in the remastered Red Dwarf I and Red Dwarf II videos! The Ground Controller is in a complete state of panic, as it is quite obvious to one and all, that she cannot find a Mr Reality Sucks in her database files, and her response is: "Mr Sucks, come back! Mr Sucks! Come back!", and without any further ado, Blue Midget goes hurtling towards the Cargo bay doors, and you've guessed it, Blue Midget crashes into the Cargo bay doors, and once they are destroyed, the Dwarfer's are out in to deep space, and this time, they are definitely in the clear! Or are they?
Anyway, that was the end of that particular scene, and Denny announced the name of the actress who plays the Ground Controller. Now, I cannot remember the actresses name, because at the moment, I have no guest star cast information for Red Dwarf VIII, and at a later date, I will include her name in this review, when I come across any relevant Red Dwarf VIII information. She came out to the front like Mac McDonald did, and she gave a bow to the audience.
And so, it was time for the closing scene, which was technical, and this was where I stated earlier that the main cast come and sit at the front with the audience. Once everyone was seated very quickly, the last scene, was played on the monitors.
And so, the Dwarfer's are out in deep space on Blue Midget, and they are all confident, that they are on their merry way, once again! However, it isn't as simple as all that. Lister asks if they can resurrect the Dwarf, via the nanobots, without the newly resurrected crew, and Holly reckons, that they can certainly do that, and they will have their very own Red Dwarf, once again, but that will mean, that there will be two Red Dwarf's, and the fear of the other Red Dwarf and it's evil crew will always be with them! Holly reckons, that they can resurrect the Dwarf on the planet on the monitor, but it turns out to be Holly's head! Yes Folks, you've guessed it, it's another April Fools joke! And Holly adds: "It could be behind a planet, if I wanted it to be, Dudes! You see, I've got to create these little diversions to keep Dave sane, that's why I had the nanobots resurrect the crew in the first place!".
And, with that, that was the end of the final scene of the last episode of Red Dwarf VIII, entitled Earth. And you mean to say, that getting the crew resurrected, was an April Fools jape, just to keep Lister sane! And even Rimmer, still didn't technically exist, and may come back again, as a hologram, at a later date!? And that it had all been some kind of a hallucination or a fantasy to have the crew of the Dwarf back again?! But to have them back again, in a nightmarish way, that Holly would love to have back, just to keep the Dwarfer's back on their toes, and Lister having to share a Prison cell with Arnold Rimmer, would be the ultimate torture, I daresay!
However, I have since discovered, that it wasn't quite as simple as all that, and there was a bit more to that scene, than they were letting on! And in fact, a couple of weeks after we saw Red Dwarf VIII at Shepperton, I contacted Daryl Ball of The Inquisitor Red Dwarf Fanzine in Northern Ireland, and he stated, that there had been another scene filmed, the very week after we had seen the very last episode of Red Dwarf VIII filmed, or what we had thought was the very last episode of Red Dwarf VIII, filmed that is! But I will come back to that, once I conclude this review.
And so, it was time, for everybody, to go home. The main cast of Red Dwarf Series VIII, all made, their final bows, and they left, the Studio. Denny Hodge, on his closing address, had stated, that as, it was, the 4th of December 1998, and that, the last episode, of Red Dwarf I, and Red Dwarf II, had been, broadcast, on the 11th of October 1988, the Tenth Anniversary Celebrations, for Red Dwarf, were now, officially over...
Incidentally, Denny warned the audience not to release any details of the plot of Red Dwarf VIII, via the internet, whatsoever, before it was aired on BBC2, next year, because if they did, they would be in serious trouble! This was because all of the plot details for Back To Reality: Episode VI, Red Dwarf V had been released, by various Journalists, who had appeared on the set of Red Dwarf V, at the time, to various Science Fiction magazines, and therefore, the really avid fans of Red Dwarf knew that the Boyz from the Dwarf, had been under the influence of the Despair Squid, all along, and that they hadn't really been playing in an AR machine game of Red Dwarf for the best part of four years, after all! However, Paul and I originally saw Back To Reality: Episode VI, Red Dwarf V, during the re-runs of Red Dwarf I to VI, during 1994. And we had never seen Back To Reality in the first place, anyhow! And for us, Back To Reality: Episode VI, Dwarf V, was a brand new episode of Red Dwarf, as far as we were concerned! And therefore, we had no idea about the plot details, of that particular episode in question of Red Dwarf V, in the first place, until I read various literature on the show, when I really became an avid fan, of Red Dwarf, anyway! And in a sense, we have felt, that we have not really lost out, by not been fans of Red Dwarf, right from the very start, anyhow!
