Untitled

ON THE GOOD SHIP: LADY CAPTAIN

BY MARIE BIRCH

The story starts off, on a Pirate ship. I know what you're thinking, but it is no normal Pirate ship, well you can hardly call Captain Butler's Pirate ship a normal Pirate ship, can you?! No, it isn't Captain Butler's Pirate ship, but fear ye not, we will catch up, with Butler and his motley crew, very soon! No, this is a Pirate ship with a difference, because, wait for it: The Pirates, are all women! And, it is quite obvious, to one and all concerned, that they are female Pirates! Even Blackbeard, the meanest pirate, of them all, wouldn't fall for that one! However, there is one Pirate ship out there, who doesn't know, that, they're all women pirates, and there are no prizes for guessing, who that Pirate ship out there, is there? And do you know, why there are no prizes for guessing who that pirate ship, belongs to? The answer is: Because you would all think, that it was Christmas time!

To the beholder, on a calm sea, we see a ship, heading in the direction of Tahiti, and this is the ship, which is known, to one and all, as The Good King Wenchelas, but it may look from all outward appearances, as if it is a trading ship, but no, it has been stolen, from the company, which owns it, and therefore, it has since, become a pirate ship, even though in a sense, it has still been maintained, as a trading ship, but then again, the Captain, who is known to one and all, as Captain Lex Manley, would rather it remain that way, as he or rather I should say she, doesn't really want to advertise the fact, that it is a pirate ship! Well, who in their right mind, would do something like that, when it actually comes down to it? I'm pretty sure I wouldn't!

So, without any further ado, the story starts on the deck of the pirate ship, and it is very much a similar scenario to the start of the first episode of Captain Butler - "Death Is Another Word". The Captain Lex Manley, who is standing right in the middle of the deck, and there are four other pirates, hanging on to her every word, only they seem to be a little bit bored, or is it my imagination? No, it isn't my imagination. So, the Captain is telling a story. She seems to have a very refined voice, and her pirate costume consists of a red velvet lace trimmed jacket. She has blue eyes, which you can see, poking out, under a black pirate hat, with sharp and determined defiance. And, she is wearing red pantaloons. The white shirt, that she is wearing is of the finest trimmed lace, and she doesn't have bare feet, like Butler and his cronies. You can tell, that Captain Lex Manley, or if you want to know her real name: Lady Lavinia Lavendertree, is a lady of refinement and of the correct breeding. It is quite obvious to one and all, that she has become a pirate, because she wants the challenge of danger and excitement in her life, but to a certain extent, she is very much like Butler, and when it really comes down to it at the end of the day, she is a little bit frightened of danger and excitement! And the rest of her crew, are more than slightly, aware of it!

The rest of her crew consist of her female Boswain, who was and still is, her dear old Nanny Rose, who has looked after her, ever since she was a baby, and she knows full well, that she is all talk anyway. However, that is not the case, where her Cabin girl Regina is concerned, who is one of Lavinia's hangers on, from her childhood and her Swiss Finishing School, and she is the sort of person, who is very naive, and hangs on, to her every word. It makes you sick, really, doesn't it?! Then there is the black slave girl second mate, Louella, who looks far more of a pirate than our Lady Lavinia, and then there is the Chinese female Cook, well I think, I may make her come from one of the many hundred Polynesian Islands, as I may make her threaten to cook the crew, from time to time, to keep them all in line, especially, as that is where Cannibalism, does originate, from those Islands, and not from Africa or Australia, like the majority of people, seem to think! How the rest of the crew have managed to get mixed up with our Lady Lavinia Lavendertree, is something, that I will have to work out, as I go along, and it will be explained, at their first conference, so to speak, which is due to start, right at this moment, when it actually comes down to it, at the end of the day.

"And so he took me..." "Oh yeah...?". Louella smiled at Lavinia, in an evil way. Lavinia sighed, she was getting a little bit bored, whenever she made a casual flippant remark, in her stories, to her crew, which could be interpreted the wrong way, but then, her fellow, or should I quote female members, weren't really well equipped in the brains department. And even though, she had, only had, the displeasure of being in their company, for the past twelve months, they were beginning to get her down a little bit, and she had to admit, that she was feeling a little bit downhearted with her tale of deceit, danger and excitement, but she was determined to make the best of it, if they weren't prepared to do so, anyway. So, she proceeded in the same carefree tone - "And then he took me out, to the City of Palma in Majorca, for the day. My, my, I have to say this my fine friends, but I just couldn't help falling for his charms, but I will tell you, once and for all, that Blackbeard is a real gentlemen! I couldn't care less, how unhappy people are, about his business interests! I won't ever hear a word said against him, do you hear!". Her crew by now, were looking at Lavinia with despair by now, and they didn't even bother to make any comment, but Lavinia wasn't having it. She exclaimed to them, in a loud voice, which made them shake a little bit - "I WON'T EVER HEAR A WORD SAID AGAINST HIM, DO YOU HEAR!?". The Crew thought it best to make the effort, otherwise, they would not be able to stop her from telling her tale about her experiences with Blackbeard, the most evil and renowned pirate. No, they would be there, until Sunset, if she had her way about it, and that was just the crux of this story. Lavinia was a woman, who was accustomed, to getting her own way. So, they merely said - "Aye, aye, Cap'ain!".

