A REPORT OF DARYL BALL'S DAY, AS A
CONTESTANT, ON RED DWARF ‘UNIVERSE CHALLENGE’, AND THE SET OF CAN’T SMEG, WON’T
SMEG,
FOR THE TENTH ANNIVERSARY OF RED DWARF
BY DARYL BALL
Daryl
Ball is part of the team behind the Northern Ireland Red Dwarf Appreciation
Society. He was also part of the team picked to represent the fans in the Red
Dwarf 'Universe Challenge', part of the Red Dwarf Tenth Anniversary night on
Saturday February 15th 1998. Here's his account of the day he spent on the set!
Those of
you at Dimension Jump 1997 will remember a BBC film crew filming events for
Grant Naylor Productions. Part of the aim of this was to pick a team for a
Tenth Red Dwarf Anniversary Fans Versus cast Quiz.
Well a couple of weeks later I received a phone call from BTL's Bev to tell me
I'd been picked for the team. I couldn't believe it. I was going to spend a day
in the company of the Red Dwarf cast and better still appear on TV with them!
When the
time came to go over, I was accompanied by fellow Dwarfer
Julie Marr. By now my excitement was equally matched by nervousness!
We had a
car sent to collect us from the Airport. Unfortunately by this time I'd
discovered my luggage had been left behind in Belfast. Staff promised me they'd
do their best to trace it (not very reassuring), and with that we headed to our
Hotel. It was a beautiful place and made all the nicer as it was all expenses
paid, for the next two nights. Most of the evening was spent in the Bar,
gradually getting drunk, chatting about what the next day might have in store
and lamenting the loss of my luggage.
Again on
Saturday morning a car was sent to take us to the studios. The first people we
saw were Doug Naylor and Helen Norman who gave us a very cheery Hello. Then it
was into the 'green' room where Sean and Bev introduced me to the others who'd
been chosen. The final team consisted of myself, Steev Rogers, Sharon Burnett, Pip Swallow and Kayley Nichols.
As we
wouldn't be doing our recording until about 8pm we had a great chance to see
what else was happening. The cast started to arrive one by one. Danny was the
first one I spoke with. The others arrived at intervals soon afterwards. They
spent much of the morning, recording interviews.
Meanwhile
in the studio, we watched Chris Barrie do his Jeremy Paxman impression for the
intro part to the Quiz. It took a couple of takes but worked well. Next we were
introduced to Bamber Gascoigne who was to be our Red Dwarf ‘Universe
Challenge’: Quiz Master. Over the course of the day he turned out to be an
incredibly friendly and funny man, really helping to put us at ease.
We
watched them set up and record Bamber's intro segment
which was hilarious! Then it was time for lunch. Assistant Producer Cliff Pinnock talked us over, what format the Quiz would take. It
all sounded quite straightforward, but it still didn't cure my nerves!
After
lunch I took the chance to explore the very impressive sets and take a couple
of pics. I was most impressed with the segment from Starbug, they would be using for the Cookery send up: Can't
Smeg, Won't Smeg.
Danny and
Chris, in full costume, rehearsed and recorded their insert along with TV Chef Ainsley Harriott. This took quite
a few takes but was fun to watch. Thankfully, by this time, my luggage had been
found and sent to me at Teddington Studios.
Spending
the day together, was a good way of getting to know those team members I didn't
know, a little better. They're all a really nice bunch, (Hi Guys!). We were all
given Red Dwarf jackets and 'T' Shirts to wear for the recording, which we were
allowed to keep afterwards.
Next, we
watched, the full Cast, rehearse: Can't Smeg, Won’t Smeg.... This was incredibly funny. Danny was brilliant as
Duane. The whole thing, was chaos, they ended up, with
food, all over them, and the Kitchen, was a disaster! An interesting part, is
where Chloe, hits Craig, with the frying pan. In Rehearsals, they forgot, to
switch, the real frying pan, with the rubber prop! Thankfully, Chloe realised
the mistake, a split second, before actually, making contact. Ouch!
There was
a bit of waiting about after this, while the Cast, prepared for the actual
recording and the Studio audience was let in. By this stage I was chain smoking
due to the strange mix of terror and excitement! We'd had a rehearsal on set
earlier, where the Cast thrashed us! I just hoped we'd be alright on the night.
We also had the opportunity to see the remastered,
The End which looked brilliant.
As the
Cast, recorded their: Can't Smeg, Won't Smeg, in front of the Studio audience, our Team, watched on
a monitor, in the 'Green Room’. It was fun, but it wouldn't be long, 'til we
were out there. The final dishes, served up by the Cast, looked less than
appetising! Poor Chloe, had to actually eat the
stuff!! Even Craig, was actually, physically sick, due to the mixture of
ingredients, he'd been eating raw, as they went along. The audience loved it,
and Ainsley, seemed bewildered. There were a couple
of re-takes, to add to, or improve, a couple of segments, then
they were finished.
It was
now time for us to take our places out front. I think there were about 500
people in the audience. The crew wired us up, did a final check and we were
ready to go. They ran the V.T. intro. Bamber introduced the cast who then
individually introduced themselves. Now the Fans. I
was first. This was the bit we'd all dreaded, introducing ourselves. I managed
to say my name, I glanced around, no strange looks, Good, I'd spoken English!... there'd be no stopping me now! On
with the Quiz. I don't actually remember that many details about the
Quiz. My nerves did disappear though. We took the lead for a while. We were
doing much better, than at rehearsals. The cast pulled it back though, and
started to take a considerable lead. We were all enjoying the competition, but
we had to start to score some points, if we were to retain any credibility. At
last we were closing the gap. There was only 5 points in it, with one question
left. A starter question for 10. The atmosphere was
electric. It was almost without realising, that I hit my buzzer. I'd done it!!
I'd just correctly answered the winning question! I was amazed, surprised,
jubilant, bewildered... What A Team! Another bonus was, that we were allowed to keep the Red Dwarf pens we'd
been given and even keep our name plates off the front panels.
We all
gathered in a back room to celebrate. Our Team, was in
Very high spirits, we could relax now. The Cast, Crew, Family, friends mingled
making the most of the food and drink that had been laid on. I spent some time
chatting with Danny and Robert and gave them a couple of issues of our Fanzine,
'The Inquisitor'. It was the perfect end to a great day.
We made
it back to the Hotel, too late to catch the bar, so we sat about chatting for a
while, before it was finally time for bed.
Next
morning the car took us back to the Airport and in no time, we were home. For
weeks I've been telling anyone who'll listen about my weekend. At the time of
writing, the Tenth Anniversary night hasn't been on yet, so I really can't
wait. Videos ready, Fame At Last!!
Daryl
Ball
December
1997.
This
Document, and Photographs, contained Herein, are Copyright owned by Daryl Ball,
and must NOT, be reposted elsewhere.