And finally, the last thing we saw and heard on the monitors, was the very end bar of the Red Dwarf Theme, and just the Grant Naylor Productions Logo, and that, had been, the nearest, to knowing ,what the brand new Theme, for Red Dwarf VIII, was going, to be! Again, they were not giving any secrets to what the brand new Theme would be, for Red Dwarf VIII, especially, as I had heard rumours, via The Official Red Dwarf Fan Club, and the various Science Fiction magazines, that there had been, the possibility, of a brand new Theme for Red Dwarf VIII. But there had also been various rumours spread by The Official Red Dwarf Fan Club, and various Science Fiction Magazines, that there might be the possibility, of a brand new Theme, for Red Dwarf VII, a couple of months, before it aired, but nothing ever came of it, and they still used the same starting and ending Theme, that we have all been familiar with, since Red Dwarf III onwards, up to Red Dwarf VII! And, it came as a complete surprise, when I discovered, that, they were using the same starting and ending Theme for Red Dwarf VIII! But, I daresay, it is what everybody is used to, after all these years, and it would be sacrilege to change it, really, and the majority of comedy Sitcoms, do not necessarily change their starting and ending Themes, anyhow! For Example: Only Fools And Horses has kept the very same starting and ending Theme from the very day, it started! I have since worked out why they haven't changed the starting and ending Theme for: Only Fools And Horses. It is because it is an institution, and the same goes for the starting and ending Theme of Red Dwarf. My husband and I, personally prefer the original starting Theme for Red Dwarf I and Red Dwarf II, and I do not like the way, that the starting and ending Theme, has been messed about with, via the Remastered Red Dwarf Videos, with the exception of Craig Charles doing his Paint Duty of course! In my opinion, the original starting Theme for Red Dwarf I and Red Dwarf II was unique, with it's original style, and I did ask Doug Naylor at the Red Dwarf Dimension Jump 1995 Convention, why it was scrapped in favour of the new Jazzier Theme for Red Dwarf III onwards. And, he stated that people, didn't necessarily think, it was a Science Fiction Comedy, when they heard a starting Theme like that, and would feel that it was, a Serious Science Fiction Series, like Blakes Seven, and because the viewing figures for Red Dwarf I and Red Dwarf II, were so low. Five hundred thousand viewing figures, approximately, which came as quite a surprise really, because I did assume that Red Dwarf, when it started out, would have had two million viewing figures, at the very least! And therefore, at the end of the day, I can understand why, Grant Naylor Productions wanted to give it a new look, but I really feel in all honesty, that the starting Theme to Series I and II of Red Dwarf really had something, when it actually came down to it, at the end of the day!
By this stage, we were extremely tired of sitting on the hard studio seating, and we were glad to be up and about, to say the very least! We guessed that someof the audience would be making their way to the bar with the cast, but it had been a very long day for us both, and it was high time, that we were on our way home. I had a very quick long last closer look, at the sets, but we weren't allowed anywhere near them, unfortunately. I did see, Doug Naylor, towards the front, though. Not many people, had seemed, to recognise him, which had been, quite surprising, really! But as, I had met him, at the Red Dwarf Dimension Jump 1995, and the Red Dwarf Dimension Jump 1997 Conventions, I had recognised him. I would have liked, to have said: “Hallo”, to him, at the very least, as he, had seemed, like a very nice man, when I had met him, at the Red Dwarf Dimension Jump 1995, and the Red Dwarf Dimension Jump 1997 Conventions, and he, had always, been very polite, and helpful, at the time. And, he had been interested, when I had informed him, that I was a Writer, at the Red Dwarf Dimension Jump 1995 Convention. And Doug, had, agreed with me, at the Red Dwarf Dimension Jump 1997 Convention, that the BBC, should definitely, have given them, the extra, airing time, that they, had so, desperately needed, where the three Extended episodes, of Red Dwarf VII, had been concerned, anyhow!