Lavinia smiled and said - "Good, I'm glad that we got that straightened out!". She felt that she was going to vomit, the moment that she saw Regina, staring at her, in utter fascination. She sighed and thought - "There's always one isn't there? I certainly know how to pick 'em, don't I?! If only Regina, would voice her doubts, for once. It might make me admire her, a bit more, if she had the guts to stand up to me!".

And so, Lavinia carried on, with her tale, which was most surely, what it was: "And Blackbeard, well, he did insist, that I call him Jamie, wanted to take me out, for lunch, at his favourite hotel in Palma, but I could tell by his roving eyes, that he wasn't interested in digesting food!". Nanny Rose looked at Lavinia in despair, because for the sole reason, that she had heard this tale, and come to that, other tales of a certain nature, a hundred times before, and when it actually came down to it, so had the rest of the crew, but that didn't deter, Lavinia, and she carried on, with her tale. She had certainly got the giggles today...

Well, Blackbeard suggested, after we, were both a little bit squiffy, that we went upstairs, which was something, that I was quite agreeable to, actually. So, I didn't hesitate, and do you know, I couldn't believe it, when I saw, that the room, had got a four poster bed! Why, it was so romantic, the setting Why, I never would have thought it of him, especially, when he picked me up, and he laid me...". By this time, you could tell that dear old Nanny Rose, had had just about as much as she could take, and she cut in and said - "I think that it's way past your bedtime my dear, and I honestly think that that the rest of us, are getting a little bit too old, well I mean mature, for hearing your bedtime stories!". "Well, I don't know, there is young Regina, and I honestly feel, that she does need enlightening on certain things!". "Lavinia do you want to be enlightened by a thick ear?!". Lavinia suddenly trembled. She wasn't quite at an age, where she had forgotten, the thick ears, that had been administered by Nanny Rose, over the years, even though, they were less frequent, now, that she was twenty five years old! With that, Lavinia was silent, and Nanny Rose, was suddenly in charge of the discussion: "Speaking of maturity, Lavinia my dear, when are we going to get some real pirating done?". "Well, yeah!", chipped in Louella and Regina. Well, actually, Regina, just chipped in out of duty, more than anything. She was so much in awe of her dear school friend, whom she assumed, that she thought the world of her, when in plain truth, Lavinia thought the complete opposite of her, and was desperate to get shot of Regina, because she felt that she was a bit of a pain in the arse, if you wanted to know the plain truth! But Regina wasn't aware of that, and she was just siding along, with Nanny Rose and Louella (whose male equivalent names were Rudy and Lou, if that is what I think, that you readers out there, may want to know, so desperately!) to keep in with them, and she was also quite afraid of the consequences, if she didn't pretend to keep in with them, but anyhow, to cut a long story short, Lavinia just sighed peevishly and said - "You don't call, what we did last month, real pirating?!", she answered them, in dismay. Louella laughed to this and said - "I would hardly call relieving the Mary Celese of all it's wine, red and white, which you seem to insist is more important, than threatening people , with slitting their throats, so we could relieve them of all their jewellery, real pirating!". Lavinia could not for the life of her, understand why, the girls seemed a bit restless, all of a sudden, well in fact, if you thought about it properly, they hadn't become restless all of a sudden. In fact, this feeling of disillusion, amongst the girls had been going on, during the past six months, that they had all been at sea, but it hadn't occurred to Lavinia one bit, that they might be a little bit bored! You see, I will try and simplify it, if I can for now. Lavinia hails from, a very genteel family, which is used to having it's own way, at all times, and to hell, with anyone who doesn't share her point of view, and she just takes it for granted, that they are with her, all the way, when in theory, they are not with her, all the way, one for all and all that nonsense! Well, Regina is with her, all the way, but that's Regina, for you! Regina's male Pirate equivalent name, is Reg, if you are interested to know, well, you're probably not, anyhow, as Regina isn't exactly an exciting person, as you may have already gathered. Lavinia is an exciting person, who has lived to a certain extent, but she is a little bit naive, and she doesn't really know, what she has got herself into! Anyhow, I will carry on with my story: "Why, Louella, wine is an important commodity to this vessel, and I will tell you this and now, we all need a drink, after a hard days work at sea!". Louella suddenly laughed in a way, that Lavinia was a little bit afraid of, and she said - "You need a drink, after a hard days work at sea, you mean! And I would hardly call, what you do in your cabin, day after day, a hard days work at sea!". Lavinia was astounded and she exclaimed - "Lou, you must understand, that as Captain of this vessel, that I have the utmost duty, to keep up to date, where making entries in the ships log, is concerned, and I do have to make a note, of all the goods, that we have pilfer... er, I mean that we have accidentally acquired during our time, at sea!". "I see, so I understand, that jotting down, our three lucky finds, in the log book, has taken you the best part of six months, then?!". Nanny Rose, answered her, with sarcasm. "Well, we did have a bit of luck, when we came across the Unhappy Roger! After all, it was you, who insisted, that we gave them a bit of a fight!". Lavinia smiled. "Which you almost turned away from! Because you said, you didn't think that you liked the dark clouds in the sky!". "Well, I was worried, that there might have been a bit of a storm, and I thought that it would be better to make for the shore, as soon, as possible!". By this time, Louella had had enough, and she suddenly lashed into her - "Absolute rubbish, Captain Mum! The only storm, that you were frightened of taking on, was the storm on board, with those two men! And when we finally sent out a distress signal, to let them know, that we were in trouble, you said, that you were in distress, with quite a nasty headache, which I know full-well, was a hangover, from the night before!". Lavinia gulped, but Nanny Rose also lashed into her: "And you were soon full of yourself, when we came on board, because those two nice Pirates, thought that we were in genuine trouble, when we sent out that distress signal!". "Well, they did work for my Father's company, and once I recognised Meddley and Porkerson, who had been part of quite a big swindle, where the accounts, were concerned, I was determined to take my revenge!". "Lavinia, they were going to be transported to Australia! The rest of the prisoners and crew lost their lives, during that really bad storm! And they were doing their best to navigate the ship back to Blighty!". Lavinia giggled and said - "Well, we left them with their lives intact, didn't we? What more could they want?! Good God! And we left them with enough food and drink, so they could survive the trip back to England! And I left them, with a case of wine! What do you think I am, Nanny Rose!? A merciless Bitch?!". Nanny Rose looked at her, in utter amazement and she said - "Lavinia my dear, I don't fail to understand, believe you me, and I was as anxious, as you were, to take a few supplies on board, and after all, we did need plenty of fresh oranges, limes and lemons, which we must have, so the American Sailors and Pirates, who pass us by, know that we are definitely of English blood! After all, when all is said and done, we are British, and we must uphold everything it means to be British!". Lavinia suddenly looked rather bored, which will signify to one and all, why she has got herself and her friends into this mess, at a later stage, in this story! "Get to the point, Nanny!", she said with impatience. However, it was Louella, who spoke up first, and she said - "I didn't object to taking one of the Cows, or even one of the pigs, or a couple of the hens! After all, it is vital to this ship, that we have a fresh supply of milk, eggs and bacon, but when it comes to taking all the crockery and cutlery, and those poor men needed to eat, what was left, with crockery and cutlery! And it would be quite cumbersome, for them to drink out of the water barrel, with their bare hands!". "Louella, those men, swindled my Father! I wanted them to get their just desserts! Don't you understand?!". Louella smirked at Lavinia and said - "You really think that making those poor men, do a little dance to us, singing: What shall we do with a drunken sailor and making them do a strip tease, was getting their just desserts?! Why, I didn't really like the way, that you were taking in, their every move!". Well, you must remember that there was no satellite television in those days, and that there wasn't very much to do on a ship, in the middle of the Atlantic ocean, making it's merry way to Tahiti! Lavinia looked a bit wary of Louella's comment, stated: "I-I just wanted to see, what they were made of, that's all!". Nanny Rose, cut in then, and said - "I should think you did and all! And look what happened to poor Regina! She only went and passed out, after she saw those poor men, in their birthday suits! And you are aware, Lavinia, that she was in a practically incoherent state, in her cabin, for the best part of two days! Why, she couldn't even speak for the best part of three days, after that disgraceful exhibition! The poor Lamb!". "Nanny Rose, one of these days, Regina is going to find the man of her dreams, and as she is only twenty one, I am a little bit concerned about her welfare, and I really thought that she ought to know, what she is going to have to face, before her wedding night!". "I'll say!", was Louella's comment. "I don't think it did her any harm, Nanny Rose! In fact, I think that she will more than thank me for it, on her wedding night! Well, I think that she may be able to cope with shagging, in the semi-light, at the very least, anyhow!". With that, Nanny Rose, clipped Lavinia around the ear, once more and said - "How dare you be so vulgar in front of the poor child!". Regina, was suddenly looking very pale now and it was quite obvious, that the memories of that dreadful day, were coming back to her, but I will quote this once and for all, that it certainly wasn't a dreadful day for Lady Lavinia Lavendertree! " Regina, go to your cabin at once! This isn't the kind of talk, for a pure young virgin, like yourself!". Regina looked rather doubtful all of a sudden, and despite her dear friend and Captain, being a little bit open at times, she did tend to look up to her, and in some ways, she did tend to find her openness, a bit refreshing at times, but whenever Regina was tempted, to take some of Lavinia's' advice, Nanny Rose, tended to intervene, which was a bit of a nuisance really, when it came down to it, at the end of the day. But Regina, knew better than to defy Nanny Rose and looking rather down, she headed in the direction of her cabin. However, Lavinia was soon quick to lash into Nanny Rose, and she said - "Look Nanny Rose, I only want what is best for Regina. You know you can't shelter her forever, and she is over twenty one now, and I honestly don't think that it is right, the way that you mollycoddle her! I may make fun of little Regina, but I think if she came out of her shell a little bit and she was more worldly, I really don't think it would do her any harm, and it might teach her to stand on her own two feet, a little bit more!". "Huh! If I were to let you look after that poor girl, she would be falling on her own two feet, never mind standing! Now, listen Lavinia you know full well, that you can't have it your own way, all of the time. After all, you are the Captain of this ship. What more do you want? And what's more, it isn't even your ship, it's your Father's, and far be it from me, to have stopped you from stealing it, on that fateful day at Liverpool Docks, but you were in such a state, that I had to save you from yourself, and to think, that I thought, that you were only joking, when she informed me, that she wanted to go into Piracy!". Lavinia looked at her old Nurse, very seriously and said - "Oh, I never joke about what I want to do in this life. You should know me, by now, Nanny Rose!". Nanny Rose, was looking at Lavinia with a great deal of contempt, by now and she said - "That's just the trouble, I don't really know you at all, these days, my girl! And you really had me worried, when you insisted that you were going to interrogate those two men, down below! And to think, that they had nothing on, while you were questioning them down below, all by yourself, for those two hours! You wicked girl! I shudder to think, what you were doing to them, by the screams, that were coming out of the hold!". Louella couldn't help smiling to this, and not only that, Lavinia was really smiling, quite evilly now, and whenever Lavinia thought back to that extremely hot day, when they had come across that ship, with those two naive men, who had worked for her Father. Well, come to think of it, they weren't so naive, after Lavinia had finished *torturing* them down below, in the hold! And it was an extremely hot day, down below, and even more so, in the hold, and those two men, had got nothing on, after all! In fact, whenever, Lavinia thought back, to those two hours of *torturing* those two men, she did find that once she got to know them, that they were extremely co-operative of her *torturing* them! After all, they had been out at sea, for the best part of six months, and they were very lonely, Lavinia had thought, and they had had no one to talk to, and as for a bit of female company! Well, when it came down to it, at the end of the day, they were only human, after all, and they were quite good looking men, Lavinia had thought, and after all, you're only on this poxy planet, once, and why shouldn't you live for the moment?! After all the hell, that Lavinia had had to put up with, via her Father, after her dear Alfred had died, she felt that she was entitled to a bit of pleasure, especially with the restrictions, that she had had to endure, since she was born, and there was no place for a woman, on the board at her Father's Shipping Company! However, the one thing, that she had been thankful for, was, that Nanny Rose had obeyed her instructions, not to interrupt her *torturing* of those two men, at a very crucial moment, and it certainly would have been a very crucial moment, on that extremely hot day! And she was thankful, that the woman, her old Nurse, was stupid enough to think, that her dear innocent, blue eyed, blonde haired little charge, was *torturing* those two evil men, for swindling her Father, when it actually came down to it, at the end of the day! Because Lavinia, when it came down to it, was not an innocent young lady, where affairs of the heart were concerned, and that is putting it mildly!