But that was it, we were on our way home, at long last! And it was freezing cold weather, that we faced, in the car park, and fortunately it wasn't too much of a struggle to get out of the multi storey car park, and within moments we were soon back on the M4, and it was a fairly straightforward drive back home, but I was so tired with driving round London, and my husband did insist on stopping at a Service area, but the Restaurant was closed, as we had left it way too late, to have an evening meal, and by that time, I had only just about had the energy to have a bottle of water and a bag of tortilla crisps!
But that was it! Red Dwarf VIII was now a finished project, and after this week, would be ready for editing, and airing sometime in the New Year, which quite surprisingly was not until towards the middle of February 1999, and Red Dwarf VII had been originally aired round about the middle of January 1997!
However, I have not quite finished this review, and with regard to the closing scene, the extra bit, that we did not see, and which I mentioned just now, was filmed the very week after we had seen Red Dwarf VIII live, was the interlinking scene to the final scene of what we saw at Shepperton Studios, which we thought was the very last scene in the final episode of Red Dwarf VIII, entitled: Earth, and we have since worked out was one of the concluding scenes in the third episode of Red Dwarf VIII and the episode was actually entitled: Back In The Red III: Episode III, Red Dwarf VIII. But in a nutshell, we had all been fooled very cleverly, courtesy of Grant Naylor Productions, that was just exactly how Red Dwarf VIII, was going to end! And as we all well know, Holly went on to say in that particular scene, that he had flamingoed up as usual, and that they were still in the AR machine, and the Dwarfer's were still on trial! Including Rimmer, who was totally unaware of it, and he had been leading a normal life, as much as it was possible for him to do so (if you could call the life that he leads is normal by our standards!) But it doesn't go on to explain how he managed to have an exciting sex life into the bargain! But Holly insisted that it was all the fault of the newly resurrected Holly, somehow, and apparently they had all been cleared of their original crime, which as we all know was destroying a Starbug, and unintentionally resurrecting the crew (which is no hallucination, courtesy, which we all find out, from Episode III of Red Dwarf VIII, onwards!), because Hollister had worked out, via the AR Suite, that their intentions were not entirely dishonest ones, and that accidents do happen, and it was quite obvious that Officer Kristine Kochanski had not been kidnapped, because the evidence definitely proved that she was from a parallel universe, which did not explain why there wasn't two Kochanski's and two Lister's come to that, even though there were two Holly's {or Hollies if one prefers!} (which Holly hadn't thought of!), unless they were lurking about on the Dwarf, living entirely different lives, unless the nanobots had thought it best not to resurrect them, as it would probably cause more confusion, that is! But unfortunately, because of the fact that they had all decided to escape, and Rimmer had stolen the sexual magnetism and luck virus, and abused their valuable properties in the process, plus via encouragement from Lister, his stealing confidential records, in the wreckage of Starbug, which would inform him, how the hologram Rimmer had got on, and how Lister had abused the facilities on the Dwarf, which went against them all, and was a crime, which was definitely comparable to High Treason, which would ultimately earn the Dwarfer's two years in the brig!
So, there you have it! A Review of Red Dwarf VIII Live at Shepperton Studios! The bits, from the Red Dwarf VIII Episodes, which we, had seen, had been:
RED DWARF VIII
EPISODE I: BACK IN THE RED: PART I
EPISODE II: BACK IN THE RED: PART II
EPISODE III: BACK IN THE RED: PART II
EPISODE VI: PETE I (ORIGINALLY TITLED: CAPTAINS' OFFICE)
At a later date, I will be doing an independent review of Red Dwarf VIII, which will cover each episode in depth, which will certainly be more comprehensive and more understandable than this review, which is a more specialist and independent review, anyway.
MARIE BIRCH
Marie Birch
January 1999