By this time, Lavinia had had more than enough, and she merely stated - "I think that it is about high time, that we drew this meeting to a close, and let's face it, if there is bugger all to do, then there is bugger all to do!". Nanny Rose thought of clipping her charge around the ear, but she thought better of it, and deep down, she had always thought, that young Lavinia, had deserved more freedom in life, and she had agreed to this foolish venture, in the first place, hadn't she?! And if word got out to Lavinia's Father that she had been involved on a whim, she knew that she would never hear the last of it! And when all was said and done, Lavinia was a very good girl really, and she just needed to let off a bit of steam, when it actually came down to it, and she wasn't an evil pirate, really, not like all those nasty pirates you heard about in The Daily Scum, slitting peoples throats, for their gold and such like! And they were female pirates, and one had to expect some decorum, really! And even her adventurous friend, Louella, wasn't all that adventurous really, and deep down, even she was a bit of a coward, but she would never have admitted it, to anyone, in a million years, when it actually came down to it, at the end of the day! It was just a bit of a lark, really!

After they had all gone their separate ways, Lavinia ordered Regina to come to her cabin, for a womanly chat. Nanny Rose, felt herself shudder. She did not like her brainwashing the girl, with her womanly ways of the world, like she insisted upon doing so. Lavinia may not have been a loose woman, really, and if she was, she was discreet with it, but compared to Regina's innocence, you could have compared Lavinia, to some of the most loose of Courtesans of their time, take Emma Hamilton, for instance! Well, a lot of people did, but that is another matter! For once, however, Nanny Rose decided to humour Lavinia, because she knew, that Lavinia would never listen to her point of view, in a million years. And she was fully aware, that once, Lavinia, had some more red wine, inside her, it may be possible, touch wood, that Lavinia, might not be in a coherent state, to advise, the poor girl about the birds and the bees, very much, anyway.

Once she was inside her cabin, with her red wine in the goblet beside her, Lavinia sat down at her desk, and she proceeded to write in her diary, which she knew would be another lie, as per usual. For once, however, Lavinia did not really feel in the mood, to write in her diary tonight. She looked round her cabin. It was quite a well appointed cabin, with a great big four poster bed. In fact, if you think back on Captain Butler's ship, with it's poky little cabins, the cabins on this ship, were basically the same in design, but that said, they were far more spacious, than the cabins, on Captain Butler's ship. Because when you think back on it, Butler and his crew had acquired (if that could be the correct terminology, really!), a far more crappier ship, when it actually came down to it, at the end of the day! And Lavinia was a lady, and she wanted a ship, that was fit for a lady. Oh no, she had never intended to pilfer any old pirate ship, she had decided right from the very start, that she was going to have the very best pirate ship, that money could buy! Well, her Fathers' money actually! But I will come back to that, again, a bit later on, in this story. It was a beautiful cabin, with bright blue wallpaper. Blue was Lavinia's favourite colour. No, not navy blue, blue. No, acquamarine blue was Lavinia's favourite colour. The suite also matched Lavinia's beautiful acquamarine eyes, which also represented a calm blue sky, on a very hot day. And it was a very hot day now, and Lavinia was also in a very hot mood, but she also felt very tired and very lethargic indeed, especially now, they were heading for Tahiti. Lavinia had absolutely no idea whatsoever, just how hot it could be at sea, and worse even than that, Lavinia also had absolutely no idea, just how boring it could be, at sea, either! And there were times, when she had never felt so lonely in her life. Admittedly, Lavinia had regaled in her new found freedom at sea, which she knew beyond a doubt, that she would never have been allowed, to have, back, on land, and Lavinia sighed, as she undid the bandana, on her head, which suddenly released, the most beautiful long blond hair, anybody had ever seen, and you have to think of the hot, hot shining Sun, shining in the Sky, which matched the colour of Lavinia's, beautiful long blond hair. However, her beautiful long hair was beginning to look rather matted and sticky lately, and Lavinia, was beginning to curse the continual hot scorching weather, and she knew, that once they managed to get to Tahiti, then at least she would have other things to keep her occupied. Well, if you could call walking up and down, on a golden beach, something to keep her occupied, that is! But Lavinia thought, that anything, would be preferable than walking up and down the bare boards of the decks of this confounded ship, that is! Lavinia estimated that they had all been at sea, for the best part of six months and seven days. Well, it seemed more like six years! It had been fun at first, when they had set sail, and Lavinia had loved nothing more, than navigating the ship through all the storms that raged every so often, and she could never understand why her crew, with the exception of Nanny Rose, who was built like a battle ship anyway, was seasick, even when the sea became just a little bit slightly choppy every so often. But Lady Regina Plaintree, had always been renowned to be seasick, even when she was proffered a drink of water in the Nursery, when she had visited her good friend Lady Lavinia Evergreen, on a Sunday afternoon. I know this may sound confusing, and I sincerely apologise if it does indeed sound confusing, but Evergreen is Lavinia's maiden name, and Lavendertree is her married name! But I will go into detail about that, in a moment. Lavinia had also been informed, by her dear Nanny Rose that she had even slept through one storm, that had nearly wrecked the entire ship about a month back, but Lavinia had had that much red wine to drink, that she had slept like a baby, while Nanny Rose had endeavoured to wake her, but it seemed that even Duncan's horses could not wake her, as usual. And poor little Regina, had negotiated the ship, through the choppy waters that night. Lavinia had wished that she had been awake at the time, because she knew that she would have loved every minute of the ride, and she had been really upset to discover, that she had missed out, on what would have been the most exciting time of her life! She had also been quite amused, to discover, that poor little Regina had, after the storm had calmed down, had spent the best part of a perfectly calm day and a half, puking up the after effects of the storm in her cabin, and Nanny Rose had kindly informed her that she might be a bit more sympathetic towards the poor girl. But Lavinia, had also stated, that it wasn't her fault, that Lady Regina Softwood, was a bit of a wimp! Lavinia sighed, as she poured her glass of red wine into her gold goblet. Oh why oh why, had she had the bad luck of being stuck with this poor excuse of a pirate crew? Why, they were nothing but a bunch of losers and wimps! Lavinia felt her head pounding, as she started to make an entry into her diary, which was as usual, was going to be a load of old codswallop, about her bonking every pirate, that she could think of, under the sun! She was a bit of a dreamer, our Lavinia! Why, she had made a lot of entries in her diary that had claimed, that so far, that she had bonked Blackbeard, Sir Henry Morgan and even Sir Francis Drake! But there wasn't a bit of truth in it, of course!

Lavinia sighed, as she put her pen, or quill, if one does prefer (and yes, I have seen the film: Quill’s, which was very loosely based, on the Maquis De Sade’s latter years, which was of a little bit of a kinky nature, which starred Michael Caine and Kate Winslett!), to paper, once again. For once, she was totally at a loss, to find something, to write in her diary. She felt so drained. It was the heat, she knew that. She more or less drained her glass of red wine in one go, she was that thirsty, and without any further aforethought, she poured herself another glass. There was no need to worry about running out of wine on this ship, as they had got more than enough supplies of wine, red and white to keep them going, for a lifetime! Lavinia smiled at the memory of relieving the Mary Celeste of it's supplies of red and white wine. She couldn't understand, what all the fuss was about, via her fellow pirates, where that was concerned. After all, it wasn't as if there had been anybody about, on the Mary Celeste, after they had all stormed it, anyway! And it wasn't as if its passengers, would be deprived of it's alcoholic beverages, was it?! And besides, Lavinia seriously thought, that as the centuries went by, nobody would even remember the Mary Celeste, would they?! But nevertheless, she had written up about the days events, where that was concerned, in her diary, anyway. And after all, if nobody cared about the deserted ship, the Mary Celeste, then at the very least, Lavinia would have a record of it, in her diary, for the rest of eternity, anyhow! In the meantime, however, Lavinia forced herself, to make an entry of today's events, in her diary, and she thought back to those two men. And she had been a very naughty girl, with those two men, to say the very least! And it had been a long time, since, she had behaved like that, anyhow... It was no good, Lavinia, thought. She just could not concentrate. And she felt very sleepy, all of a sudden. And in the end, Lavinia, fell asleep, at her desk, with her head in her hands. And she cast her mind back to another time, a time, way before, she had become a pirate. That had definitely been another lifetime...

Lavinia cast her sleepy mind back, to when she had been summoned to her Father's study, the day after her eighteenth birthday, seven years previously. And, as it turned out, it was a very overcast day, indeed. It had been a very bad looking omen, ahead, indeed, for all of the troubles, that would eventually catch up, with Lavinia, one way or another, sooner or later...

“You wanted to see me, Father?”stated Lavinia, without, very much enthusiasm… “Yes my dear, please do sit down”, he stated to her, very kindly. Lavinia sat down. She always knew, that her Father was after something, whenever, he spoke to her, in that tone. And Lavinia, suddenly felt very tense. It was as if, she knew what her Father, was going to ask of her. Or demand of her, come to that. She certainly knew her Father, only too well, where that was concerned…!

“You are familiar, with the Lavendertree family, Lavinia?” he asked. “Yes Father, ever since, I was eight years old”, Lavinia sighed, wishing her Father would get to the point of the matter.“You are aware, that George Lavendertree’s dear wife, Adele, died, last year?”. Dear Aunt Adele! Lavinia thought. And, for one moment, she felt very dearly, for poor Uncle George, who had always been so kind to her, from the age of eight, onwards. And Aunt Adele, had been the Mother, that she had never known, especially as her marriage, to Uncle George had been a childless one. Lavinia’s heart had ached for them, where that was concerned, because even though, it had been no secret, that Aunt Adele, had always been barren, they had always put others welfare first, before their own, and they had put a pretty brave face on things, even though, everybody concerned, knew that fact, in question, and that, they were dying inside, when all was said and done. And at that point, in time, Lavinia, was deeply concerned, about poor Uncle George, whom she had seen, very little of, since Aunt Adele’s funeral, and when she had seen him, very briefly, when she had paid her monthly visit, to her Father’s Office, she had thought, that he had looked like, a broken man, even though, his eyes had soon lit up, when he had made her acquaintance, and he had asked after her, very kindly, indeed. And Lavinia, had asked him, if he had wanted to go out, with them both for lunch, that day. And Uncle George, had tried to turn her invitation down, that day, and her Father had reprimanded her, especially as it had only been the best part of eight months, since her Aunt Adele’s passing. But her Father had not, reprimanded her, all that severely, and he made a point, of making poor Uncle George accept his dear kind Daughter’s invitation to lunch, to their favourite restaurant, on the quayside, on his behalf. And her Uncle George, knew that he had got, no choice, in the matter, but to accept, her invitation, to lunch, that day. Especially, as he and Adele, had always considered Lavinia, to be the nearest thing, that they had got, to a Daughter, at the time. And Lavinia’s Father, made the point, that dear Adele, would have considered his refusal, to his Daughter’s invitation, to lunch, a serious insult, especially as he had always thought of Adele, so kindly, over the years. And whenever, she had visited the Office, with George, and had come across, Lavinia, from time to time, via her monthly visit, his dear Daughter, had always made the point of inviting, them both to lunch, and as far, as he and Lavinia, were concerned, George would always be welcome to dine with them, whenever he chose to. Except, that there was one big difference…

However, as far as her Father: Anton, was concerned, he was sick and tired of seeing, his dear old friend and business associate, who was a hugely successful Merchant Banker, and The Lavendertree Merchant Banking Company, had looked after, the Willow Family’s Shipping Company’s interests, for the best part of a generation. However, it was the renowned Investment Manager: George Lavendertree, who had really turned his Father’s small banking company around, into a major concern. The Lavendertree Merchant Banking Company, had now got branches, all over the Country, which was considered, to be a great success, at the time. That would have been considered a remarkable achievement, in it’s day. However, at the age of only twenty three, with his sharp business mind, the young George Lavendertree, had soon acquired, a couple of very strong investments, which enabled him, to set up: The Lavendertree Investment Company, in the City of London, which he considered, to be his baby! And those couple of strong investments, had soon grown, into countless investments, and The Lavendertree Investment Company, in the City of London, had got a very strong reputation, and was considered, to be one of the biggest investment concerns, in the country, let alone the City, itself! And George Lavendertree, was considered, to be, ten times richer, than Anton Willow, even though, he didn’t do, all that badly, especially as George had increased the Willow Family’s Shipping Company’s interests, a thousand times over, and he had even made sure, that Lavinia’s financial interests, were taken care of, and that she was set up, for the rest of her life. And he had encouraged, his dear friend, Anton, to set up, a Trust fund, for her, by the time, that she reached her Tenth Birthday, with The Lavendertree Investment Company, and that, he put a reasonable sum, into the fund, on a monthly basis. Unbeknown, to her Father, George had insisted on, a placing a large sum, into her Trust Fund, which he would invest, ten times, over for her, as he had always held her, in such high regard, from the moment, that she had met him, and he had always felt, that child had great potential, and he had got his wife’s approval, one hundred percent, where that was concerned. After all, he could easily afford it, and he donated a lot of his money, towards the charities, that had appealed to his and his wife’s heart, especially where deprived children, were concerned, especially as they could not, have a child, of their own…

And as her Father never asked, for a financial statement, on his Daughter’s Trust Fund, he trusted his dear old friends, judgement, completely, where his Daughter’s Trust Fund, was concerned. And therefore, George knew, that he had got nothing, to worry about, where that was concerned. And even if Anton Willow, had demanded a statement, where his Daughter’s Trust Fund, was concerned, George always knew, that he could move the large amount, that he had placed into Lavinia’s Fund, into other Funds, and re-invest the large amount, along with other small amounts, that he had secretly added, into the Fund, over the years, ten times over, for her. And even, if her Father had demanded statements, from her Trust Fund, on a regular basis, George was more than prepared, to set up, an additional Trust fund, for her, that her Father would never, ever need, to even know about! And even Lavinia, didn’t know about the Trust Fund, that her Uncle George had set up for her, because her Father, had insisted, that she did not need to know about such things, until she had reached her Twenty First Birthday. George had not been very happy, about her Father’s attitude, towards his Daughter’s financial interests, and as much, as he admired his dear old friend, whom he had always considered, to be a very upstanding business man, where his Shipping Company, was concerned, he did not like his attitude, towards his Daughter, after he had informed him, that all she needed to know, in this life, was the household, that she would run, for a very wealthy husband, and give him an heir. A Grandson, who would run, his Shipping Company. George had done his level best, to inform his dear old friend, that he felt, that Lavinia was cut out, for far more, than that, and that, she had got great potential, and that she was cut out, for many things, in this life. But no matter, how hard he had tried, George would not listen to him, and change the subject, on to other business matters. Her Father had even objected to her coming to the Office, once a month, to visit him, for lunch, which he knew full-well, was a ploy, that would enable her, to find out, what brand new contracts, had been made, where her Father’s company, was concerned. Fortunately however, her Father was not aware of that fact, and he had just assumed, that his dear Daughter, wanted to get out, and about, a little bit more, and entertain, her dear Father and his business contacts, over lunch. Now Lavinia’s Father, did not object, to taking out, his darling Daughter, out to lunch, once a month, as he always enjoyed her company. No, he objected to her insistence, on meeting him, at the office, before lunch, as he did not think it was right, for a young woman of her class, to be seen, in a working environment. But deep down, Anton Willows, knew that he could not deny his dear Daughter anything, and that, it was probably for the best, if he humoured her, once a month, and as long, as she did not, go prying into his affairs, at the office. But unbeknownst to him, Lavina, was in league, with his Junior business partner, Wilfred, who was totally enamoured, of her. Even though, he knew, full-well, that he would never, ever be able to have a future with her, in a million years, because he was of working class origins, even though, he had worked his way, from the bottom to the top, when he had started out, as a mere office clerk, in her Father’s Shipping Company, all those years ago! And he had never really thought of her, in that way, anyhow! They were more like business confidantes, and good friends, really. But he had always told her, whatever, she wanted to know, where her Father’s business affairs, were concerned. And so, had her dear, George, come to that! And her Father, did not even know about that, either!

George Lavendertree had looked very tired, when he had arrived at her Father’s office, on that day, in question. But his eyes had soon lit up, the moment, that he had cast them, on his beloved Lavinia, the moment, that she had entered, the office. And, it had been a very hot afternoon, that day, when all was said and done. But they had all had, quite an agreeable lunch, on the quay, eating clams. And Lavinia and her Father, had been so relieved, that her dear old Uncle George, and his best friend, had looked a great deal, more like his old self, than he had done, in months. The shock of Adele’s passing away, had seemed to age him, somewhat… And, his dear friend, George had laughed, at something very witty, that Lavinia, had just said, and she had looked very beautiful, in her low cut sky blue gown, which had matched the colour of her eyes. And that had, since given her Father, an idea…

And at this very moment, his Daughter Lavinia, sat facing her Father, in his study. A very long silence had passed, between Lavinia and her Father, since she had cast her mind, back to her dear Uncle George… Lavinia was very worried, indeed, and she sincerely hoped, that he was not seriously ill. That was all, that she and her Father needed! Her Uncle George, was very dear to her, and she knew that she would have gone to pieces, if he was seriously ill. In fact, that would have been more, than she could bear! And she knew, that she had got no choice, in the matter, but to raise her fears, with her Father, where that was concerned.”Father, what is the matter? Is Uncle George very ill?”. For one dreadful moment, Lavinia’s Father, felt awful, he had gone and misled his dear Daughter, who was utterly devoted and enamoured, of her Uncle George! He knew, that he must amend, that error, at once! “No Lavinia my dear. George is in perfect health. I sincerely apologise, for misleading you. No, it is absolutely nothing to do, with George’s health. As a matter of fact, I really do feel, that he is a great deal more healthy, than I could give him credit for! No my dear, your Uncle George, has got a proposition, for you, that you may be of great interest, to you”. Lavinia smiled at that, and her Father, was very pleased about that, and it filled him up, with hope, that he would not have any great obstacles, where his Daughter’s attitude, was concerned, with regard, to his dear friend, George’s proposition, was concerned, which would secure, his and Lavinia’s future, for once and for all. Why this was going to be, so much easier, than he thought, it would be, or so he thought… In fact, Anton Willows, really did not know, his Daughter, as well, as he thought, it would, when it actually came down to it, at the end of the day! Lavinia, decided, not to beat about the bush, and she asked her Father: “Are you saying, that Uncle George, has got a business proposition, for me, Father? Is he asking me, for a position, in his Investment Business Company? Is that it?!”. Her Father could not believe, what she was asking of him, and implying. “I beg your pardon Lavinia? Why on Earth, would you assume, that a well-respected businessman, like George Lavendertee, would want to employ, a woman of your class, in his Company?”. Lavinia bristled, at her Father’s offhand comment. How dare he insult, her intelligence, like that! “Well, what can it possibly be, then Father?” she asked him, with coldness and a very deep cut sarcasm, which he would never see, in a million years! After her Father, had got over the shock, where her question, was concerned, which he mainly put down, to her concerns, about his dear friend, George’s health, which was more than understandable, when it actually came down to it, at the end of the day! And as he was fully aware, of his Daughter’s innocence, where affairs of the heart, were concerned, he felt, that her asking, if her dear Uncle George, for a position, in his Investment Business Company, was a perfectly logical and innocent question, even though, it was totally absurd, that a woman of her class, would be expected to work, at all, let alone, in a well-respected Investment Business Company, where she would be surrounded by men! But that said, her Father respected, the reasoning of that question, as he naturally assumed, that was attributed, where her complete and utter devotion, for her Uncle George, was concerned! But little did Lavinia know, that her ruthless and greedy Father, had got serious plans, for her, so that her complete and utter devotion, to her dear Uncle George, could be put to, a far better advantage, which would be far more suitable, to a woman of her position, was concerned!

Anton Willows, merely stated - “No my dear, he is offering you, his hand, in marriage!”. “Whhaatt!!!”Lavinia exclaimed, and she was now completely and utterly taken aback, with shock, by what her Father, had just proposed to her…!

So, now we have some idea, the evil female pirate Lady Lavinia Lavendertree, behaves like she does? And what is all this about her been married to a Lord Lavendertree? But that, is something, that we are beginning to find out, a little bit more, where this flashback scene, of Lavinia’s, is concerned! And just exactly, how is she going to voice, her opinions, and her objections, where that is concerned, with her very greedy and corrupt, Father: Anton Willows?

Find out more, where that, is concerned, in the next, exciting instalment, of:

THE GOOD SHIP LADY CAPTAIN!

SO, AVAST ME HEARTIES!

MARIE BIRCH

PAGE LAST UPDATED: 9TH SEPTEMBER 2011

MORE UPDATES COMING SOON!